A VERY "FOOT IN THE DOOR" CHRISTMAS

“...and by good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple.” (Romans 16:18)

Monday, December 24 started off well enough.  Considering the snowy, icy, and just plain awful weather the Boston area has recently endured, this past Monday wasn’t bad at all.  I got some errands done during the morning, and I also spent a few hours at the church office putting the finishing touches on the Christmas Eve service.  Well, we DID take in a modest amount of water at the church facility which I had to “wet vac” up, but aside from that, it was a great morning.

I came home early with plans to enjoy a leisurely afternoon prior to the 7:30 p.m. Christmas Eve service.  In the mid-afternoon I was sitting at my home computer when I heard the doorbell ring and also heard someone pounding on the door.  I ran downstairs, but my two young adult offspring told me they’d gone to the door and whoever was there had already left.  I glanced out the front door, and I saw a man with what appeared to be a loose-leaf notebook across the street talking to the woman of the house.  He talked and talked and talked.  I think he was there for at least fifteen minutes.  I assumed he was some kind of a slick magazine salesman and I was really glad to have avoided him.

About two hours later I was lying down, sort of half asleep with my bedroom television set on.       It was now dark outside.  Suddenly, there it was again...the sound of someone ringing the bell and banging on the front door.  In sort of a tired, annoyed, and foggy state, I staggered down the stairs and opened up the door.  There was the same young guy I’d seen talking to my neighbor.  I noticed he was wearing a “Verizon” badge.  The guy was no more than thirty, IF that.  He was talking a mile a minute.  The subject was Verizon FiOS.  It seems Verizon FiOS is coming down my street in January and the young man strongly implied that all my neighbors are signing up. 

“You’re the last house!” he announced. 

He seemed alternately pleased that I currently have regular Verizon telephone service and dismayed (more like incredulous) that I have AOL dial-up for internet.  (Well, the demographic for AOL dial-up is very non-technically inclined people over the age of 50, so I certainly fit the bill.)  The young man continued talking excitedly through the screen door.  I was becoming more and more annoyed at the cold air coming into the house, but I was not about to invite this guy in.  My wife was sitting in the living room, my grown kids were upstairs, and we had Christmas gifts and “stuff” strewn about. The gist of his spiel was that the street is being hooked up for Verizon FiOS in January; that  “everything is going digital”; that Verizon wants everything regarding FiOS done before 2009;  and that I need to jump on board now, if not yesterday.  He also threw in the part about getting a new $400 High Definition television set just for signing up.

With the exception of our church volunteer secretary Claire, nobody hates being confronted by a “foot in the door” salesman worse than I do.  I could feel myself getting perturbed.   The next thing I knew, he commented about my “Rev.” title, and literally started talking religion and even sharing some personal problems which would require counseling.  No kidding.  Well, when someone’s “talking religion” and flattering you for being a minister while they babble about you needing to sign right up for Verizon FiOS, that just plain puts you in a tough and uncomfortable position.

As the Verizon salesman talked, inwardly I debated whether my wife was  awake or not and whether it would be rude to yell for her or drag her to the door.  We currently have Comcast digital and a 27-inch “regular” T.V.  My son has everything hooked up just the way he likes it, and since I’m nontechnical, that’s just fine with me.  I wondered if Jon would appreciate me switching to Verizon FiOS, and I doubted he would.  I wondered if I could get FiOS for internet and phone but not television.  I had a bunch of questions, BUT I was also tired, cold, confused, and just wanting to make this guy go away!

The next thing I knew I was signing and initialing a work order having agreed to a Saturday, January 12 installation appointment.  The moment I closed the door and walked into my living room, I felt more stupid and embarrassed than I have in a long time.  When I explained what had just happened to my incredulous family, I felt even more stupid and even more embarrassed and angry and ashamed.  I felt like an 83-year-old who had just spoken to a door-to-door life insurance salesman and signed up for $10,000 worth of life insurance at $750 a month for the rest of his life!

