WHY I DO IT

“That I may publish with the voice of thanksgiving, and tell of all thy wondrous works.”  (Psalm 26:7)

Recently, I mentioned a fellow pastor (without naming him) who essentially told me he has no time to waste on reading blogs and/or mass e-mailings.  Since I’m kind of famous on a small scale for writing a blog, for sending out mass e-mailings, for being somewhat sensational, and even for writing and mailing out (by U.S. mail) a personal newsletter to around 12 people every week, today I found myself thinking about WHY I do this stuff, and why I’m the way I am, and whether my style...the “way I operate” in life is savvy or stupid!

Well, here’s why I do it:

When you’re the little guy...when you’re pastoring a very small church which is (unfairly) thought of as insignificant...when you’re thought of (well if ANYBODY thinks of you AT ALL) as at best a hanger-on in life and at worst a total failure...well, if you’ve been marginalized or you’re “job” has been marginalized in the way I’ve experienced, you learn that you’ve gotta get creative.  You’ve gotta raise your voice.  You’ve gotta get “out there”.  And, as hard as this may be for some of you to believe, IF you’re willing to be a little eccentric, a little over the top, a little “in your face” and a little bit “out there” the publicity can be very beneficial and can really pay off.

When I first came to First Assembly of God of Framingham in 1987 the church had been in existence at that time for over sixty years.  As I moved about Framingham, I learned that virtually nobody had ever heard of the church.  They did not know where it was located.  They did not know anybody who attended the church.  They did not know anything about it.  And, in most cases, they didn’t WANT to know anything about it and whey wouldn’t have cared if it disappeared and ceased to exist at any time.  Most of the people who attended the church at that time were very nice people who were content to go to their kids’ hockey and soccer games and content to (as a church) be a nice happy little family.  Most of these people were not going to “go out there and make a big splash in the community”, so little by little I set out to do that.  It STILL bothers me that people around Framingham ask me, “Now WHERE is your church?” or “That’s a BRAZILIAN church, isn’t it?”  But as frustrating as it can be, I have gotten to know some “key players” in the Framingham community and our church (which still suffers from image problems) is perhaps better know than it has ever been.

A sort of a renaissance in my life and in the life of the church is when the Christian station “J-LIGHT RADIO” existed in Framingham from roughly 1997-2002.  Some of you will remember that I became sort of a “personality” on that station...appearing every Friday morning running a Bible trivia contest, and featured on-air in various other capacities.  My “radio star” status in the local Christian community ran from roughly 1998 to 2001.  In those days, I suddenly had people almost tripping over themselves to shake my hand at Christian functions, and I even ran into people around the community who were NOT evangelical Christians who listened to the station.  Most of you know, the station ultimately failed and disappeared, and now it’s just a faint memory, but those were exciting days for me.

A few years ago, I put together a sort of a one man dramatic presentation and made the rounds in this part of New England as a guest speaker.  I had a LOT of fun doing that and I was thrilled to make some extra money.  I must admit that I stopped doing that because I got tired of making phone calls and being told “no” but when I was persistent, I did get bookings.  Sometimes I wonder if I should get back to that again, and maybe I will.

My weekly newsletter goes to twelve or so people who are either personal friends of mine, friends of First Assembly of God of Framingham, or both.  That newsletter may seem like a lot of work and energy, and it is, but at times the recipients have unexpectedly visited a church service, sometimes dropping a large check to the church into the plate.  Once in awhile, one of them has even sent ME a donation.  Every week I manage to get those people’s attention and have them for a short time thinking (praying?) about Bob Baril and about First Assembly of God of Framingham.  I think that’s been worthwhile.

The blog also “puts me out in front of people”.  I’ve met people through this blog.  One person I met is Michelle Swartz McElroy who has a fantastic blog about Framingham called  www.thisisframingham.com   I’ve also developed a strong clergy relationship with The Rev. Mindi Welton-Mitchell, pastor of First Baptist Church of Framingham who hasa blog entitled Rev-o-lution.  I think the fact that she’s a writer and that she’s willing to kind of “put herself out there” and be vulnerable is why I’ve had a strong connection to her.

