"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)
I have just finished reading a most unusual book. Ironically, I received this book "by accident". It's probably not a book that I would ever have purchased [otherwise] nor had any desire to read. Its title is pretty unappealing: "Fail". I have belonged to the IVP Book Club for probably thirty years. IVP is a Christian publishing house. During the years I was pastoring I purchased a number of books through them. I'm not sure why I have not cancelled my membership in the club. I almost never order books anymore. Frankly, I just can't afford them. "Fail" was
part of a recent "Double Main Selection" offered by the book club. A
few weeks ago, I suddenly realized I had forgotten to cancel that "Double Main Selection". I tried to cancel on-line, but I was too late. The two books were shipped to me. I left that mailing packet just sitting in my bedroom for a couple of weeks. Reluctantly, I opened it up, glanced at the books, wrote out a check, and mailed in my payment which was already late at that point.
About a week ago, I started reading "Fail". The author, J.R. Briggs, is a pastor who has experienced some great disappointment and failure in his life and ministry. This has led him to do heroic ministry to scores and scores of men and women who have "failed" at pastoring churches, or in their personal lives. Almost none of the failure Briggs
deals with are the kind of failures we usually hear about when we think
about ministers who fail. We usually think about the guy who ran off with his secretary, or the pastor who had a homosexual affair with the church organist, or the female pastor who embezzled funds from the church. Briggs rather focuses on the type of failure he experienced: "amoral failure". The ministers who have experienced "amoral failure" are the ones who have seen the churches they pastor decline from average Sunday morning attendance of one hundred fifty to average Sunday morning attendance of thirty. They're the ones who are honored for serving twenty years in the ministry on one Sunday evening and then fired at a surprise Board meeting on the next Sunday evening- only to then discover that no church has the slightest interest in employing them. They're the ones who have a teenage daughter attempt suicide and then are asked to resign because they seemingly have no ability to inspire teenagers. They're the ones who are grossly underpaid, run their credit cards over the limit, can't pay their bills, and are dismissed for being poor stewards. And, in almost every case, they're the ones, like me, who believed the success or failure of the local church was entirely up to them- who may have gone through the motions of reading their Bibles and praying every day, but who tried desperately by "hard work" and manipulation to "build" and "hold together" a church, only to see their ministries crumble before their eyes. They're the ones who are often suicidal and bitterly angry in the aftermath, and who sometimes walk away from God as a result.
Initially, I found it to be a very tough book. On the one hand, I seemingly couldn't get enough of it, but then after I'd read a chapter, I would have seen so much of myself in it and re-lived so much of my own feelings of pain and loss that I'd have to put the book down for awhile. At this stage of reading, I commented to two close minister friends of mine that the book was very tough reading and that I only hoped it would have a happy ending.
The enemy Briggs takes on in "Fail" is not church board members. It's not denominational hierarchies. It's not self-absorbed pastors. Oh, he touches on the failures and problems of all of those, but the enemy he takes on is the completely unscriptural "success" culture of the evangelical Christian churches of North America. Briggs is not entirely against those "church growth" and "ministry success" conferences, but he warns the reader that we can't take that stuff too seriously and that no matter how many vision statements we draw up or how many marketing strategies we implement in our churches, if we fail to love the Lord Jesus Christ will all or our hearts and give our loyalty to Him; and if we fail to truly love people, disciple them, and build relationships with them, even if we do succeed in building megachurches we have totally failed before God. Yes, it's that whole worldly success culture that he believes we need to flush down the toilet, and I agree.
Some of the stuff in the book made me uncomfortable. Briggs believes we have to be raw and authentic in our prayers. He quotes one pastor who yelled the "F" word at God (and I don't mean "fail" I mean that word) and sees that as a good and healthy thing to do. Listen, I've poured out my heart to God in a similar manner to Job in the Bible at times, but as far as yelling the "F" word at God, well, to me that's a bit much! And, Briggs comes from more of the style and culture of today's young evangelicals (he was born in 1979- the year I graduated from Bible college) which encourages social drinking. There are mentions of going to bars and having glasses of wine. Listen, I know Jesus drank wine, but I'm from a teetotaler denomination that I'm just a lot more comfortable with, thank you.
The bottom line is the book does have a [fairly] happy ending. Briggs believes there is absolutely recovery and a bright future ahead for ministers who fail if they will really allow the Lord to do the work in their lives that He wants to do. [Briggs includes a lot of practical advice about how to recover from ministry failure- the book is not all theoretical.]
