"HI NEIGHBOR!"

"But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus And who is my neighbour" (Luke 10:29)

The title of this post is taken from an old beer commercial that ran in New England during the 1960s.  It was for Narragansett Beer.  Their slogan was, "Hi Neighbor!  Have a 'gansett!"  (Please don't panic, you fellow Assemblies of God friends of mine!  I don't drink alcoholic beverages at all and have not done so in well over forty years.  I just liked the title for this piece!)

Last night around eight o'clock, I went on Facebook and read a very sad post.  It stated that Carrie Havener Mason [who was our next door neighbor for the entire twenty-four years that we lived on Harrison Street in Framingham, Massachusetts] had died.  I don't know her age, but she was a lot younger than I am.  Carrie had been battling cancer for several years.  I met Carrie, her sister Tabitha, and her mother Pam on the day we moved in at 40 Harrison Street in early January 1987.  Her death has hit me rather hard.  And, I've been thinking about that.  Were I to name the twenty-five most important people in my life, Carrie and her husband Andy would not be on that list.  Were I to name my twenty-five closest friends, Carrie and her husband Andy would not be on that list.  Were I to name the twenty-five people who have had the greatest impact on my life, Carrie and her husband Andy would not be on that list.  But it reminds me of how I felt when I learned in 1997 at my class reunion of the murder of "Katy" a classmate in our Canton High class of 1972. 

She'd been murdered by a deranged ex-boyfriend.  I was so devastated that it took many weeks to get over that news.  And, I had not been close to Katy.  She was never a girlfriend, or a close friend, or anything other than a distant acquaintance with whom I'd shared a few classes.  But the thing was, Katy was absolutely the nicest and most likable kid in our graduating class.  Her Step-Dad was a very popular English teacher in the school.  She was genuine, and vulnerable, and just such a great person.  That's why I took her death so hard.  It was so unfair and so wrong.

Carrie Havener Mason was just as nice and just as likable and just as genuine as Katy was.  I remember that from the moment I met her, she'd made a very powerful impression on me.  I posted on Facebook that she was both ordinary and extraordinary.  I'm very paradoxical.  I'm a very good public speaker.  I've spoken at a Moth Main Stage Theater Event, and had that talk broadcast on The Moth Radio Hour.  I'm always available to preach or teach and I love it!  But I'm also quite an introvert.  When I'm at a public event like The Moth  I love mingling among the crowd as a little celebrity.  But when I get home, I'm very private.  I want to watch television, read, and largely be left alone.  I know introverted Christians tend to be criticized for not knowing their neighbors.  No kidding, one time we had a guest speaker to dinner at our home.  He asked me about the neighbors on the opposite side of our house (from where the Masons lived) because he'd admired their German Shepherd dog.  When I told him I didn't know them, he really "let me have it" for not knowing my neighbors!  The bottom line is, I don't tend to be a big "mingle with the neighbors" person, but Pam, Carrie, and Tabitha coming over and welcoming the Barils on our very first day in the house, and introducing us to Mr. Needleman, the elderly Jewish man directly across the street, kind of cut into that "comfort zone" of mine.

During the first few years on Harrison Street we'd say superficial "hellos" and "goodbyes" to the Haveners and Carrie's boyfriend Andy Mason, but we weren't really close.  In the early 1990s, Carrie and Andy got married, and they lived right there at Carrie's house.  It was a two-family, so they lived in one apartment and Pam and Tabitha had the other.  Their first child was a bubbly and extroverted little girl named Danika.  It was Danika who really brought our families closer together.  When Danika was around four or five, she got the idea that she wanted to come to our house and have supper with us every night.  And she did exactly that!  She was so cute and so friendly and so adorable that we honestly liked having her over.  Andy and Carrie were very apologetic and embarrassed at first, but we told them we liked having Dankia over, and that if it was O.K. with them, it was O.K. with us.  I think Danika at supper time kind of served the role as a "little sister" for my girls and they loved that.  I don't know how long those "Danika suppers" went on but it was quite awhile.  We just found ourselves talking to Andy and Carrie a lot more and feeling closer to them.  During those years, Mary Ann's friend Suzanne and her daughter Erika used to come and visit us quite a bit and over time, Suzanne became friends with the Masons, as well.

It wasn't like we were friends like the Mertzes and Ricardos on television.  It was nothing like that.  Sometimes a week or more would go by with no more than a quick wave or a quick "hello" or "goodbye" with the Masons.  But at other times, it might be, "Too bad the Red Sox lost that game," or "Why are they messing up Concord Street?"  or "When is Framingham going to elect some decent politicians?"  Andy is what I'd call a "secular Jew".  He's Jewish, but not practicing.  He believes in God, but just doesn't usually get real excited about spiritual matters.  At times, he'd surprise me and we'd have some sort of religious or ethical discussion.  Those conversations were not often; perhaps once every year or two.  I think Carrie and her kids went to one of the Protestant churches in Framingham, but we never discussed it.  I will add that one time Sherry Gurney, who'd been the wife of the minister who preceded me as pastor of First Assembly of God of Framingham told me they'd done a children's outreach to the local area when Carrie was a little kid and that on a day in the back yard of 40 Harrison Street, Carrie had prayed to receive Jesus Christ as her Personal Lord and Savior.

Carrie was a school bus driver.  She and her whole family loved the Red Sox.  She was a very caring person.  I remember that one night, the elderly man Mr. Needleman had been taken seriously ill. Several of us neighbors were out on the sidewalk taking the whole thing in, and she was particularly concerned, hoping Mr. Needleman's son Stewie had been notified. The Masons also loved animals.  They'd had rabbits and even a ferret at one time!  My daughter Amy was remarking last night that she loved when Carrie and Tabitha would "sneak them over the fence to see the bunnies" when they were very small children.  I recently watched a classic episode of Leave it to Beaver in which Beaver wrote a composition for school about his father.  It was a real tear-jerker.  He wrote that his father was not famous, and had not accomplished anything impressive.  But he added that he brought him ice cream when he was sick and he liked to let Beaver help him with various chores and he liked to play with Beaver.  His closing like was something like, "You may not consider him great, but he's my father and he's great to me".  There will never be a statue to Carrie Havener Mason built in Framingham, nor will any building or bridge be named after her.  She probably won't even merit a footnote if somebody writes a history of Framingham from 1975 through the 2010s.  But my feeling about her is similar to Beaver's feeling about his father, and to how I felt about my classmate Katy.  Carrie Havener Mason was a great person and a great neighbor. 

My heartfelt condolences go out to Andy and their children, and all of their family and friends.