CAN GOSSIP EVER BE OK?

“Alexander the coppersmith did me much evil: the Lord reward him according to his works:” (2 Timothy 4:14)

Yesterday’s San Francisco Chronicle published a story about a recent University of California at Berkeley study which found that gossip can have healthy and therapeutic aspects. This flies in the face of much of what we’ve heard about gossip. There’s no question that gossip usually causes great harm. Typically, gossip contains malicious (and usually untrue) information and is aimed at harming or even destroying a person’s reputation. Yet, the study found that not all gossip is bad. Quoting from the article:

“UC Berkeley psychologists have found that gossiping - specifically spreading information about a person who has behaved badly - can play a critical role in maintaining social order, preventing exploitation and lowering stress.”

The full article can be found on-line at:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2012/01/17/BAAS1MQI6H.DTL

Frankly, there are a LOT of very WRONG ideas about gossip commonly taught in evangelical Christian circles. One time, over twenty years ago, I was attending a meeting of a pastors’ prayer and support group. Someone named something about a woman who I will call “Lucinda” (not her real name). I know Lucinda, and I like Lucinda but she is a character and has some kind of weird characteristics and opinions (such as stating that parts of the Bible are untrue and that sometimes sinful behavior is “OK”).

In my typical Bob Baril entertaining and comical style, after Lucinda was named, I did a very quick impersonation of her. It was not malicious. It was frankly true to character and kind of funny. Immediately I was reprimanded by a Christian counselor who was part of the prayer and support group. I’ll call him “Eddie”. Eddie really let me have it. Eddie said that it is NEVER right or appropriate to discuss a person in ANY way, shape or form without them being present. Eddie said that to speak about a third party with them not present, and especially to do a brief impersonation was absolutely wrong and a bad thing.

When Eddie finished, I felt like I’d been slapped across the face. And I wasn’t the one who brought up Lucinda to begin with! I was pleasant but subdued for the remainder of that group meeting.

On my way out the door, I was followed by my friend Jim Spence. I am using his real name here because I don’t think he’d mind. Jim came right up to me and said,

“I just wanted you to know that regarding the comments to you about it being wrong to speak about a third party behind their back, I DID NOT RECEIVE THAT.”

What Jim meant is that he believed what I had been told, while maybe being “nice” and “politically correct” was in fact not Biblically nor ethically correct and was something I should dismiss and not take to heart. The fact that Jim is not only an Ordained minister (TODAY he is an Ordained Episcopal Priest) and also a licensed counselor really helped me put things into perspective.

The comments I heard that day from Eddie are comments that I have repeatedly heard from the pulpit in evangelical churches and from other Christians in more informal settings.

“God would NEVER want you to talk about another person behind that person’s back- that is GOSSIP and that is WRONG” is what I’ve been told.

Well, in that case, the Apostle Paul is guilty of this grave wrong, and so is the Holy Spirit. Would YOU think that it would be appropriate in SACRED SCRIPTURE to name someone BY NAME, and tell that he had done you wrong, and sort of warn others against him or her? I would say that were that question put to the average evangelical Christian and/or to Christian leaders and denominational officials, the overwhelming majority would say it’s wrong. But Paul DID IT. And, IF we really believe in INERRANCY- that all Scripture is the Word of God without error, then in certain cases, speaking or writing about third parties behind their backs, even saying negative things about them (again IN CERTAIN CASES) is OK!

Missionary Dewey Huston (now retired) told me the story that a pastor in Ohio had told him many years ago. Dewey Huston was visiting a particular Assemblies of God church and over dinner, the pastor told Huston that he’d had TERRIBLE opposition and problems with his piano player. The pastor earnestly prayed,and God revealed to the pastor that the woman was in fact a phony and A PRACTICING WITCH! The pastor went to the woman and confronted her. The woman admitted it! She told the pastor she would leave the church and take a bunch of people with her. And, she did! Not long afterwards, she and her followers showed up as regular attenders at a nearby Assemblies of God church. The first pastor called the witch’s new pastor to warn him. But the second pastor would NOT hear him. He was like the guy who rebuked me for speaking negatively about a third party. He was so “loving” that he totally dismissed the first pastor’s warning as sour grapes, and the witch happily played the piano and sewed discord in her new church.

In 2 Timothy 4, verses 9 through 15, Paul wrote:

“Do thy diligence to come shortly unto me:
For Demas hath forsaken me, having loved this present world, and is departed unto Thessalonica; Crescens to Galatia, Titus unto Dalmatia.
Only Luke is with me. Take Mark, and bring him with thee: for he is profitable to me for the ministry.
And Tychicus have I sent to Ephesus.
The cloke that I left at Troas with Carpus, when thou comest, bring with thee, and the books, but especially the parchments.
Alexander the coppersmith did me much evil: the Lord reward him according to his works:
Of whom be thou ware also; for he hath greatly withstood our words.”

Paul, in fact, in Sacred Scripture, inspired by the Holy Spirit, “gossiped” about Demas, Crescens, Titus, Alexander, and others.

There’s a very controversial verse in Luke 16:8 that essentially says that many times your average non believing secular irreligious person has far more SMARTS regarding life than do Christians! It’s true. You know what?... those who did the study at the University of California at Berkeley once again proved the truth of Luke 16:8!