This
book is new, just published in the spring of 2014. This may seem like
an extreme thing to write, but I honestly believe it should be required
reading for every pastor and associate pastor, for every church board
member, for every denominational executive, and for any mature
Christian. [I don't think I'd recommend it for any "new" Christians-
too intense for them!]
For more information about the book and ordering it, check out: http://www.ivpress.com/cgi-ivpress/book.pl/code=4111
"Salute every saint in Christ Jesus. The brethren which are with me greet you." (Philippians 4:21)
(Forgive me; the first couple of paragraphs will be kind of "overly
detailed introductory material". If you want to skip them, you may, but
I felt they were rather necessary to make you appreciate the rest of the piece!)
I almost could have called this piece, "Friday Throwback", for in some
ways that's what it felt like. It would really take pages and pages to
tell you of how much Barnabas Ministries, Inc. and its "John 17:23
Fellowship Groups" have meant to me. That ministry was started largely
though the efforts of The Rev. Dr. Richard A. "Dick" Germaine over
twenty years ago. (Dick's story could really be made into a Christian
film. He came to Hopkinton, Massachusetts pastor a "liberal" New
England Congregational church in the early 1970s and saw God transform
that church into one of the most important and dynamic evangelical
churches in New England. Dick resigned that pastorate over a decade ago
but remains very active as the Executive Director of Barnabas
Ministries, Inc.) During the final six years that I was pastoring in
Framingham, I was a Member of a "John 17:23 Group" led by Dick himself.
I got to know him very well and was the recipient of lots of prayer and
helpful counsel from him. One of the ministries of Barnabas
Ministries, Inc. is the "weekly pastors prayer outpost". I know, that
almost sounds like a title from the Old West! At least, it always did
to me. On Friday mornings, Dick and a group of Intercessors meet in the
"chapel" at Faith Community Church in Hopkinton and pray for all of the
pastors who are involved in any way with the "John 17:23 Fellowship"
and specifically pray for requests that various pastors have e-mailed in
to them. The pastors prayer outpost is always open to any pastor who
has a need or who just wants special prayer. He or she can just show up
and receive that prayer blessing.
For a couple of years, I became a "regular" at the Friday morning prayer
times; usually going every other week, but occasionally even attending
weekly. There have been many losses in my life over the past six years
or so. For me, a couple of the greatest losses have been the "John
17:23 Fellowship Group" which met every other week on Wednesday mornings
and the Friday "pastors prayer outpost". Due to my secular work
schedule, I had to drop out of each- and considering I was not pastoring
anymore, I really didn't meet the criteria for the Wednesday group. I have occasionally
attended the Friday prayer times since the church has closed and I've
moved out of the area; but over the past three years, such Friday
mornings have been very rare and I don't think I'd been to one for over a
year prior to today.
It's most unusual for me to not be assigned to work at the answering
service on a Friday morning. When I saw that time slot was "open" I
began thinking about going to the Friday morning pastors prayer
outpost. There were some mixed emotions. Am I a pastor or not? I am
still an Ordained Minister. However, I get very mixed messages about
that question: Am I a pastor or not? I'm not currently pastoring a
church. I don't generally go around telling people I'm a pastor. I
usually just introduce myself as "Bob Baril" and say nothing about the
pastor stuff. Some people insist on calling me "Pastor Bob Baril".
Others have pretty strongly let me know I'm definitely not "Pastor Bob
Baril". I just kind of keep it neutral and "go with" however that other
person wants it to be. I wondered if it would be a good idea to attend
the pastors prayer outpost or not. Last night, the weather forecast
was calling for "two inches of snow" especially in central
Massachusetts. I figured it was pretty definite I would not be
going to the pastors prayer outpost, but would rather be scraping down
driveways and walkways with a shovel. I was surprised and relieved when
there was no snow on the roadways this morning and no more than an inch
on most lawns.
I was just a bit nervous and uncomfortable as I walked into the chapel
at Faith Community Church at 8 a.m. I was warmly received, and
literally hailed as a pastor. I wondered if I really deserved that
title and recognition. The intercessors are usually divided up into
several groups- there were three groups today. I used to be really
"into it" when I'd be part of these prayer meetings years ago. As we
prayed for various pastors and churches and situations I realized I was
pretty much "out of the loop". I did not recognize quite a few of the
names of pastors. After several years, there have been a lot of
pastoral changes in the area. It still felt great to be part of it,
however. I was blessed that a pastor in the small group in which I was
praying specifically prayed for me and my situation. I did not ask for this at all, but it almost moved me to tears.