I don’t mean to sound like I’m putting down Verizon.  I am a Verizon stockholder and I have Verizon for cell phone service as well as home and church telephone service.  I’ve also enjoyed Verizon service and I always speak well of Verizon.

What I hate is this:  I want Verizon FiOS.  And I don’t want it.  I want high definition television.  And I don’t want it.  I sort of like Comcast cable.  And I sort of don’t like it.  I want to do the right thing.  And I DON’T KNOW what the right thing to do is!  I DO know I certainly don’t want to be given any more  unexpected cold turkey presentations in which I have to make an instant decision about ANY product!

My wife is frankly much more business-oriented than am I, and she is our church’s Treasurer.  She is going to call Verizon.  It’s possible we’ll get Verizon FiOS for telephone and internet but not television.  If that sounds like a financially foolish expenditure out of my pocket, keep in mind the church pays my phone bill and it’s a parsonage I live in.  As a family, we spent some time late in the day on Christmas Day talking the whole Verizon FiOS thing out.  My wife really wants to get the Verizon television.  My son and daughter really don’t want to.  I’m split on it.  At least we do have a few days to think about it and learn more about it.

I’m a VERY sensitive guy.  Too sensitive.  I hate feeling like I’ve been “had” and manipulated.  That’s exactly how I felt about what happened on Monday.  I know this will sound terrible to some of you, but this whole experience kind of spoiled my Christmas eve and even my Christmas morning. 

Receiving some nice Christmas presents and eating a nice Christmas dinner calmed me down - somewhat.

BUT...

I don’t like surprises and I don’t like to be pressured to make changes.
High pressure appointments on your doorstep at 5 p.m. on Christmas Eve when you’re trying to think about a Christmas Eve service and the birth of Jesus and holiday and family obligations and a million other things; well, if there had been a Verizon FiOS high definition picture of my face on Monday at 6 p.m. I would have looked like that Native American weeping on the anti-litter public service ads back in the late 1960s...

Sales?  There’s just GOT to be a better and less tacky way to do things...

THANK YOU, MO LAUZIER!

It was such a blessing to hear Jerry Williams' recitation of Dylan Thomas' "A Child's Christmas in Wales" on Boston's WRKO radio this morning.  For me, hearing Jerry read that live on the air every year was something that made each December special. It's remarkable that Jerry used to read that LIVE and FLAWLESSLY.  Jerry Williams was an extraordinarily talented man.  I guess "he never had a dinner" to paraphrase his regular complaint, but he did leave quite a legacy.  Thank you to WRKO's Mo Lauzier for playing that and for Bill Smith for producing that! 

Merry Christmas!

FULL OF NEW WHINES?

“Others mocking said, These men are full of new wine.” (Acts 2:13)

That verse is about the Day of Pentecost and there’s much I could write about it.  Today’s title, however, is just a silly “take off” on it, as I say, “They are full of NEW WHINES!”.

This is just a pet peeve I have.  It really bothers me when people whine. 

It’s bad enough when a child of three or four whines!  You know, that annoying, emotional, manipulative, drawn out, “But I wanna go to the zooooooooo......!” followed by crying and (often) kicking and screaming.  As bad as that is, well, it’s CHILDISH behavior and there are ways to handle it.  But when someone over 30 whines, it’s, well, I’m actually at a loss for words about it...

You can probably guess, and YES, in the past twenty-four hours I had to deal with a whining adult.  For anyone who’s trying to guess who the whiner was, I need to make it clear, you won’t be able to.  It’s NOT someone from the church i pastor.  It’s NOT a relative of mine.  It’s also NOT someone who lives in Massachusetts.  And, I’ll tell you it was over the phone.  Now, that WAS unpleasant, but had the person been right there in person it would have been MUCH worse, so I guess I can be thankful it was over the phone.

