Monday, February 23, 2009

I MAY GET IN A LOT OF TROUBLE FOR THIS ONE!

I TRULY MAY GET IN A LOT OF TROUBLE FOR THIS ONE!

So, I'm starting it with a disclaimer. I realize there's a link from our church website to this blog. But all postings here (and particularly this one) are the thoughts and opinions of Bob Baril as a private individual, and do not necessarily reflect the official positions and practices of First Assembly of God of Framingham, nor of the Assemblies of God, nor of any other person or entity.

You've been warned!

If at any time in the reading of this posting you become offended, please just stop reading and leave the site. I really don't want to read a bunch of unnecessary e-mails or receive a bunch of unnecessary phone calls.

Thank you.

"Let brotherly love continue." (Hebrews 13:1)

Today I received the latest in a series of unexpected mailings. I feel free to write about this one because the sender does not own a computer and never goes on-line. The sender is a very nice and well-meaning person. I opened up the letter to find a $500 check made out to either me or my wife. The letter instructed me that the money is specifically designated for me to take a trip to New York City to visit a certain church and be ministered to. The sender highly prefers that my wife and I EACH go, but that if I insist upon going by myself, that will be O.K.

Now what do I do?

I don't really have much of an inclination to go to New York City and visit this church, and with her schedule and activities, my wife really CAN'T go.

Do I sent it back and insult the person? Do I just let it sit and not cash it and insult the person? Do I cash it and use it for something else? You don't know how much I WANT to do that, but I'm not going to as that would certainly insult and anger the person. I will probably write a pleasant note and send it back.

This makes me think of a Christmas season of about fifteen years ago. A financially successful and generous couple showed up unexpectedly at our home one December evening bringing some large boxes. The boxes contained a brand new computer. We'd never owned a home computer at that time, so it kind of WAS a big deal. In fact, my wife was praying at the time that someone would give us a USED computer. That particular evening, I owed several hundred dollars worth of bills that I couldn't pay. The creditors were constantly phoning. Buying food was a real stretch. I wasn't going to be able to buy any Christmas presents. I was what you'd call TOTALLY STRESSED OUT. I sat there looking at the brand new computer being set up and I was just numb. I know this is probably wrong, but I remember thinking, "It's not going to pay any bills," "It's not going to buy any food," and "It's not going to buy any Christmas presents."

The wife of that couple got really angry with me because I wrote them a thank you note on looseleaf notebook paper. She thought such an expensive gift warranted a thank you letter sent on nice stationary. Well, I didn't happen to own any nice stationary, and I'm sure just the postage stamp was a challenge.

Well, YES, that started us on computers at home, and I'm writing this on our THIRD computer that we bought last summer.

I think of my friend James Rayburn. He now pastors an Assemblies of God church in Georgia. We went to Central Bible College in Missouri together. Over thirty years ago, his wife gave birth to twins prematurely. Their survival was "touch & go" for awhile, but after a couple of months, they were home. People would give James gifts but with strings attached. "Use this check for you and Debbie to get a babysitter and go out to eat", the card might say. But James needed to buy diapers and food. He got so many designated gifts like that, and he started to get really irritated about it.

I called this "I MAY GET IN A LOT OF TROUBLE FOR THIS ONE!" because I get irritated by such gifts, too. I have a policy of not giving designated gifts and not giving "with strings attached". Here's a HINT: If you REALLY want to give a designated gift, like money to buy groceries, for instance, then give a Stop & Shop gift card. If you really want somebody to buy clothes, then give them a clothing store gift certificate. But as far as cash and checks, I just don't give with strings attached. It may be well-meaning, but it can open the door for a lot of problems.

I remember when a famous evangelist promoted a trip to Israel using the photo and name of a pastor I knew. He told he pastor, "I'm using your photo and name, but when the people sign up for the trip, YOU will get a FREE trip to Israel with us!" The pastor was not happy. He did not want to take that trip to Israel. He had not suggested it or authorized it or anything, and he didn't go. That whole situation was frankly very manipulative on the part of the famous evangelist. (Incidentally, NO the famous evangelist was NOT Billy Graham!)

So, to quote that very pastor, after reading this one, "If you still love me, say AMEN!" and if you don't say, "Oh, me!"

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