Toward the end of the Friday morning intercessory time, everybody goes
up to the front of the chapel and stacks of cards (I think they're 4 x 6 cards)
are passed out to each person. On each card is the name of a pastor
and the place where he or she ministers. (If the pastor is retired or
in transition, it may just include the pastor's name.) One person reads
a Bible verse and leads in a general prayer; then we each
simultaneously read the names of each of the pastors out loud. Finally,
when all of the names have been read, we close with an "Amen". I
always find it interesting if the names of some clergy friends of mine
are found on any of "my" cards when we do this exercise. I was rather
blessed that today I had the name: Dan Condon, Meeting Place Church.
(He is the pastor of the new English-speaking Assemblies of God church
in Framingham.)
When we finished, I had this thought: "They probably don't have my name
on one of these cards anymore. Why would they? I don't pastor a
church and I'm not even likely to do so again."
No sooner had I finished that thought, when Jay Germaine, Dick's wife
turned to me with a big smile. "I did not get to pray for you in the
small group today," she said, "but I had your name on one of my cards so
I did get to pray for you!"
Boy, was that a surprise and an encouragement!
I have not yet told you what I will call "the frosting on the cake" about this morning:
I met a fellow Assemblies of God minister that I did not know. He's a
black African guy who is starting a brand new church in Milford,
Massachusetts. His name is Christophe Akagla and the church will be a
multi-cultural church known as "The Mount of the Lord". It turns our there are
some mutual pastors we each know. Christophe [like a lot of black
African pastors] is young, happy, energetic, and friendly. We had a
chance to chit chat for a couple of minutes afterward in the parking
lot. He was so happy to meet me, and, well, that made me very happy!
Yes, it was kind of a "Friday Throwback" but more than that, it was a Divine appointment!
Incidentally, for more information about Barnabas Ministries, Inc., please check out:
http://www.barnabasministriesinc.org/
"So David prevailed over
the Philistine with a sling and with a stone, and smote the Philistine,
and slew him; but there was no sword in the hand of David." (I Samuel 17:50)
That sentence reports the results of the brave teenage boy David slaying
the "giant" Philistine named Goliath. Many of us learned that story as
children. I know my grandson Ben loves it. Yet, it's not just a
"story". It's reality. David and Goliath were no match for one another. Mighty Goliath should have killed David in a matter of less than a minute. That time the guy with everything going against him won! (What he had going for him was his faith in God and his obedience to God, but that's a subject for another day!)
There's a great "David vs. Goliath" type political race going on in a New England state right now, and I suspect most who will read this piece are completely unaware of it and unfamiliar with it! It's not the coming election for Massachusetts Governor between Coakley and Baker. It's not the coming election for U.S. Senator from New Hampshire between Jean Shaheen and Scott Brown. It's not Question 3 on the Massachusetts ballot about whether casinos should be allowed in the state. It's none of those.
How many of you know that there's an election in Massachusetts this November for a U.S. Senate seat? I must admit that until very recently I did not know this! A local radio station is running promotional pieces saying they'll
have all the coverage of the elections for Governor and U.S. Senate. I
honestly assumed they were talking about the Shaheen/Brown race in New Hampshire- and it turns out they were not! In fact, incumbent U.S. Senator Ed Markey of Massachusetts is facing challenger Brian Herr on the ballot. I had honestly assumed that Ed Markey was running unopposed. I have heard almost nothing in the media about this election. In
fact, I did not know there was a Republican running against Markey
until I voted in the Massachusetts Republican primary in September. I
was stunned to see a Republican listed as running for U.S. Senate. I had never heard of Brian Herrr. I figured he was just some party activist who'd agreed to be the "sacrificial lamb"- just putting his name down, not campaigning at all, and probably getting about 13% of the vote.
It turns out I was dead wrong about that.
In the early days of writing my blog I wrote a fair amount about politics. In more recent years, I've written very few political columns. There are a number of reasons for that. Twenty or more years ago, I was very much a "political junkie". I was up to my eyeballs in politics. I couldn't get enough of the stuff. And, I was (frankly) an obnoxiously far right wing Republican. Over the years, I've drifted much more toward the political center. I've also become disillusioned with a lot of what makes up politics. I've realized that America's hope is frankly in turning back to God in humility and repentance and not in electing any particular person or party. Frankly, a lot of Democrats are nicer people than many Republicans are. And, frankly, very few Republican or Democrat politicians are even close to being in the will of God. I was very disappointed in the choice between Mitt Romney and Barack Obama for President. I didn't like either one of them! That's also what I'm going through regarding Martha Coakley and Charlie
Baker for Governor this year in Massachusetts. I honestly don't want
either one! If we put too much faith in politicians we will be very disappointed. So, I did some real soul searching before writing this. I don't agree with Brian Herr on all of the issues. I know that most of my
fellow evangelical Christians will be disappointed that he's strongly
"pro choice" and that he strongly favors gay marriage. I still think
he's worth voting for over Ed Markey, however.