I sell automotive collectibles.  It was someone whining about the mail order of automotive collectibles I’d recently filled.  I think I would rather have listened to a 5-year-old whine that they wanted a chocolate ice cream cone, not a vanilla.  The one thing I hate about selling automotive collectibles is that at least half of those who buy them whine that they got a lousy deal, or they should have gotten more for their money, or I gave a friend of theirs a better deal....something like that.  They really should read the parable of The Laborers in the Vineyard in Matthew’s Gospel because among other thing that parable teaches is Jesus wasn’t crazy about whiners, either!

Have you ever traveled to a Third World Country?  I have.  Haiti.  Twice.  Listen, we have SO much stuff in this country, it’s almost sickening.  While two-thirds of the people on this planet go to bed hungry every night in their shacks, we complain because we paid $20 more than we should have or some other such silly thing.

I love the spiritual side of Christmas.  I went Christmas caroling with several other people a couple of times this week and I really enjoyed that.  I will enjoy our church’s Christmas Eve service on Monday night.  But all the materialism, and the cutthroats at the shopping centers (I won’t even go to Natick Collection!  Framingham Shoppers World is the closest thing to a “mall” I’ve been to this December), well, I can take very little of that.

I’m about to start WHINING, myself, so I’ll stop!

THE ROMNEY RELIGION?

“Woe unto you, when all men shall speak well of you!  for so did their fathers to the false prophets.” (Luke 6:26)

I know the title of this piece strongly implies that I’m going to write about Mormonism; but I’m not.  I don’t think I know enough about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day saints to write about it and its teachings.  The “Romney Religion” I want to write about is the “religious” devotion that Boston talk show host Jay Severin has for Mitt Romney.  Now, please don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying Jay believes Mitt is his Messiah who will take him to Heaven one day...I’m using “religion” more in the sense of the late 1960s Rolaids commercial where a blue collar guy confidently affirmed to the camera, “I take Rolaids RELIGIOUSLY!”

Jay Severin IS a very intelligent guy and a captivating guy to listen to. I think he more than anyone else built Boston’s FM Talk station WTKK from being a tiny upstart in 1999 that a number of media critics thought would never make it, to being one of the 3 or 4 most important and influential radio stations in the Boston market.  Jay is like the old nursery rhyme about the girl with the curl in the middle of her forehead.  When Jay is good he is VERY VERY GOOD, and when Jay is bad he is HORRID.  Yesterday was Jay Severin’s last day before Christmas vacation.  I do wish him a good vacation.  I THINK he is going to Iceland.  But after yesterday I’m saying, “Enough ALREADY!”...at least “enough for awhile”. 

Listen to someone talk incessantly about how much they LOVE someone or how much they HATE someone day after day after day after day.... well, it just gets OLD.  Jay Severin LOVES Mitt Romney.   He loves him.  Jay believes Mitt Romney would be one of the greatest Presidents we’ve ever had...certainly the greatest of the past fifty years.  He calls Romney, “Mount Rushmorian”.  Conversely, Jay makes John McCain sound like a sappy but slick used car salesman who’s shaking your hand  and giving you a free cup of coffee while he’s sticking you with a  lemon.  Yesterday several callers tried to “call” Jay on this stuff, and he gave all short shrift.  One man was cut off and verbally ripped to shreds AFTER he was knocked off the air.  Boy, Jay, that took a lot of guts...NOT!