Sadly, small churches close up EVERY DAY.  Sadly, pastors of small churches resign and leave the ministry EVERY DAY.  Sadly, most people don’t know or care about any of this stuff.  Once in awhile, there’s a guy who’s going to be crazy enough to get out there and get in your face and say, “I’m me, I matter, I’m important, and even more the church I pastor matters and is important.  Here I am, crazy ideas, sensational personality and all, and I’m not goin’ anywhere!”

Is this schtick of mine doing any good?  Well, you’re reading this, aren’t you?!

THE DAY OF THE SNOWSTORM

“Let all things be done decently and in order.”  (I Corinthians 14:40)

Sometimes I joke with people and tell them that I have O.C.D. :  “Obsessive Compulsive Disorder”.  Well, no, I don’t LITERALLY have it.  I have to make that clarification because sometimes when I’ve joked about “having it” people have thought that I literally DO have it!

I will say I’m one of those people who REALLY likes things to be orderly.  If you’ve ever seen “The Odd Couple” I’m kind of a “Felix Unger” and my wife is kind of an “Oscar Madison” so things can get “interesting” at home!

I’ve been called a “control freak”.  As much as I bristle at that designation, I have to admit, it’s at least somewhat true!.  Order; stability; “closure”; “things making sense”; checklists with all the “to do” stuff checked off... well to rewrite the old Julie Andrews song “My Favorite Things”, these are a few of MY favorite things.

This week, ...well actually it’s this month. ...well ACTUALLY it’s this YEAR...so far has been NOTHING like I’d prefer it to be!  Predictable?  Nope!  Easy?  Nope!  “Sensible?”  Nope!  Orderly?  Nope!   For a compulsive planner, it’s been kind of challenging so far!  Due to certain technical difficulties with my iMac computer, I won’t be posting this for awhile after I’m actually writing it, but I’m ACTUALLY writing this at 1:30 p.m. on Monday.  My kids and I have shoveled out, but so far I’ve been home all day.  My daughter took a drive by the church and informed me the lot is not yet plowed, so there’s no point in going over there, and I know the library is closed.  I’ve got a million things to do and I’m home just about climbing the walls!  On Tuesday morning, my ‘89 (low mileage) Volkswagen goes into the shop for several days of major work.  It will be hard to give the car up for several days.  Our ‘93 Olds now also has major problems and my wife and I have just decided to NOT fix it but to look for another vehicle.  This Olds is the car our 21-year-old mainly drives and today she’s “not a happy camper”.  (Thank God we DO still have our 2000 Dodge Grand Caravan, which so far is doing O.K.)

I know I need to remember I’m reasonably healthy, I’m not doing without food and I’ve got a roof over my head.  But when you have this “gotta have everything in order” thing going on inside of you which,can’t be satisfied, well, since I don’t swear, I’ll say it “STINKS”....

Yup, there’s a whole “to do” list that’s just laying inside my briefcase and not getting done!  There’s other stuff also that’s not getting done, but writing about it would bore most of you to tears.  Do you supposed God is just forcing me into a mandatory “time out” or something?  Maybe. 

Now if I were Hillary Clinton, I’d walk over to Dunkin Donuts and sit in there drinking a coffee and crying that I’ve just got so much to do and I just can’t seem to get it done.  Well, with her that sort of behavior managed to defeat Barak Obama!  What would it accomplish for me?  Well, (and I’ve got to admit, this really brought a playful smile to my face) - it would accomplish ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

JON IS A GENIUS!

My son Jon is a genius!

Our problem with the new Verizon FiOS setup is that when we go to www.aol.com and try to check mail (which I can do at the library all the time) it will not allow us to do that and says we need a more up to date browser. We have tried to download one, but nothing is up to date enough. Initially, this was very frustrating and disappointing.