Brian Herr was a guest on Dan Rea's "Nightside" program on WBZ a few nights ago. I expected to hear a boring, milquetoast sort of candidate. Boy, was I wrong! I did not know that Brian Herr had served for a number of years on the Hopkinton Board of Selectmen and Planning Board. I did not know that he's a Marathon runner. I did not know that he's a very articulate, energetic, and (dare I say it?) charismatic guy. I did not know that he very seriously plans to win the election against Ed Markey!
I checked for publicity about Brian Herr on-line and I enjoyed seeing a photo of Brian and Dan Rea that was taken in the studio. I have been a guest on "Nightside" in that very studio, myself! And, I think the white casual shirt Dan is wearing in the photo is the same one he was wearing the night I was in there! Honestly, I think Dan's lost a little weight,
though! I sent a short communication to Brian Herr about this, and was
pleased to get a reply from a woman involved with his campaign. She asked me to consider writing a piece on my blog about why I'm voting for him. I wrote back that I'd "consider" doing it, and after a lot of thought, here it is!
Listen, I don't hate Ed Markey. He seems like a nice guy. I've shaken Ed Markey's hand at a Natick 4th of July parade. Ed's done some good things, but he's been in Washington for way too long! Ed Markey is a "Washington insider". Frankly, Washington is broken. I think it is time to send a bright, hard-working, "regular guy" like Brian Herr to Washington as our Senator.
People who know me know that I'm a guy who believes in "underdogs" and who believes in "dreaming impossible dreams". Some of you may know my favorite film is "Field of Dreams". In my own life, many times I've been that Kevin Costner character sitting and watching my baseball field filling up with snow, wondering why Shoeless Joe Jackson did not show up. Sometimes I think we are all too sensible. Truly, a big part of me hates the notion that we have to "be sensible"! No, it's not sensible for Brian Herr to give his all running for U.S. Senate against Ed Markey and actually think he can win. It's a total "David vs. Goliath" thing. But I admire what he's doing, and I'm planning to vote for him.
Whether you're liberal or conservative or somewhere in the middle...whether you're Democrat or Republican or independent: I hope you'll do something that's not one bit sensible on
Election Day. I hope you'll cast a vote for Brian Herr. Wouldn't it be
cool if the "not sensible" people prevailed?! Wouldn't it be cool if "David" won this time?!
Please check out:
www.herrsenate2014.com
And, please pass this information on to your friends!
"And they laughed him to scorn..." (from Mark 5:40)
The "Him" in that sentence is the Lord Jesus Christ. The people who laughed him to scorn (believe it or not) were a group of "professional mourners"! You'd have to read the whole passage to appreciate it. I chose that short quote to illustrate the point that since a group also "laughed me to scorn" today, I guess I'm in good company!
Today, right around 12:30 in the early afternoon, I was driving in downtown Framingham. You literally never
know know what you're going to encounter driving or walking in downtown
Framingham. It's a complicated mess of streets, traffic lights, and
railroad tracks, and all sorts of cars and trucks and pedestrians. The
one thing driving in downtown Framingham is not is relaxing!
Something that can really make things go from bad to worse in downtown
Framingham traffic is a construction site in the middle of the road. I
know not all of you are familiar with Framingham. For those of you who aren't, I guess you'll just have to use your imagination. There was some sort of Verizon telephone work going on. It was not on one of the poles. Rather, there was a manhole cover open, and a big Verizon utility truck in the middle of the road with several workers milling around and doing one thing or another. This was on Union Avenue, just a very short distance from the Memorial Building and the heart of downtown. The truck was at the intersection of Proctor Street and William Welch Way (where the police station is). That's a very busy and confusing spot. I was planning to stop at the downtown post office and check to see if there was any mail in my post office box. In order to do this, I would need to take a left turn onto Proctor Street. (I was heading from the Memorial Building area toward the
direction of Bowditch Field on Union Avenue.) I put on my left turn
signal. At that very moment, a white van was coming in the opposite direction and the driver was signaling for her own left turn onto William Welch Way by the police station. I stopped and made a point to stick my hand out the window and gesture for her to turn. One of the workers watched me do this. When she was done, I went into my own left turn to get onto Proctor Street and head down to the post office. I did instantly encounter a PROBLEM! As I was making the turn just past the big utility truck, I saw that I was actually somewhat past Proctor Street. This was not going to be a quick and easy turn! Proctor Street was just to the left of where I needed it to be! I started making the sharpest left turn I could possibly make, and I was still aiming into the sidewalk and just shy of Proctor Street.