As a wrote a few postings ago, I really regret that the MetroWest Daily News ran a photo of me saying, “I studied the issues and I chose Romney”.  Well, I did.  In 2002; when Romney ran for Governor.  And, speaking of religion, no I don’t think Romney’s religion should have anything to do (either way) with whether he becomes President.  I know it’s said that clergy should not endorse candidates.  It’s something I really try not to do.  But I just can’t hide the fact that I’m voting for John McCain in the Massachusetts Republican primary. Callers tried to tell Jay Severin McCain is much more ejectable than is Mitt Romney.  Jay does not want to hear that, but it’s true.  The President is the president of ALL Americans.  To get elected, a person HAS to know how to appeal to and draw in all Americans.  In 1964, the hard-line right winger Barry Goldwater did NOT know how to do that and he was crushed by Lyndon Johnson.  In 1972., the hard-line left winger George McGovern did NOT know how to do that and he was crushed by (of all people) Richard Nixon.  Now, it’s true Ronald Reagan was a pretty hard-line conservative Republican.  But Reagan knew how to appeal to all kinds of people and Reagan had been a very popular Governor of California. 

Could Mitt Romney have beaten Deval Patrick last time?  I don’t think so.  Mitt looks like a 60-year-old “Ken” doll.  Mitt looks like he came right out of central casting to play the role of President of the U.S.   Now, I realize Ronald Reagan WAS a professional actor, but he came across as much more sincere and credible than Romney does.

If Romney is the Republican nominee I will vote for him for President in November of 2008.  Romney would be an “O.K.” president.  Admittedly, he would be a much better president than is George W. Bush.   Why do I think Romney would be just an “O.K.” president.  Well, let’s see, he was an “O.K.” Governor of Massachusetts- just O.K., so why should I expect his presidency to be any different?

Incidentally, in 2000,. Jay Severin was as much in love with John McCain as he now is with Mitt Romney.   I remember long and intense monologues singing McCain’s praises and I think I even remember him saying that McCAIN would be a “Mount Rushmore” level president. 

What happened?

PRACTICAL TIPS

“And pray ye that your flight be not in the winter.”  (Mark 13:18)

In my last posting I mentioned that I’m not a “snow person”.  I’m not, but since I’ve always lived in a place that gets cold and snowy in the winter (Massachusetts and Missouri) I’ve had to learn to adapt to it. 

Sunday WAS a tough day, although it certainly could have been a lot worse.  I had pretty much made up my mind by 4 p.m. on Saturday that church would be canceled.  Thus, it was with no great shock that when I got up at 4:30 on Sunday morning, almost an inch of snow had fallen and it was snowing steadily.  The weather forecast for Sunday which The Weather Channel was putting forth could be summed up as “gloom ‘n doom”.  At 5 a.m. I put out my official e-mail canceling church and between 6 and 8 a.m. I pretty much called everybody who needed to be called.

(Incidentally, being the RADICAL and ECCENTRIC guy that I am, I didn’t really CANCEL the service...as in baseball I just kind of “rain checked” it.   What would have been the Sunday morning service will take place on Wednesday night at 7:00.  Visitors are welcome, and in fact encouraged to attend!)

Along with my son, I shoveled at least 3 times at home, and we went over to the church and helped shovel out the walkways there, as well.  The weather ran the gamut from fluffy snow in the early morning to rain in the late afternoon, to bitter cold and strong winds after Midnight.

On Monday morning it was hard to believe it was raining and around 40 degrees just a few hours earlier, for everything was as frozen as I imagine northern Siberia to be!  I tried to get into my 1989 Volkswagen Golf and the doors were frozen shut.  This necessitated the use of a long extension cord and a hair dryer.  I called this piece “Practical Tips” and this is one of them.  Simply running the hair dryer over the edges of the door and over the door handle areas for a couple of minutes enabled me to get into the car.  The next event, however, was more frustrating than the frozen doors were.  I just could not get the car started.  The engine would “turn over and die” and again “turn over and die”.  I realized the car’s gas line was frozen!  I tried to walk up Harrison St. to the Exxon gas station and the snow banks around the barricades (you’d HAVE to know Harrison St. to appreciate this...it’s kind of like Berlin before 1989) were so high I could not walk through!  After an embarrassing phone call to my wife, she brought me her Dodge Caravan and I went out and bought some gas line antifreeze.  This is NOT to be confused with the antifreeze you put in your radiator!  It comes in little plastic bottles.  Years ago, it was called “dry gas”. If you don’t know what gas line antifreeze is, ask at your local auto parts store or gas station...most carry the stuff.  At first, I was disappointed because pouring it into the gas tank did not yield any results.  But, after a few hours, the Volkswagen started and ran normally My late father used to swear by gas line antifreeze.  In the winter, it’s a good idea to put a bottle full in every time you fill up with gasoline.  It will prevent the kind of thing that happened to me yesterday.

