RULES OF THE SUPERMARKET

“Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them:  for this is the law and the prophets.”  (Matthew 7:12)

I’m not usually one of those “soap box” type preachers who just starts waving his Bible in the middle of a crowded bus station or (in this case) supermarket, yelling “Repent, you’ve got to get saved,” or something like that.  I came VERY close today!  Had I given the sermon, my text would have been the above verse.  There are rules of the supermarket.  Specifically, there is proper supermarket etiquette.  That’s what my sermon would have been about, had I given it!

I enjoyed the Natick, MA Fourth of July parade this morning.  I guess I’m a bit hypocritical, because I really don’t think supermarkets should be open on a major holiday, but (honestly) I needed a few things, so around Noon I went to the Stop & Shop at Old Connecticut Path in Framingham.  I picked up my few items and headed for the checkout area.  There did not appear to be any express lines open, so I got into a line which didn’t seem too crowded.

In front of me was a young woman no older than thirty who had a few items placed on the conveyer belt.  To my surprise, her husband cut in front of me with a shopping cart FULL of groceries.  It seems this was a trick they used to secure a place in line.  They broke the Bob Baril Rule 1 of supermarkets:  No “Saving Places in the Checkout Line” tricks!  I had just a few items.  I almost said something to them, but I just smiled and “sucked it in”.

“You need to get the bread,” the young woman told her also young husband.  He rushed off and came back a minute later with a loaf.  They even had a discussion about whether this particular type of bread was what they really wanted or not.   By this time, the poor young Asian checkout girl was ready to start ringing up their order.  It was stacked so poorly and so inappropriately and so messy, that there’s no way the checker could easily process the stuff.  She, the checkout girl, had to rearrange it.  They broke another rule:  “Use some common sense and courtesy in stacking your groceries on the conveyer belt”.  The shopper was asked if she’d like to donate a dollar to the Jimmy Fund (for kids with cancer).  She sweetly said she would.  The groceries were all scanned through.  The woman was paying with a credit card.  What else?!

That’s another Bob Baril rule.  “Never pay with a credit card, a debit card, or a check at the supermarket. Never.  Always use cash.”

The shopper and her husband began to happily walk away.

“Oh,” the Asian checkout girl said with perfect Chinese manners, “Didn’t you forget something?”

She did.  She forgot to PAY!  She never “Pressed Yes” and all that other stuff you do to pay with a credit card. She was just going to walk out!

The shopper said something like, “Oh, silly me.”  and did what she needed to do.

If this was ten years ago, I absolutely would have made an angry remark to this insensitive and clueless shopper.  I didn’t.  I honestly stood there quietly singing Christian “Praise and Worship” songs to myself.

You’re going to think I’m making up this next part, but I assure you, I’m not!  After I was checked out and about to walk out of the store, I saw the male half of that insensitive shopping duo come walking back into the store.  He looked angry.  In his hand was the long shopping receipt.  You could easily predict what was coming.  They got charged twice for one can of tuna, or something like that, and he wasn’t going to hear of it!

Boy, did I have to exercise self-discipline on that one?!

Everything in me wanted to grab him and say, “Buddy, you’ve gotta be kidding!  After you and your wife have been completely rude, selfish, and insensitive, you’re going to go bother that poor Asian checkout girl again?!”
I took a deep breath.  I let it go.  I knew I could channel my energy into a great blog entry, and here it is!

Please, when you go to the supermarket:  everything that couple did- do the EXACT OPPOSITE!   The checkout person and the other shoppers will love you for it!

If you’d like a copy of this blog piece, send me an e-mail to RevRBaril@aol.com
Just request “Rules of the Supermarket”.