It gets worse.
"Hey, what do you think you're doing?!"
I looked and what to my wondering eyes did appear but a middle-aged police officer! That was about that last person I wanted to see in that moment. The look on his face was one of total disrespect and disgust. The look said, "You're the stupidest, poorest excuse for a man I've ever seen, and you're the worst driver I've ever seen, you moron!" No, he did not say that, but the look did.
I was now starting to back up slightly to try to reposition to make the turn.
"Stop backing up," he said with even more disrespect and disgust, "you're going to hit a car!"
He then said, "Just drive through the parking lot and onto the street!"
Now, there was a Brazilian restaurant's parking lot which I knew from the very beginning (of realizing I was in trouble) that I could easily have driven through to avoid the problem, but I am of the understanding that it's wrong and frankly illegal to just drive through a private parking lot for your own convenience. Yes, it was nice to just drive through the parking lot, onto Proctor Street, and then on to the post office. The worst part was what I heard as I pulled into that parking lot.
"Did you SEE that GUY?!" the cop bellowed out and the macho utility workers all had a big, macho belly laughs over it.
Yeah, I was laughed to scorn.
Now, think about this: Is it not the cop's job to manage and direct traffic coming each way when working a detail at a utility work site like that? (For those of you who do not live in Massachusetts, this whole scenario may seem very strange because in almost every other state, there are "flagmen" and "flagwomen" who work such details and who generally do a great job at it. The police unions in Massachusetts have a sweetheart deal requiring police to be hired to work all such details- at big money.) I never saw a cop until I was well into trying to make that left turn. So much could have been done to make this situation easier for the driver. Had I seen a cop and then put my signal on, if he did not want me to make that turn he could have said, "I'm sorry sir but you can't take that turn right now." Or, he could have said, "Sir, just drive through the parking lot to the street." Or, they could have posted a bright orange "sandwich board" kind of sign reading, "NO LEFT TURN", or "NO TURNS DUE TO CONSTRUCTION". All of that would have solved the problem. If the cop was supposed to give me guidance as a driver coming on an unexpected and confusing situation, he pretty much failed at it. And, there was certainly no reason to treat me, a guy who has not had a traffic accident since 1985 (and that one was not my fault) and who has had very few traffic tickets as though I were such a terrible driver and a moron!
I honestly found myself giving this a lot of thought today. I guess you have to have the mind of a pastor or a writer (and of course, I've been both) to think of this, but I began thinking of how evangelical Christians treat "unsaved" and "unchurched" visitors to our churches who don't have a clue about spiritual things or about the evangelical church culture and "language". Sometimes we do a great job welcoming them. But sadly, other times, we (perhaps without meaning to) treat them with disrespect and disgust when one enthusiastically remarks that she's "pro choice" or "loves Howard Stern" or asks when told, "Turn to the Book of Romans"- "Is that in the OLD Testament?"
I remember hearing a story of a guy bringing an "unsaved" friend who was in recovery to the exterior door of an evangelical church on a Sunday morning. The "unsaved" friend had a lit cigarette in his mouth.
"Put that OUT!" the "greeter" at the door barked with disgust- well, with the same attitude the cop had with me today!
Now, listen, I don't favor smoking on church grounds or inside a church facility, but there is a kind and sensitive way to handle a situation like this so that the person does not feel "rejected" and like a total jerk. I honestly don't think that visitor ever came back to that church.
Yes, I was laughed to scorn today. But it did give me some stuff to think about.
"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones." (Proverbs 17:22)
My father, Eugene A. "Gene" Baril passed away in 2000. He'd be over
ninety years old if he were living today. Dad was a very complicated
guy. He spent many years in law enforcement, starting as a Boston
Police officer in the early 1950s and retiring as a Supervisor at the
Massachusetts Registry of Motor Vehicles in the early 1980s. Dad was a
very strict father, a perfectionist, and had a very serious side.