Well, I’m tired and I’m sore and I’m not ready for Christmas.... maybe somebody has some practical tips for ME!

TREASURES OF THE SNOW?

"Hast thou entered into the treasures of the snow?  or hast thou seen the treasures of the hail" (Job 38:22)

I'm not a big "snow person".

Well, actually, my life experiences with snow have "run the gamut" as they say. As a little kid growing up in New England, I loved playing in the snow.  I loved when school was called off because of snowstorms.  As a teenager who had to do a lot of snow shoveling, I wasn't so excited about it.  As an adult I've hated driving in the snow, and even though I'm a native New Englander, I've really never got used to driving in the snow and I just plain don't like it.

Thursday was quite a day.  At one small doctors' office just off downtown Framingham, a construction crew was building an outdoor deck.  I'm serious.  Even more ironic: our lawn service company did the final fertilizer application of the season, and left one of those little "fertilizer application" pennants plunked into the front lawn.

I don't know how the decking crew did, but I'd say they probably had to knock off by 1:30.  Even a white-collar type guy like me knows they were at least one month late in attempting to build a deck before winter weather!  Friday morning the little lawn company pennant was sticking up above the snow.  We took a couple of pictures of it!

I am very fortunate to live only a mile and a half from my office.  I went home at Noon and did not go back to the office.  I did take a walk to the bank and library downtown.  I was amazed that the cars on Concord St/Rte. 126 were moving at no more than an ant's pace.  I was doing much better on foot!  I was kind of "bummed" that the library closed 5 minutes after I got there, at 2 p.m.!

This weekend is going to be a spiritual challenge for me, because like 98% of Protestant Pastors, I hate Sunday morning snowstorms!  This may sound very mercenary, but you'd THINK people would give double in the offering the following week, but it usually doesn't happen.  (Well, in all fairness, some people DO give double the following week, but financially Sunday snowstorms are really bad for churches.)  I guess I need to remember Romans 8:28.  (Nope, I'm not gonna quote it.  I will let you look it up.)  And I guess I've just got to remember that this is Massachusetts and this is December.  Merry Christmas!

KEN'S REQUEST

This past Sunday after our morning worship service, 82-year-old Ken Lavers was ecstatic.  He was more happy and more enthusiastic than perhaps I've ever seen him.

Ken was adamant that the sermon I had given from Luke chapter 1 (focus on Mary...Advent theme) entitled 'A VERY SPECIAL MESSAGE', was exactly that.  Ken was emphatic that I needed to write it down and have it published in the newspaper!  He was insistent!

Well, actually the local newspaper DOES occasionally publish sermons but usually they're part of a monthly seriws in which it's prearranged for local clergy to submit something.  (I've done so a few times in the past.)  Since I'm not scheduled to write that column for Dec. 2007, I did not think it would be appropriate for me to write out a condensed version of the sermon and submit it to the paper.

I DID GIVE IT SOME THOUGHT AFTERWARDS, THOUGH.

In the spirit of PROVERBS 27:2 "Let another man praise you, not your own mouth, a stranger and not your own lips" I realized that since this was KEN'S request and desire, it might not be a bad idea for mt to offer it on-line to those who know me. What I HAVE decided to do is this:  If you'd like a copy of  'A VERY SPECIAL MESSAGE' just e-mail me at revrbaril@aol.com and request it, and I will e-mail it off to you.

You'll make Ken happy.  You'll make me happy.  And it might bless you at this Christmas season!