"For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again which be the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat." (Hebrews 5:12)
Today is Tammy's "Memorial Service" in Framingham. Tammy died in mid-July. It's a long story but I'm going to attempt to tell that story here.
(I'm at my sister's in Canton. It's about twenty-three miles to Tammy's service. I had every intention of attending today. But the weather forecast is calling for torrential rain and possible flooding. The forecast has actually improved from what the weather folks were saying last night. Last night it was "Four inches of torrential rain and flooding". This morning it's "Two inches of torrential rain and slight chance of flooding". My 2001 Toyota takes in water any time it rains! And I've driven the car through flood waters twice in the past three years. Regretfully, I "chickened out" and decided to stay here.)
Every pastor has a few "Tammys". The "Tammys" take up eighty percent of their ministry time, and the average church people get the remaining twenty percent of the pastor's time. Tammy wasn't a bad person. In fact, there's a lot about Tammy that was likable. Some might call her a "tragic figure". Some might call her "an enigma".
Our church moved around between several locations during the twenty-three years I was the pastor. In 1994 we purchased a building at 32 South Street Framingham. On the "moving in" weekend in late October that year a couple of young girls in the congregation told me they'd met an excited young woman named Tammy walking by. The said she'd asked "Is this going to be a Pentecostal church?" When Tammy was told "Yes" she was quite excited.
Tammy lived in a housing complex for elderly and disabled folks just around the corner from the church building. Sometime during the autumn of 1994 I met her on one of her walks by the church property. She was attending a fairly large church (for New England) in a nearby community. Their church van picked her up early every Sunday morning. I think it was in 1997 that Tammy decided she'd rather try attending our church since it was only a five minute walk away. Tammy soon became a Member. She attended the church right up to its closing in March 2010.
Yes, Tammy was an enigma. She'd lived in a group home in her late teens and early twenties. The van from a large mainstream evangelical church picked her up for church in those days. She'd been placed in a Sunday School Class for "Special Needs" adults. Tammy told me the "R" word was often used to describe her. Honestly, she had some disabilities (she was diabetic, for instance) and she was emotionally unstable, but I wouldn't have used the "R" word to describe her.
Tammy would talk about "my so-called family" and "my sister, Tammy". Yeah, it got confusing! One time I asked Tammy about this. Where did she grow up? Who was her family? How many siblings did she have? Wow. I was pretty surprised at the responses. Tammy grew up just outside Worcester, MA. She was a baby left in a basket at a doorstep! I didn't think that happened anymore. I guess there was a note left with her. Tammy had a French last name, but it was her adopted name. Her original first name was "Brenda" and she had a Polish birth name. She had an (adoptive) brother who lived in Texas. One of her adoptive parents died. The surviving parent remarried. The family of the person who'd been the second spouse of one of her adoptive parents was Tammy's "so-called family". Her "sister, Tammy" was part of that family. I'd say Tammy read and understood on an average fifth-grade level, but she was a high school graduate! In fact, she attended a vocational, technical high school. Like so many, she was "socially promoted" through the grades. I'm not sure what her "trade" was but I think it was "culinary". Tammy had worked at a department store for awhile before I knew her. She just couldn't cope with having a job. Frankly, I can't imagine that Tammy would ever have handled having a boss very well! She was on "Disability", and had all the benefits of being on "Disability". She did have to be reevaluated regarding housing and benefits every year. She hated that!
Tammy called me all the time when I was her pastor! She would break down emotionally about the most unimportant and insignificant things. She took everything that happened in her life very personally. I will say she was usually pretty faithful about attendance. She seldom missed Adult Sunday School or Sunday Morning Service or Midweek Prayer Meeting. And when I sometimes offered a Friday night Bible Study, she'd rarely miss that. She took in a lot of information! But she never changed. Not really. The Tammy who came into the church in the late 1990s was the same one who was there in March of 2010. If I had to state how much she'd grown and developed spiritually over those many years, I'd have to answer "Not at all!" That's why I opened with Hebrews 5:12. As a pastor I wonder about that. I once told Tammy at a Friday night Bible Study, "If you'd really get into God's Word and really be led by the Holy Spirit and really pray and really get serious with God, ten years from now you could be teaching a Bible Study for the disabled!" And I meant it. But that never happened.
I last saw Tammy one week before she died. I went to the rehabilitation center where she'd been for several weeks. I didn't know they were about to take her off-site for a dialysis treatment. So, I only had five minutes with Tammy. She always called me "Pastor Bob" and that's how she addressed me. She was very happy to see me. It was a nice, albeit way too short visit.
After she passed I wondered if there was a favorite Christian worship song she'd had. And there was. It was "Light the Fire Again" which was a popular worship song from the 1990s first sung in Vineyard churches. Once she told me that a line in that song really got to her! The line was: "I Need Your Discipline". She knew she needed a much more disciplined Christian life. But, again, she didn't progress as a Believer.
A couple weeks ago, I was driving along Route 27 in Medfield, MA and listening to an oldies station on the radio. A song from either the forties or the fifties came on. The song: "Tammy's In Love". I thought of this Tammy. First, honestly, I started laughing. Then after a minute or so, I felt like crying.
The important thing is Tammy knew Jesus. Tammy loved Jesus. Jesus loved Tammy. Tammy's in Heaven. Yes, that's what's important.
