THE ETERNAL SERMON

“Let all things be done decently and in order,” (I Corinthians 14:40)

There’s an old Three Stooges short featuring a scene with Moe and a wealthy woman sitting on a sofa. Enthusiastically, she tells Moe, “I sense you’ve found the eternal spring!”

Simultaneously, Moe’s hand is digging into one of the cushions and he’s grasping a large, loose spring.

“Lady, I GOT IT!” Moe exclaims.

“What are you going to do with it?” she hopefully asks.

“Get rid of it!” he disgustedly replies as he flings the spring across the room and into Curly’s suit coat!

No, THIS piece is not about the eternal spring, but about the eternal sermon! I was pleasantly surprised and amazed when Pastor Gary at the church I attend mentioned this during his own Sunday morning sermon yesterday. Gary gave a great teaching from First Corinthians chapter fourteen about the proper usage of speaking in tongues, interpretation of tongues, and prophetic utterances in church. (This is a MOST fitting subject for an Assemblies of God church audience.) Assemblies of God pastors sometimes have to deal with congregants who speak out inappropriate things at various times; and who later rationalize, “But GOD TOLD me to do it!” or “I just COULDN’T hold it back! I couldn’t CONTROL MYSELF!” Pastor Gary made it very clear that just because we feel impressed of God to say a particular thing out loud DOESN’T mean it has to be done right then and there! There’s a time and a place for everything. (“AMEN!” to that.)

It’s the next part of the sermon that blew my mind as Pastor Gary touched on one of my pet peeves. I wasn’t raised in the Assemblies of God. Now, I thoroughly believe in and teach the doctrines of the Assemblies of God. But I’ve always had a problem with sermons in our fellowship that go on seemingly forever, in which the speaker will often say something like, “I’m in the Spirit and GOD wants you to hear ALL of this and if you don’t you’re disobedient!” In addition, there are the church services which go on seemingly forever, and the pastor will announce something like, “DON’T leave unless you don’t care about the Holy Spirit and you like being totally out of the will of God!” Along with laity who misuse public utterances, Gary criticized preachers who go on and on and on in their preaching, are are actually in the flesh and out of the will of God when they do so. Again, AMEN, Gary! I remember one such Easter Sunday sermon when I was in Bible College. At the church where I attended in Springfield, Missouri,the guest speaker went on and on, saying “I know you’re late for your dinners, but THIS is more important!” Honestly it wasn’t a particularly good Easter sermon, and this guy should have finished at least twenty minutes earlier than he did. Now, I’m not opposed to long services and long sermons if they’re REALLY “in the Spirit”. At one special service with Hannah Price Richardson from Canada (now deceased) at Christian Life Center in Walpole in the early 1980s, she preached a long sermon and ran a long altar service. Nobody minded. It was joyous, wonderful, and invigorating. I was stunned that when the service ended it was almost 3 p.m. I’d have guessed it was maybe a little after 1. When the Holy Spirit is REALLY moving, no preacher has to manipulate the crowd to make them stay!

Sadly, I have had other bad experiences with long-winded preachers. Several years ago when I was pastoring in Framingham an Assemblies of God pastor I am acquainted with phoned me. He was pastoring in the South, but was traveling to Massachusetts to spend some time with his elderly father. He told me he was looking for speaking engagements to help defray his travel expenses. I booked him for a service. Shortly after he arrived at the church, he asked me about how long he’d have to preach, and I told him, “Plan on about 45 minutes.” Immediately upon stepping into the pulpit, this preacher said, “The pastor says I have 45 minutes for this sermon, BUT I’M GOING TO TAKE AS LONG AS I WANT TO!” I did not hear one word he said after that statement. I was appalled. Now, I was pleasant, and he got his check, but I knew I’d never invite him back. I wish I could tell you that was the only time something like that every happened at our church, but it isn’t. And, I’ve visited other churches and seen speakers manipulate the crowd, and run services for hours on end. One evening my wife and I visited a large church for a special service. After two and a half hours, I walked out to the car and was sitting there listening to the radio. My wife was surprised that I left. I told her I was not angry or anything like that, but that I’d sat through two sermons, a long time of praise and worship, and a bunch of special music. I told her that after two and a half hours, I was done. It was nice, but I was ready to get up and move around and do something else.

The Rev. David Yonggi Cho, pastor of Full Gospel Central Church in Seoul, South Korea (the largest Assemblies of God church in the world) has a real problem with the long services that take places in America. I read in one of his books that he sat through one such service in a fairly large church in the South. Cho is used to running 9 services every Sunday. He sticks to time limits and the people are moved in and out. He believes there is a danger in services being SO long that visitors will tire and think, “Boy I’ll never go back to that church again!” Cho thinks it’s far better for them to be left spiritually hungry and wanting more after a shorter service, for they’re likely to RETURN to other church services!

A few months ago, I was in a group meeting where a retired Assemblies of God pastor was speaking. He told of the Sunday that one of his trustees installed a clock in the church sanctuary. He said he pointed at the clock and yelled, “Get THAT out of here!” There was quite a look of control and dominance as he told that story. Everything in me wanted to say to him, “So in other words, you can’t work within limits and perimeters?”

Maybe I’m skeptical, but in our Pentecostal circles people always talk about great moves of God where “the service ran way overtime” or “the preacher went on for 3 hours”. I’ve often wondered why the Holy Spirit likes services and sermons to run late but never to start early. Frankly, I’m not always so impressed with sermons and services that run on and on, although as I wrote above, as with Hannah Price Richardson that CAN happen. I am still looking for the Assemblies of God service where the people show up over an hour ahead of time; where they’re already praying and crying out to God in the parking lot...where they ask the pastor if he’ll PLEASE start the service early because they want to worship God. (Actually I understand that some things like that DO happen at the Brooklyn Tabernacle in New York, and THAT’S evidence of real revival!)

Does your pastor preach eternal sermons? Maybe you ought to give him or her this piece to read! You can make ME “the bad guy”. Or maybe you’re a pastor like the guy who yelled about the clock, “Get THAT out of here!” or like Reverend “I’m going to speak as long as I want to.” Listen, Billy Graham gives every effective salvation sermons in about twenty minutes! As I recall, the famous Jonathan Edwards’ sermon, “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God,” isn’t all that long...maybe would take thirty minutes to deliver. Pastors, I think you’ll do well to heed Pastor David Yonggi Cho’s advice; AND Pastor Gary C’s advice!