Nevertheless, there was also a side of Gene Baril that was hysterically
funny. He had a magnificent sense of humor, was a good storyteller, and
sometimes would be struck funny by some of the most unlikely of life's
incidents which would render him helplessly laughing with seemingly no
ability to stop laughing- almost to the point of crying! This story
from his youth vividly illustrates his "funny side":
Somewhere around 1940 when my father was in his late teens, he had to
pose for a very important portrait. I've wondered if this was for his
high school yearbook photo, but I honestly don't think that's what it was. I do remember that it was a very important portrait and that it had to
be taken at a specific photography studio somewhere in the city of
Boston. Dad told this story a few times, and I've even heard my mother
tell an abbreviated version of the story (although my mother was
generally not one you'd consider to be a captivating storyteller).
Despite the many times I've heard the story, there are some key details
I'd love to know, and I'm not sure why I never asked for more details.
Now that my parents have each passed on, I'll have to present what I do
know of this tale. My father went by himself to the photography
studio. The photographer was an older man; perhaps he was in his
sixties as I am today. I know he was of foreign origin; having come to America from eastern Europe. I picture the studio as old.
I picture it as rather dark and a bit imposing. I can imagine the
smells of developing fluids in the place; not overwhelming smells, but
just enough odor that you know you were in a place where developing
chemicals were used. I picture the camera and other equipment as old;
perhaps dating from the 1900s or 1910s. I imagine the chairs, stools,
and other furniture as old, also.
It's not difficult to imagine how a young man in his late teens would
feel upon entering such an establishment and meeting an older guy who
was culturally eastern European. At that young
age, you just kind of want to take care of business as quickly as
possible and quickly get out of there! I can imagine the photographer
sitting my father on a stool, and manipulating the positioning of his
hands and his legs and his head, and even adjusting his tie and his suit
jacket.
Now, in order to really appreciate what my father heard that day,
I want you to think of the word "give"; but I want you to think of the
word "give" being mispronounced. Think of "give" sounding as if it
could rhyme with the word "heave". That word would sound like "geave".
Even so, "geave" is not quite right. It needs to have a little more of an "f" sound and a little less of a "v" sound; maybe like "geafvfe". Yes, I think that's perfect.
There was my Dad, in his late teens, in that dark old photography studio
sitting on that old stool looking at that old camera and at the old
ethnic man operating the camera. There was my Dad feeling so awkward
and uncomfortable and just wanting to get out of there. There was my
Dad thinking, "I just want to get out of here. If this doesn't get over
with fast, I'm liable to burst out laughing." It got very quiet. It
got very tense. Fifteen seconds suddenly felt like fifteen hours.
Then, a stark breaking of the silence as my father heard the following from the photographer:
"Now, geafvfe a little smile."
That was all it took!
Out of my father's belly erupted instant hysterical laughter! Have you
ever seen the episode of The Three Stooges where they're under the
influence of laughing gas? Well, I imagine it was like that. Dad
laughed hysterically and uncontrollably. He couldn't possibly pose for a
photograph to be taken! He laughed and laughed and laughed and
laughed- harder, and harder, and harder, and harder! He laughed until
he was almost crying! He laughed until he had almost lost all bodily
control! He laughed on and on and on and on! His laughing just did not
stop!
Dad got up (laughing) and staggered out of that photography studio! There was no way that photo was going to be taken that day!
But, now Dad was facing a real problem. He had to have that
picture taken. It was very important. I'm not sure how many times he
may have tried to go back to the studio and have the picture taken.
Somehow I can picture him walking there only to put his hand on the
exterior door, burst out laughing, and be unable to enter the place!
Eventually, however, he did go back. He walked into the studio.
He exercised agonizing discipline to keep from laughing or feeling
silly at all. I know that as an adult, my father would think of dead
loved ones to try to keep from laughing in certain situations. Dad
managed to speak to the photographer, to get back onto the stool, to go
through all the preparations, to come to the fifteen seconds that seemed
like fifteen hours again. Everything was done all over again.
Amazingly, the photographer had not recognized him and was not aware that this was the young man who'd had a hysterical meltdown in the studio.
Following the fifteen seconds and the tension, the words were spoken:
"Now, geafvfe a little smile."
It happened again! Yes, it happened all over again! The instant, hysterical, uncontrollable laughter, again!
"You!" the angry and bewildered photographer yelled, "You! YOU!!"
I don't know why, but several weeks ago, I thought of that story,
completely "out of the blue" as it were! And as I thought of the
words:
"Now, geafvfe a little smile."
a big smile formed on my face and I began to chuckle!
