Monday, March 31, 2025

Why I Identify With THE HURTING And With THE HELPER

 "Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God."  (2 Corinthians 1:4)

Last week there was a rarity on television!  Something was "hyped to the inth degree" by CBS as something very important that must be watched.  In the past, a number of items have been similarly proclaimed by a television network.  The publicity may be "off the charts".  It's all you hear about!  It's all over social media.  You tune in.  You watch it.  And you think "Huh?  That was boring, stupid, and not worth watching at all!"  Last week was different.  Last week was surprising.  CBS proclaimed the Thursday, March 27 episode of Survivor as extraordinary - an episode which would feature one of the most powerful and important happenings on Survivor ever!  I did not watch on Thursday night, and I hadn't seen Survivor in over a decade, although at one time I watched the show regularly.  I watch a lot less television than I did at one time.  Frankly, I consider much of what's currently on network television to be garbage!  Saturday evening, I happened to be flipping through the channels.  I was surprised that Survivor was coming on, and as far as I could tell, it would be a repeat of the regular Thursday night episode.  I decided to watch and see what this great thing was which the network was proclaiming.  I wasn't disappointed!

It's still quite early in this season's Survivor.  There are still plenty of contestants.  There was (in my opinion) a pretty tough "physical challenge" in which they were all competing.  I want to focus on two competitors who were each on two different teams:  Eva Erickson, a 24-year-old Ph.D. student who is also on a female hockey team; and Joe Hunter, a 45-year-old Fire Dept. Captain.  Eva was giving her all to the challenge.  She succeeded, but it obviously was taxing for her, physically, mentally, and emotionally.  The only way I can describe it is she had what I call "a melt down".  She was crying, and trembling, and obviously distraught.  She was definitely "not okay".  The viewers could see that Joe was very compassionate and concerned for Eva.  Jeff Probst the host did something he pretty much never does.  He broke protocol.  He asked Joe if he wanted to go over and comfort Eva, and Joe responded in the affirmative.  He went to Eva. hugged her, tightly held both of her hands, and calmly instructed her to breathe as he gave her words of reassurance and told her it would be okay.

It didn't take long for Eva to become calm.  She then addressed everyone present.  She told them she is autistic and that she was diagnosed with autism as a young child.  Her parents were told all the things that Eva would never be able to do because she "was not normal".  Her parents chose to believe despite Eva's autism she could live a normal life and that there was not something deficient about her.  Eva was mainstreamed in school.  Things were not always easy for her.  She referred to what happened during the Survivor physical challenge as an "episode".  She explained that all her life she's had to deal with these "episodes" but that she has never allowed them to stop her.  As an amateur hockey player and a Ph.D. candidate, obviously she hasn't allowed autism to prevent her from success in life.  As for Joe, he commented that what he did for Eva is what he'd expect someone to do for his own daughter were she in a similar situation.

I cannot properly express how deeply moved and affected I was by watching this very powerful situation on Survivor.  In doing so, I realized that I definitely identified with Eva, who had been deeply hurting and that I also identified with Joe, who was the helper.

Many years ago, I used to describe myself as "eccentric".  I will say my wife never liked that!  It's true that when people think of an "eccentric" person, they tend to think of "a nut", of someone that just makes everybody uncomfortable and will never fit in.  That's really not what it means to be "eccentric".  Rather, the word simply means "outside the circle".  An eccentric person is one who marches to the beat of a different drummer.  I've always been that person.  But in more recent years, I've described myself as "unconventional" which for some reason is less off-putting to people.  I don't have the space here to write about the "eccentric" and "unconventional" things I've done in life.  It would probably take forty-seven paragraphs for me to do that!  I will tell you just one.  Most of you know I'm an Assemblies of God minister.  At our 1998 District Council which is a business meeting and conference of the AG ministers and church leaders in Southern New England, I brought forth a proposal to change the annual financial giving requirements for ministers.  As I stood there before a couple hundred people discussing my proposal (which I really thought was a great idea) I could just feel the negativity and disapproval in the room.  I was confident on the outside but began to feel pretty scared on the inside.  There was a "voice vote" taken regarding my proposal.  Suffice it to say, it lost.  I'd say maybe 4% voted For it and 96% voted Against it.  During the remainder of the conference, I wondered if people were looking at me and thinking, "There's that weirdo".  So, yeah, I've had plenty of my Eva Erickson moments.  And I believe that's made me more compassionate.

But I've got to tell you about Stephen Weber here.  Who is he?  He was another minister in the District.  Honestly, I hardly knew him.  A few days later he contacted me.  He told me he'd voted For the proposal and that he appreciated what I'd tried to do.  He gave me some good counsel which I never forgot.  He said, "You never bring a proposal like that by yourself.  You've got to have at least two other people with you.  And one of them has to be somebody who has some clout in the District."  Rev. Weber told me if I wanted to try again, and set up a committee of folks who'd like to work on bringing a future proposal about changing the policy regarding financial giving requirements for ministers, he'd be happy to work on it with me.

I never did.  And I'm not close to Stephen Weber.  He now lives in another part of the country.  But he did a lot to make me feel not like a jerk but rather like a valuable and thoughtful and important human being.  I think just his reaching out to me made a tremendous impact.  I relate to Joe Hunter.  When somebody's "out there" having "an episode" I want to be the guy who jumps in and helps and encourages and affirms that person.  And I really try to do that!

There's a lot more I want to say.  But I think I've made my point.  I can't believe I'm writing this but, Thank you CBS and Jeff Probst for that powerful episode of Survivor.  And Thank you Stephen Weber for what you did for me back in 1998.  And Thank you to all the eccentric and unconventional people out there, including but certainly not limited to people with autism.  You bring some important stuff to the table and teach all of us some valuable lessons.  And Thank you to all the Joe Hunters who don't care what anybody else thinks but don't hesitate to jump in and comfort and help folks who desperately need that comfort and help.

I know the cliche "W.W.J.D. - What Would Jesus Do?" got way overused back in the 1990s.  But in this Easter season, I hope you won't just follow the crowd and just do what everybody else is doing - good or bad.  I hope you'll remember that powerful scene from Survivor.  It's all over social media.  If you haven't seen it, you should be able to find it and view it pretty easily.  And I do hope you really will ask yourself in every situation, "What Would Jesus Do?"

Identify with The Hurting!  And when you are able to do so, Be The Helper!