What Jon did instead is to go into our computer's AOL software and change all the settings to adjust for the Verizon high speed rather than dialup.  NOTE:  The Verizon tech. today tried to do that and COULD NOT.  The Verizon tech.  just couldn't understand or figure out how to do it!  I NEVER would have been able to , but Jon did, so I'm back in business!

One thing Jon is not sure of is, when Mary Ann cancels her paid AOL acct (I have a sep one at the church) will this affect the AOL software and make our signing on from home no longer possible?? We don't know, but at least for now, this works!

I'm feeling a lot better about this because it IS great to have high speed internet and to no longer have the phone line tied up when you're on-line, but I had been very disappointed that I could not just go to the AOL site and check my mail as I can do at the library.

I also SHOULD be able to start a Verizon e-mail acct, BUT it also requires a better browser than we have.
Sorry to bore you with all the details, but I'm so happy to have e-mail back!

VERIZON FiOS UPDATE

As an update to my Dec. 24 posting on the blog and e-mailings to some close friends, we DID end up having the Verizon FiOS installed today.

At this moment it has it's good points and bad.  The actual hookup time for
television, computer, and telephone took under 4 hours.  WIth an old house it
involved some drilling through the floor, drilling through walls, running wire
along wall area, etc.  I'm not always crazy about that kind of stuff, but
realizing it's an old house and that's about all they can do, it wasn't a huge
surprise.

The television is fine, and I think ultimately I will like it better than the
cable company I had before.  And of course, our home telephone is now
transmiting over  the very latest in fiber optic technology.

My disappointment has been with the internet.
Our old MAC computer did meet the minimal requirements for FiOS and
TECHNICALLY it does connect to the internet. HOWEVER, we although we were able to go to
www.aol.com
we were not able to open and read e-mail due to needing software updates.  We were also not able to set up Verizon e-mail accounts due to needing software updates.  It remains to be seen if this is just stuff we will have to
download, if we will need to go to the Apple store and buy and updated operating system, and even in a worse case scenario, if we're going to need a new comptuer.  Mary Ann IS able to use her Dell laptop at home, and Rachel will be able to use her MAC laptop at home, so we CAN check our e-mail on those comptuers but the computer end is still very disappointing to me.

The Verizon technician said he "does not know much about MAC computers or AOL" so he left and was unable to help us.  He was a nice guy, but THAT was disappointing.  We do have a Verizon number we can call for technical support.  It will remain to be seen how this stuff will work out; but honestly, at this juncture I'm kind of frustrated and disappointed.

Incidentally, I'm writing this on the ancient computer at the church office
and putting it out on very old fashioned AOL dialup!

THE N.H. PRIMARY

“The lot is cast into the lap; but the whole disposing thereof is of the Lord.” (Proverbs 16:33)

Today is the New Hampshire Primary.  Frankly, it’s much too early this year, and the Iowa Caucases were too early, as well.  Back in the 1960s and 1970s, the New Hampshire primary took place around the first week of February.  In 2004, it happened in late January.  It used to be that the Primary process was not over until June.  Do you remember, for instance, that Robert F. Kennedy was shot at the time of the 1968 California Presidential Primary in early June?  Today it’s said that the whole process will probably be over before the end of February!

I was delighted that Barak Obama won the Iowa Democrat caucases.  Well, to be specific, I was REALLY delighted that Hillary Clinton did NOT win!  I do believe there are scores and scores of reasons why it would be a very bad thing to get the Clintons back into the White House.  Both Obama and Edwards on the Democrat side are far too liberal for my tastes, BUT I think either of those guys would make a far better president than would Hilliary Clinton.  All that said, Barak Obama is going to win the New Hampshire Primary.  Good for him!