I honestly don't know if that photograph ever got taken! Somehow, I don't think it did! If it did, it had to have been done by another photographer.
I've not only inherited my father's talent for storytelling and his
tendency to laugh hysterically at the most inappropriate times, but I've
also inherited my mother's tendency toward deep depression and
hopelessness. I've walked through many low moments over the past few
years. I've got to tell you, thinking of that story and having that
smile form and the happy chuckling that followed sure felt good! It's
ironic that an incident from over seventy years ago would bring such a
smile and feeling of happiness to me. It's especially ironic that it
came after I mentally heard the words
"Now, geafvfe a little smile."!
The memory of this story came to me seemingly "out of nowhere". Our
Lord knows that "a merry heart does good like a medicine" as His Word
proclaims! I choose to believe that God brought this back to my
memory to bring me a laugh and to brighten my day! I know most who
read this piece will have never known my father, but I hope as you
picture that nervous teenage boy and his fits of uncontrollable laughter
that you'll also at the very least "geafvfe a little smile!".
P.S. There are very few photos of my father that can be found on-line, but at the Massachusetts Registry of Motor Vehicles website is an article about the early history of license plates in the state. At the link below is that article which incluces a photo of my father taken around 1980 when he was in his late fifties. He's on the left in the photo holding the first Massachusetts license plate and on the right is plate collector Stu Berg holding the state's first Dealer plate.
http://www.massrmv.com/rmv/history/
"...remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive." (From Acts 20:35)
The following is the text of an e-mail I sent out to a number of friends last week. I have received (I think) seven enthusiastic responses about it. However, I was honestly surprised that there were only seven responses. I guess sometimes I'm very naive and sometimes I very unrealistic, but I fully expected to hear from three or four times that number of people! I know this piece is very long; maybe it's too long! My daughter Rachel thought it was too long, however, she "edited it down" and posted it on her own Facebook page and strongly encouraged people to participate in this 60th Birthday wish of mine. I will always be grateful that Rachel did that! Since writing this, I've sent off my contributions to each ministry and charity I named. No, they weren't huge amounts, but boy did it feel good to give! I've decided to give this thing one more try today. I hope you'll give it some thought and prayer! Thanks and God bless you! Well, here's the text of what I wrote ten days ago:
September 2, 2014
A 60th BIRTHDAY WISH:
From Bob Baril.
My Facebook page is:
https://www.facebook.com/bob.baril.7
(Even if you're not a Facebook Member, you should be able to VIEW my Facebook page.)
It does not seem possible that on Sept. 19, 2014, I turn 60 years old!
I vividly remember turning 40 in 1994. I was miserable. Our
church had bought a building and seemingly NOTHING was going right with
this purchase. I already felt very depressed and like an absolute
failure; but then turning 40 really got me down! Honestly, I
acted like a whining obnoxious baby when I turned 40 and I probably made
most of the people closest to me frustrated, miserable, or both!
Ten years later, I very much wanted to make up for my sadness and "being
a jerk" at 40! I decided to make turning 50 a big, happy celebration.
My 50th birthday fell on a Sunday. At the time, I was still pastoring
that small church. I made a big deal of it and invited all sorts of
friends and relatives to church that Sunday and to a big birthday dinner
celebration at a local restaurant. My close friend Ed from Texas came
and was the guest speaker that day. It WAS a much better event than was
my 40th. In retrospect, however, as great as that event was, the mistake I made with that celebration was it was all about me...probably just too much so.
Now, don't get me wrong: I certainly look forward to having a special
birthday dinner or two with family and friends this year; and I always
enjoy birthday cake and ice cream! And, hey, should anybody decide to
give me any sort of a present, I'll be most happy and most grateful!
HOWEVER, over the past few weeks, I've been giving this whole
thing about the "milestone" of turning 60 a lot of thought. I want to
CELEBRATE it and have fun this year- NOT be depressed and a jerk like
when I was 40. But I also DON'T want to just have this big "it's all
about ME" atmosphere like I promoted when I was 50.
At 60, in so many ways, I'm not where I wanted to be in life at this point.
(Many of you know the losses and disappointments of the past 5 years or
so.) At THIS age, I wanted to have a LOT more...NOT so I could "eat,
drink, and be merry"- NO. But I really LOVE giving... and at this age, I
wanted to be the kind of a guy that could write out several large
checks to several ministries and charitable organizations I really care
about, AND be able to do that several times a year every year! I can't do that, and believe me, I have deep regret about that.
