THE SICKNESS OF UNFORGIVENESS

Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me.  
Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’  
And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.
So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.   (Matthew 18:32-35  New King James Version)

In the above Bible passage, Jesus proclaims a parable to teach the danger of unforgiveness.  There is one man who owes his "master" a huge sum of money which is impossible for him to pay.   It would be the equivalent of something like ten million dollars in modern America.  He begs for forgiveness.  Amazingly, his master has compassion on him and totally forgives the debt!  That same guy goes out and finds a guy who owes him money.  Now, when I've heard preachers tell this story from the pulpit, they will say something like, "He found a guy who owed him five bucks."  That really is not 
accurate.   In fact, the man was owed the equivalent of several thousand dollars of modern American money, but this would still be a tiny amount compared to ten million dollars!   The guy who had been forgiven the ten million dollar debt grabbed the one who owed him money by the throat, demanded payment, and took legal action against him!  There were other "servants" who'd witnessed this thing and just could not believe it could have happened!  They report to the master what the (forgiven) man had done.  The master gets so angry that he puts the million dollar debt back on his head!   The most disturbing part of the parable is its ending.  Jesus says that if we do not forgive, then God the Father who has forgiven us a great debt, will put that debt back upon us!  Now, for all you Calvinists out there, does that mean you'll "lose your salvation"?  Well, you tell me.  It's sobering.  The bottom line is, we want to be forgiven, but too often, we refuse to forgive others; and it ends up hurting us.

I have two powerful stories about unforgiveness to share.  Each is a true story.  The first story was told to me over fifteen years ago by a woman I will call "Sally" (not her real name) and the second story was told to be by a man I will call "Angelo" (not his real name) a little over a year ago.

Sally came from a good home and had good parents.  I have seen her parents a few times.  They seem like very nice people.  They also seem like very well-mannered people who would always behave in a dignified, proper manner.  One evening at dinnertime, Sally's brother was acting silly the way boys are sometimes apt to do.  I don't know how old Sally and her brother were at the time; I'd guess maybe somewhere between ages 9 and 12.  Sally's brother insisted on talking like a robot at the dinner table.  He spoke every word as though he were the Lost in Space robot.  It may have been entertaining at first, but it quickly grated on Sally's father.  Sally's Dad got so upset that he placed a pretty extreme punishment on Sally's brother:   For one month, he had to talk like a robot.  We can all think of so many other ways this situation could have been handled.  Perhaps the brother should have been sent to his room with no supper and no television that night.  Some parents may have made him write two hundred times, "I will not talk like a robot".   Some parents may have grounded him for a couple of days and given him extra chores to do.  But, to be made to talk like a robot for one month?? Sally shared how disturbing that punishment was.  It had obviously had a profoundly upsetting and lasting effect upon her.

Now, it's interesting that Angelo's story also involves someone getting upset and dishing out a one month punishment!   I can't remember if the man was a friend of Angelo's family or if he was a relative...I think he was a relative.  Anyway, the guy worked with the public works department of a small town on the outskirts of the Boston area.  This happened probably forty years ago.  There had been a bad storm.   There were large tree limbs and branches partially or fully blocking some streets.  I will call the angry man in Angelo's story, "Mario".  Mario had gone to the front of a residence and cut up and moved to the side of the road a bunch of tree limbs and branches.  As I recall, some of them may have been left partially on the homeowner's property.  The homeowner came outside.  In a condescending manner, he asked Mario, "You're not going to just leave those limbs and branches on my property and in front of it, are you?"   Mario was offended and embarrassed.  He told the homeowner,  "Sir, of course we don't just leave branches and limbs laying on or in front of people's property.  Right now, we're trying to clean up the storm damage all over town.  I am not able to take this stuff at the moment, but someone will come and clear it away within a few days."

In fact, someone did come and clear it all way within a few days.  But Mario was furious.  He did not even receive a "thank you" from the homeowner.  Instead, he had been spoken to as though he were a slave, and a stupid slave, at that!   Mario told Angelo, "I will show you how I will get back at that guy!"   Mario then got a full box of Kleenex tissues and a small plastic bag.  He tore all the Kleenex tissues up into little chunks.  Then, he placed all the little chunks of tissue paper into the small bag.  He drove by that homeowner's front yard, and let the chunks of tissue paper go flying all over that homeowners yard!   As bad as that was, he repeated this every day for thirty days!  (I am not sure if he drove by at night or during the daytime!)

I almost quoted Hebrews 12:15 at the beginning of this piece.  It speaks of a "root of bitterness" which will defile many people.  When you have to carry on an offense and an act of revenge for a one month period as each "unforgiver" in the above stories did- well, there's just something wrong with that.  Tell me, who acted more petty, stupid, and immature:  the boy who talked like a robot or his father?   Tell me, who acted more petty, stupid, and immature:  the condescending and ungrateful homeowner, or the guy who had chunks of Kleenex blow over that lawn every day for a month?

Do you hold grudges?
Do you have trouble forgiving?
Is it worth the kind of actions the two "unforgivers" were guilty of? 
Have you ever acted like the "unforgivers"?
Would you want to have been one of them and then to have to explain those behaviors to God on Judgment Day?
It's sobering, isn't it?