On the Republican side, John McCain is going to win, and I say, “Good for him!”  I’m tired of Michael Graham and Jay Severin saying John McCain is not a real Republican.  I know Republicans are constantly quoting Ronald Reagan and constantly trying to say they are the “Ronald Reagan of 2008”.  WHO would Ronald Reagan be voting for if he were alive and healthy this year?  I’m not sure, but I’ll tell you this:  Ronald Reagan would NEVER have tolerated John McCain being insulted and disparaged by Michael Graham or Jay Severin or anybody else.  I can see Reagan with that “I’m paying for this microphone!” attitude of his saying somehing like, “THIS man is a hero, now SHOW HIM THE RESPECT HE DESERVES!!” 

Severin and Graham are very upset that McCain attracts many independents and  Democrats.  Let me get this straight?  That’s  a BAD thing?  The fact is, if John McCain is the Republican nominee, he will win in November and probably carry at least 41 states. McCain even has the potential to carry Massachusetts, as Ronald Reagan did in 1980 and 1984.  In fact, at least HALF of Reagan’s polularity and support was from independents and from conservative and moderate Democrats (such as my late parents).  In 1980, Reagan was probably more popular with Democrats and independents than he was with Republicans.  For most of 1980, the guy the Republican party establishment desperately wanted for President was George Herbert Walker Bush.  I think they’d have settled for Senator Howard Baker who was also running that year.  In the end, Reagan drew big support from independents and Democrats and you all know what happened, although the miffed Republican establishment made sure Bush was on the ticket as V.P.

You can’t tell I’m a political junkie, can ‘ya?  Naw.....

I CARE, JEFF ADAIR!

“Into thy hand I commit my spirit:  thou hast redeemed me, O Lord God of truth.” (Psalm 31:5)

I enjoyed Jeff Adair’s column in yesterday’s (Sunday, Jan. 6, ‘08) MetroWest Daily News.  It’s on page H3 and is entitled, “It pays to keep cool”.  The column was all about a big guy who was essentially a bully and a jerk to Jeff as he was just trying to remove snow from his property.

That column blessed me for a number of reasons.

Probably the biggest is I can just hear all the people out there who would say, “What kind of a column is that?!  Who cares if some guy was a jerk to him as he was removing snow?!  Who cares how he felt?!  Who cares how he chose to deal with it and what a lesson that was for him and for readers?!”

I can relate, because I’ve been on the receiving end of those kind of comments by superficial, self-confident, conceited individuals more times than I can remember.  It’s happened a lot recently.  Over the past month, I put out a few of what I call “mass e-mailings” asking people to read pieces on my blog and to give me some feedback.  Virtually none of those who were “solicited” were strangers.  All were people who at one time or another I’ve had SOME contact with.  I’m of the belief that one of the greatest tools of the internet is the ability to relate and communicate with people, in a sense of community, where we all respect one another and help one another to grow.

Boy have I been naive!

I got one reply from a female attorney who wrote that she receives over 300 e-mails at a whack.  About my writings, she said, “You’re always complaining about the same things”. 

I am?

In the (almost) two years I’ve had the blog I don’t think I’ve ever twice complained about the same things.  And, if she meant the same kind of things, I’m not even sure THAT’S true. 

I wrote her back a sort of polite but terse e-mail saying that since she has so many more important things to deal with, I won’t send her any more e-mailings.  She responded with sort of a “well, don’t get upset” reply.  Well, I wasn’t furious or in a rage or anything like that, but as I wrote back in my final e-mail to her, if there’s an issue which I feel directly or indirectly should concern community leaders in Framingham, then I’m going to raise my voice (use my blog, whatever) to make an issue about it, and I don’t think Ineed to feel guilty about that.

More disappointing was the comment of a fellow minister when I asked him to read my blog.   He replied that he never reads blogs or mass e-mailings and has no desire to waste his time with such matters.  Yet, this man sends ME a regular e-mail newsletter and expects me to be vitally interested in his ministry, even to the point of financial support.  Do you think I had a good reason to feel hurt about his comments?  Well, whether it was a valid reason or not, I did feel kind of hurt and bewildered.

