AM I A GOOD JUGGLER?

"See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, Redeeming the time, because the days are evil." (Ephesians 5:15-16)

I know that anyone who is a Greek scholar, (and truthfully I never got beyond first-year Greek, and it was all Greek to me!) will point out that the work for "time" in the above passage is "kairos", meaning the age, such as, "Baby Ruth was a good player in his time".  It's not "chronos" which means "tick-tick-tick" just like on the CBS program "60 Minutes".  Well, since there is such a thing as "poet's license", you can consider that I'm using "PASTOR'S license" here, and I'm using that passage as if it were talking about "chronos".

At the age of twenty-one, I would never have believed how responsible, serious, and overwhelmed I can feel as a fifty-one year old.  I seldom felt that way at twenty-one!  At twenty-one, if I just frittered away a whole day or even a whole week listening to rock music or watching comedy movies, or doing something even less practical or responsible, well, WHO CARED?!  Certainly not me!  Boy, it sure isn't like that now.  My father was a perfectionist.  Everything HAD to be just so.  He was also a workaholic.  Even my mother used to say, "When he was a young man, he was so much fun, but now he doesn't care about fun- he's SO serious!"  I would never have believed that in some respects I'd follow in his footsteps.  I make lists and set goals, and I DRIVE myself, but I seldom achieve all or most of them.  Now, for you fellow Born-Again Christians, I know all the Bible verses about this problem, and I'm not saying I'm right; I know in many ways I'm NOT right, but I'm just venting and trying to come to terms with it.  There was a juggler on that new NBC talent show recently.  Some of the times that he juggled, he did pretty well, and some he didn't.  I guess that's a lot like me with life.

At this point, I feel like "talking like Andy Rooney"- that is with that curmudgeonly voice of his, so imagine you're hearing this next part in his voice:  I marvel when I meet someone, say a fellow pastor who has a spotless office, a spotless automobile, sharp clothing, great grooming, and who is very relaxed saying something like, "Do you golf?".  I want to hit a guy like that with a golf ball!  I'll work like a fanatic to clean my office, and my cars, and my clothing, and to keep up my schedule, and instead of golf, I need a big Dunkin' Donuts coffee or I'll fall asleep.  And, it's not just pastors. When it comes to that "all together" stuff, some people have it and some don't.  If you happen to know the secret of "it" let me know!

(You can "turn off" the Andy Rooney imaginary voice now!)  I hope you don't think I'm really depressed right now.  I'm not.  Honestly, at times I've struggled with depression, (and you might be shocked to learn how many evangelical pastors struggle with depression) although right now I'm not depressed;  I'm just tired and in a very reflective mood.  I know the mood category for the entry says, "anxious"...I'm more "reflective" than "anxious" but they don't have "reflective" for a category!

Incidentally, I originally set a goal to post something on this blog every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.  This week I got that ALL messed up, and with my personality that bothers me a little bit, but I'll get back on track.

I'm teaching a Bible study tonight.  I'm getting a haircut first thing in the morning.  I have an unusually busy Sunday because I have a Sunday night service this weekend and I'm going to a car show as a vendor in the afternoon.  I know readers may be falling asleep right now, but I just kind of had to sit and write what I was feeling.

Don't get me wrong because I'm a very good Bible teacher and I really enjoy being a minister- but (as if you can't already tell if you read this blog regularly) for years I've had a secret desire to be either a radio talk show host or a newspaper columnist or both.  Is it just my ego?  Maybe.  But sometimes this blog is the next best thing.

Did I answer the question?  Am I a good juggler?