THAT 1955 FORD C.A.P. CAR

"And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." (Galatians 6:9)

I may forget where I put my wallet, as I did a couple of weeks ago, and I may forget what I did with my car keys, but for some reason, I have vivid memories of the distant past. One memory I have involves the dark blue 1955 Ford station wagon owned by the Civil Air Patrol that my father sometimes drove. Dad was a member of a local Civil Air Patrol group. In fact, he was a leader of the group and held the rank of Major. In these days of government austerity, I don't know if they still provide C.A.P. automobiles for the use of the C.A.P. leadership, but they did in those days. Now, please understand, this car, and the 1961 Ford station wagon he later sometimes drove, were not driven by him exclusively, but he did have the use of these cars on occasion. In the days before we were a two car family (in 1964) my father periodically borrowed a C.A.P. car. Since this memory involves the 1955 station wagon, rather than the 1961, I think this must go back to around 1962.

I would have been around 7 or 8 at the time. Sometimes during school vacations, my parents would allow me to go to visit my grandmother at her apartment in Boston for a personal vacation of several days. I loved these vacations! I was treated like a king! My grandmother and her younger sister Celia who lived nearby would dote on me. I got all kinds of cool snacks and got to visit all kinds of cool places in the city with them. I got to watch some great shows on television...at least by 1962 standards! My memory of the 1955 Ford C.A.P. car is that Celia had taken me by public transportation to the City Point/Castle Island park area on the South Boston waterfront. I had a wonderful time. We took the public transportation back, and walked the quarter of a mile or so from the bus stop to "Gram's" apartment.

As we rounded the corner to Gram's street, what to my wondering eyes did appear but the 1955 Ford C.A.P. car?! NO! At that point, I was still scheduled to have at least another couple of days at Grams' in Boston. I was not supposed to be going home now. I was stunned. It wasn't fair! My parents did not keep their word. I had two more days left! It wasn't fair! We went in, and indeed my father was there to bring me home. As a grown up, I realize things can come up. This was not the time frame any of us had planned on, but maybe my parents had a schedule conflict and this worked out better for them. I understand that today, but as a kid, I didn't understand it, at all.

My father was not a guy you argued with. You just didn't say "no" to him. I knew there was not way out of it. I had to pack up my stuff and go with my father in that 1955 Ford station wagon. I was deeply disappointed. The funny thing is, in my brain, I've come to associate deep disappointment with that evening. When I feel there's been a really unfair or deeply disappointing happening in my life, I will picture that 1955 Ford C.A.P. car and remember how I felt that night.

This is very personal, but over the past three years, there have been a lot of 1955 Ford C.A.P. cars in my life! No, not literally, but they might as well have been literal. As a little kid, I had plans for the rest of my vacation at my grandmothers. Those plans were sacred to me, and anything that might interfere with them was, well, unthinkable! I've carried that thinking pattern into adulthood. I am a planner. I've never been known to be particularly "flexible". In fact, "flexible" is not a favorite word! Some years ago, a guy in our church in Framingham called me a "control freak". I really didn't like that. In fact, he was and is a control freak, himself. But, alas, he was correct.

In Scripture, I am amazed that interruptions did not even phase Jesus. He accepted interruptions as just part of life and seems totally unaffected by them. I am embarrassed and convicted each time I read those accounts where someone throws off Jesus' schedule and He is just fine with it. Honestly, I'm a bit better about interruptions than I used to be, but I do like my private world to have all the t's crossed and i's dotted. In fact, over the past three years, and particularly over the past few months, as I have rounded corners of my life's journey, I have encountered many dark blue 1955 Ford C.A.P. cars. Many! Yes, there's also been many a 39-year-old Eugene A. Baril telling me it's time to pack my things and go, no matter what plans or hopes or dreams I may have had. Honestly, right now is a very emotional time for me. I have been holding onto a bunch of hopes and plans and dreams that don't seem to be working out at all. Instead, there is a whole parking lot full of 1955 dark blue Ford C.A.P. station wagons! I don't like it.

I don't like it one bit!

It was so easy to teach about Discipleship, and obedience, and faith, and living the Christian life when I was pastoring. It's just so difficult now. But, you know what? Back there in 1962, I did ride home in that '55 Ford with my father. I was disappointed but it did not kill me. If and when I ever publicly minister again, I have a feeling my ministry will have a lot more depth because of this "Joseph of the Old Testament School" I am in right now. I am grateful for dear Christian friends who are praying me through these days. Excuse me, I think I see a 1955 Ford station wagon I'm being summoned to enter!