I listen to a lot of talk radio and I’ve listened to a lot of talk radio for a long time.
This will absolutely shock many of my friends and readers but if I ever had a talk radio show, it would most resemble that of radio talk show host Tom Leykis.  I can just hear those who know who that is incredulously yelling, “TOM LEYKIS??!!  TOM  LEYKIS??!!  YOU would be like Tom Leykis?!  How can that be?!”

Well, granted, Tom Leykis is an atheist, and I’m a committed born-again Christian.  Tom Leykis has a pretty foul mouth at times, and I don’t.  Tom Leykis is a political liberal and I’m a political conservative.  Tom Leykis was arrested for domestic violence when he was doing his show in Boston back in the early 1990s, and NO I’m not guilty of domestic violence!  What I always DID like about Tom Leykis is how REAL he is.  His show (on WRKO in the early 1990s. later nationally syndicated in the mid and late 1990s from the west coast) discussed “things YOU really care about”. One show was about how he feels like a jerk when he goes to Home Depot.  One was about a huge water leak on his property that the city of Los Angeles refused to do anything about.  One was about the bad treatment he got from a pizza shop.  One was about funny experiences people have had at funerals.  (I was an on-air caller for that particular show, and he loved my stories.)  Tom talked at times about his father who couldn’t handle credit cards and who was never treated right by his boss.  Tom even talked about a big emotional break he had with his dad at age 18 and the effects of that.  He also talked about his desire to never have children and how it caused him to be alienated from some friends who have a disabled child.  At times, Tom did programs entitled, “Ask the atheist” in which he defended atheism.  As you can guess, I didn’t care for those, but what I loved was his vulnerability, his openness, and his frankness.  He just talked about LIFE, and if you listened and thought about it, he usually had something to teach you in his own peculiar way.  So, if I was ever a radio talk show host, I’d be a kinder gentler Tom Leykis.

This posting may explain why I write some of the pieces that I do on this blog.  It may also explain why I SO appreciated Jeff Adair’s very “Tom Leykis-like” column. 

Yes, some of us like to spend hours debating the war in Iraq or global warming.  Others like to talk about what we learned from a confrontation with a bully in a snow-shoveling situation!

I care, Jeff Adair! 

FEELING LIKE JIM BRAUDE!

“And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.” (Luke 6:31)

When it comes to most “stuff”, Boston media personality Jim Braude and I have nothing in common.  Jim is what commentator Bill O’Reilley calls a “secular progressive”.  Jim Braude is liberal, pro choice, pro gay marriage, is not comfortable with the religious right, etc. etc. etc.   When it comes to most political and social issues, Jim Braude and I are on opposite sides.  But there’s an area where Jim Braude and I are very much alike.  Neither of us fits the bill of being cool, mechanically inclined, strong and silent blue-collar types.  I find that cool, mechanically inclined, strong and silent blue-collar types often rub me the wrong way.  (Not always, but OFTEN.)  In the story I’m about to tell, I believe Jim Braude  (another white-collar, college-educated, idealistic guy) would have reacted very much as I did. 

Ironically this incident occurred on Monday, December 31 (New Year’s Eve)...I say ironically, because a previous emotional disaster in my life occurred exactly one week beforehand on Christmas Eve (please see the “A VERY ‘FOOT IN THE DOOR’ CHRISTMAS” posting).  It was New Year’s Eve DAY...around 10 a.m.   I had shoveled snow at home, and my wife and I were taking her 2000 Dodge Grand Caravan over to the church so both of us could get some things done.  Mary Ann had not had breakfast, so we went to McDonald’s on Route 30, and she got a take-out breakfast.  As we drove along Concord Street southbound heading toward downtown Framingham (I was driving) suddenly there was a loud sound that sounded like wind...almost like a jet plane engine or something.  I was startled and I could not understand WHAT that sound could be.

