LETTING GO

“He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.” (Matthew 10:39)

The closest thing Mary Ann and I have ever had to a “new” car is an ALMOST NEW car. It was a 1982 Ford Escort. It had sort of a light tan body with a dark tan-almost brown- roof. The car was a 2-door and was a “hatchback”. We purchased the 1982 Ford Escort in early 1983. We’d looked at a number of cars, and found the Ford Escorts to be in the price range we could consider. I almost bought a brand new 1983 Ford Escort, but we were able to save quite a bit by purchasing a 1982 “demonstrator” from Jack Madden Ford in Norwood. The car had 11, 000 miles on it but had never been sold as a new car. It had been driven by a salesman for a year and was used to give “test drives” to prospective customers. I loved that car. We DID have a serious transmission problem with it, BUT it was under warranty- THANK GOD!

I was really fussy about that car...washing it, cleaning it, etc. By the fall of 1985 we had 2 kids (and we’d have a 3rd a year later!) and the Escort was just plain getting too small for us. Through a friend of Mary Ann’s we bought a 1982 AMC Concord station wagon. That AMC is a topic for another day, but we then put an ad in the local paper offering the Escort for sale. It didn’t take long for a wealthy guy driving a Jaguar and his teenage daughter to show up to buy the Escort. Actually, HE bought the Escort as sort of a toy for his teenage daughter. He peeled out 27 one-hundred dollar bills like they were ONES. A few months later, I saw “my” Escort in a local parking lot. I was SICK! It looked so BEAT UP- obviously not taken care of and not appreciated. I was heartbroken to see it. I almost felt like hanging around and confronting that kid by saying something like, “you don’t DESERVE that car!” but of course, I didn’t!

Letting go. It’s not easy. The house I grew up in over in Canton was built in 1958. It was an “oversized Cape” with an unfinished second floor. My father intended to finish it in his spare time. He died in 2000 and the 2nd floor was still unfinished. That had been quite a point of contention between my parents. There was also the large 2 car garage (separate building) my father’d had built behind the house in 1972. There was all the “stuff” there my sister and I had to clean out. I often tell people I’ve never been a homeowner, but that’s not quite true. For a couple of years after my parents’ deaths, I WAS the co-owner of that house.
I was over there regularly cutting the lawn and doing other things. It’s a long story, but I sold my interest in that house to my sister. Now, it greatly BENEFITTED Mary Ann and I when we sent our kids to college and we were NOT homeowners. But I’ll never forget how I felt after the closing on the Canton property in late 2002. It really bothered me. I had not realized how much that house and property had meant to me. I did NOT want to let it go!

I got a phone call yesterday that shouldn’t have upset me, but it did. It was from a much younger pastor from over 60 miles northwest of Framingham. At first I was very surprised he was calling me. Then I guessed that maybe he was taking a Sunday off and wanted me to do “fill in” preaching for him. I started to feel happy and excited. That’s not what he wanted, however. He wanted to know a good time to come over to our former church building and get all the chairs. I felt like I’d been run over by a bulldozer.

No, I don’t own that building at 32 South Street. And, except for most of the contents of my pastor’s office, I don’t own anything in it. The way it works in the Assemblies of God is that once that church was closed the property and contents became owned by our District (like a Diocese or Archdiocese in some religious bodies) and they can do what they please with such. I understand that LEGALLY. But, emotionally and in other ways, I just don’t understand it. I remember us ordering and buying those chairs. They were purchased through one of many church supply catalogs we received. Initially there was a problem as they shipped the WRONG chairs...the wrong color. After a few phone calls, and dealing with the warehouse, etc, the gray and black “stacking chairs” arrived one day in the early Fall of 1994. I remember that (then) teenager Adam Aguilar and I opened up every cardboard box and unwrapped (the brown paper on) every chair. We had a LOT of trash when we were done! I remember wiping down all the chairs and setting them up- 100 total. It was such a time of happiness and expectancy as we prepared to move into our “new” building. Well, it was new to US, although this former United Auto Workers Union Hall had been built in late 1953 and early 1954.

It doesn’t seem long ago. I know SOMETHING has to be done with those chairs, but when I think of them going, I just want to cry. As it turns out, I can’t be at the building during the time that pastor’s scheduled to get the chairs and I’m glad. I think it would be worse than seeing that 1982 Escort in the parking lot. For that young pastor, he’s facing a time of beginning and expectancy. For me, it’s like the “death” of the church just keeps going on and on and on like that annoying childrens’s song Shari Lewis used to sing, “The Song That Doesn’t End”.

Yes, it all comes back to, putting God first in your life, learning to let go, and learning to trust Him. I’m not going to tell you it’s easy- it’s not. When people ask me how I’m doing I reply, “one day at a time” because that’s what it is...one day at a time.