Recently, I asked myself what the ministries and charitable
organizations are that I really care about and that I'd write large
checks out to on the occasion of turning 60 IF I were able to do that. There are six of them. Four are ministries, and two are secular charitable organizations.
Within the next few days, I plan to make a donation to EACH of these
organizations. Some of those donations may be as little as $5, but my
feeling is, "It's SOMETHING". In addition, I've had A THOUGHT: What if
I asked people I care about to make donations to these six in honor of
my turning 60? And, that's what I'm doing here. Listen, I'm ASKING, and you may say "yes" or "no". AND, I am NOT asking anyone to make a donation to every one of these six! Rather, I'm asking that you take ONE
of them and make a donation. IF you want to comment that you're
making a donation in honor of a friend's 60th birthday, you certainly
may do that, but it's probably BETTER if you DON'T say anything about
that at all! Just send the donation! If you're afraid of being added
to a mailing list, just (if possible) make a notation to that effect.
AND, what would really be exciting is if you forward this to a friend of yours who may not even know me, but who might be willing to add to this effort. I can't make HUGE
donations to any or all of these fine ministries and charitable
organizations, BUT if quite a few people made donations to them- big or small, THAT would be just as good and would really make me VERY HAPPY on the occasion of this 60th birthday!
There's a poignant old song lyric which opens with the words, "Try to remember a kind of September..."
I'd love to make THIS September of 2014 a September to remember!
Though I may be unable to do MYSELF what I'd love to do; I'd be
thrilled to have a bunch of friends band together for such a good and
Godly purpose this September.
NOW, these are the SIX ministries and charitable organizations:
1. The Billy Graham Evangelistic Association. No organization
helped me more with my own discipleship and Christian growth than did
that organization in the early 1970s. They're still very much alive and
are doing a great work of evangelism and discipleship! You can donate to them online, or you can get information on how to mail them a check, if you'd prefer:
http://billygraham.org/give/give-online/
2. Convoy of Hope.
Convoy of Hope is affiliated with the Assemblies of God, but this
practical "hands on" organization helps ANYONE in need and works with
many, many faith groups. They send in "Eighteen wheelers" loaded with
clothing, food, and medical supplies
to large and small cities all over North America (and
have done so in several foreign countries). This ministry REALLY makes a
difference! Find out more about Convoy of Hope and how you can donate
on-line or by sending a check at:
http://www.convoyofhope.org
3. Good Samaritan Project.
I've been to rural Haiti twice and my daughter Amy has done medical
missionary work there on three occasions. I've not specifically been to
THIS ministry in Haiti, but I have been very impressed with the work of
(Baptist) Pastor Jean Enock Deroseney in Grand-Goave, Haiti.
(Grand-Goave is very close to the epicenter of the January 2010
earthquake.) The needs there in Grand-Goave are STARK! You can learn
more about this ministry and learn how you can give on-line OR mail a
check to their Florida office:
http://www.gsphaiti.org/
4. Your Local Church's Missions.
If you're a part of a good local church which has a missions budget and
has a number of missionaries they support, you really should get behind
that effort. Drop a check in next Sunday's offering earmarked for the
church's Missions program and you'll be a real blessing! Now, if you
are not part of such a church but you'd like to support local church
missions, I have the link to the church I belong to which is Bread of
Life Church in Westminster, MA. Their address is listed at their
website, and THERE IS ALSO A WAY YOU CAN GIVE ON-LINE USING PAYPAL.
It's all explained at their site. Just remember to designate the gift
for MISSIONS.
http://www.breadoflife-ma.org/
5. Samaritans USA. We have heard a lot in the news lately about the need for suicide prevention. The issue of suicide prevention is one that I care a lot about and that has touched me very deeply. The Samaritans do a lot of good with their crisis hotlines and other outreaches. I know they have a chapter in Framingham, Massachusetts, but they've got a number of others, as well. Honestly, I'm NOT sure if you are able to donate on-line to Samaritans, but you CAN get addresses where you can send donations, and you can learn more about the organization:
http://www.samaritansusa.org
6. Alzheimers Association.
My father suffered with Alzheimer's Disease and lived into the very sad
"late" stages of the disease. A number of my other relatives have
suffered with Alzheimer's Disease, as well. This is a charity I care
about. More information available at:
http://www.alz.org/join_the_cause_donate.asp
THANK YOU EVER SO MUCH!
BOB BARIL