“What IS that SOUND?!” I asked my wife. She lowered her window, looked out, and informed me that the right rear tire was COMPLETELY flat.  The sound we heard was the sound of me essentially driving on the rim!  I was only a quarter mile away from the mechanic we use.  I wanted to try to get there, but Mary Ann (probably wisely) was dead against that, telling me I’d ruin the rim if I tried to go that far.  We both decided the best thing to do was to pull into Dunkin Donuts at Concord and Lincoln Streets.  I backed into a space and got out.  The tire was totally flat and I could see that part of the rim WAS bent slightly. 

It’s ALWAYS bothered me that I’m terribly unhandy.  My father was quite a handyman, and my brother was a handyman’s handyman.  Both have passed on.  I inherited my mother’s mechanical ability which is ABSOLUTELY NONE.  For some reason, women can get away with being terribly unhandy, but men who are terribly unhandy are often made to feel like they’re stupid or effeminate or both.  Now, I actually HAVE changed a few tires in my life, but changing a tire on a Dodge Grand Caravan would have been a bit of a challenge even for my father.  I called AAA and I was told they’d have someone out within an hour.  Interestingly enough, two AAA tow trucks came to the Dunkin Donuts lot during the next hour that were NOT for me!  They were just guys getting coffee!

I was really feeling guilty that I might have ruined the rim.  I had also not had the best final week of 2007.  In fact, for me, the last week of 2007 was easily the saddest and most stressful week of the year.  So, this was just “par for the course”.  But that’s not the end of the story.

After being at the Dunkin Donuts lot for around 30 minutes, 3 men in blue-collar uniforms  (I did not recognize their company name) came to me and told me to move my Dodge Caravan.

“I can’t,” I told them.  “I’ve got a tire that’s completely flat...right down to the rim...I’ve called AAA Emergency services, and I’m waiting for them.”

They looked at the tire and looked at me as though I were the stupidest and most unmanly man they’d ever seen.  With ear to ear grins, they again demanded I move my vehicle.  It turned out they were arriving in a Dunkin Donuts eighteen-wheeler to deliver supplies to that Dunkin Donuts store.  I’ve seen this truck there before.  When it arrives, it renders the bulk of the parking lot for the Dunkin Donuts and the neighboring bank USELESS. 

Well, what was I going to do?

Drive on the rim?

Forget the service call?

Get into a much wore predicament?

These guys were not going to take no for an answer.  My wife did not think their request was unreasonable at all.  She could not understand that I was shaken, distraught, and furious.  I could imagine my late very macho father saying to me in an authoritative tone, “Don’t ever move a vehicle when you’ve done damage to a rim. I don’t give a hoot WHO is telling you to move it!!”  On the other hand were the grinning, sarcastic blue-collar Dunkin Donuts eighteen-wheeler guys who were not going to take no for an answer. 

I ended up moving the vehicle across the lot to a bank parking space.  I felt as VIOLATED as I did one week earlier by the Verizon salesman.  My wife means well but she proceeded to sweetly speak spiritual platitudes to me.  She really does mean well.  But here I think Jim Braude would be in agreement with me.  That moment was not the time for spiritual platitudes, however well meaning.

Well, I am happy to say that several positive things DID happen.  The AAA man named “Joshua” finally did arrive.  I think he was a Brazilian.  He was VERY nice and did a super job changing the tire.  Mary Ann took the Dodge Caravan to Ron’s Tire and was able to buy a new tire.  Although the rim did have minor damage, it was only minor and was still usable.

I have a ravenous appetite.  I’m ALWAYS hungry and I typically eat too much. I was so upset I could not eat any lunch, and when it comes to me, THAT’S saying something!

I can tend to get very strict with what I call “illegal parkers” at our church parking lot.  But if I encountered a guy who had a flat tire and possibly damaged rim at our church lot even on a Sunday morning, I’d just stay out of the guy’s way!. I would figure he had enough problems and I did not need to make things worse for him.   I know, I know, those 3 guys had to make a delivery.  Maybe they shouldn’t be making deliveries at 10 a.m., tying up the bank and Dunkin Donuts parking lots and causing all sorts of problems.

So that’s my latest brush with human nature.

Any comments?