"And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." (Ephesians 6:4)
Today, May 12, 2014, is my daughter Amy Baril Julian's birthday. Interestingly enough, the year she was born, May 12 was Mothers' Day- so Amy was a Mothers' Day baby. I remember that Sunday well. At the time, I was one of two Associate Pastors at Christian Life Center church in Walpole, Massachusetts. The Senior Pastor was away and I had been scheduled to preach for Sunday morning, May 12. My wife said she really felt the baby might arrive "at any time", so I encouraged Denny Seler, the other Associate Pastor, to have a sermon prepared, and he ended up preaching in my place. In the Assemblies of God, ministers are first "Licensed to Preach" for several years before they are formally "Ordained". I was Ordained at "District Council" in Brookfield, Connecticut on May 7, 1985, just five days before Amy's birth, so I also think of her birthday in terms of my Ordination, as well as that Mothers' Day birth.
Each of our kids has a unique personality- the three of them are all different. Jon, the oldest, looks a lot like me, and especially looked like me as a little kid. He's got a temperament and interests very much like mine. Rachel, the youngest, is a gifted artist in the fine arts (painting, drawing, sculpture) as well as a gifted person in theater. It's no accident that she holds a Bachelor's degree in Fine Arts and a Bachelor's degree in Theater Arts- and she works at an insurance company to pay the bills! Amy, the middle child, was possibly the least like me in many respects. She's a very good singer and she's also been into drama. I think Amy's greatest gift, however, is that she's tremendously compassionate and in so many ways a real humanitarian. It's no accident that Amy is a pediatric nurse at Cox South Medical Center in Springfield, Missouri; nor that she's ministered in several medical missions trip to Haiti. She's one of those people who was born to be a nurse.
Incidentally, I know the title of this piece may have raised a few eyebrows, but I assure you, it's not about drugs, it's about an actual ceramic pot!
Each of our kids attended Holliston Christian Nursery School (now Holliston Christian Preschool). Every year, the four-year-old class at the nursery school put on a "fathers' night" event. The Dads all came to school with their children and had a spaghetti supper. Then, Mrs. Knowles would lead them in singing some old favorite songs including, "There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly", and "Three Green Speckled Frogs". I went to "fathers' night" for each of my children. I will never forget Amy's "fathers' night". Each child had made their father a small ceramic pot. The children painted the pots, and as I recall, the kid's name was written on the pot. I don't remember those ceramic pots with Jon or Rachel's "fathers' nights" at all. I think Amy's was the only one. The kids were so proud of the little ceramic pots they had made! Mrs. Knowles, true to form, gave a little talk about being careful with the pots so no one would drop theirs.
On the way through the door from the building to the parking lot, I was trying to hold Amy's hand, the little pot, and a pile of papers. The door swung open, I walked through, and you guessed it: SMASH! In a split second, the pot flew out of my hand and onto the ground smashing into several pieces! Little Amy burst into tears!
"Didn't you hear Mrs. Knowles say to be careful?!" Amy sobbed.
What a horrible moment! I don't have the words to express how that evening felt. There was nothing I could say or do that could turn that evening around. It was supposed to be a big father/daughter bonding night, and I felt like instead, it was a disaster.
Now, fast-forward nineteen years. Amy's wedding was March 15, 2008. I was privileged to perform that wedding ceremony at Oak Grove Assembly of God in Springfield, Missouri. One of the church's Associate Pastors officiated for the very beginning of the ceremony so I could walk Amy down the aisle; then I took over from there. In the weeks leading up to that wedding, I thought about something special and unique that I could do at the service that would be a very wonderful and memorable moment between father and daughter. It didn't take long for me to come up with the perfect idea. I'm no artist, but with a little help from Rachel, I made a little clay pot, exactly like Amy had made me in 1989. I fashioned the pot and "baked" it in the oven. I painted it red, just like Amy's original pot. I wrote a little inscription on it. At Amy's wedding, the pot was in a little plastic sandwich bag, and hidden in my suit. At an appropriate point during the ceremony, I pulled the plastic bag and pot out of my pocket, told the story of "fathers' night" and presented the little red replacement pot to Amy. The pot was a highlight for people to photograph at her reception!
I have been privileged to see all of my kids grow up into adulthood and to see them all following the Lord. (A lot of kids who grow up in pastor's homes walk away form God.) I was not a perfect father. I made a lot of mistakes; a lot of mistakes! That smashed little pot made me feel like a failure as a Dad. Yet, God in His infinite wisdom and grace takes each smashed mess we hand Him, and gives it back as a beautiful work of art!
Happy birthday to Amy, and Happy Mother's Day (one day late)!
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2 comments:
This has very little to do with the body of your post but...
don't you think it's a little dangerous to post so much personal information on the internet like that? "here are the names of all my children, their ages, the schools they attented, their occupations and degrees!" Be wary; this blog isn't your Facebook page and these sorts of things can come up in a Google search.
Those of us with internet paranoia advise a little more restraint. Gotta think like a serpent sometimes.
jon TK's points ARE well taken. I must admit it caused me to do some soul searching and carefully re-read the post. I will say it also caused me to speak to Amy over the phone. She read the piece and was not bothered in any way about the information contained in it. Dates of birth and marriage are pretty much public knowledge and fairly easy to find. I am relieved that Amy was O.K. with it, but I still admit jon TK's points are well taken. It is easy to get fast and free with what you write on a blog or Facebook post- you CAN give away personal information which really shouldn't be put out to the general public. I admit that in my zeal in writing and posting a piece, I an easily forget this. Again, I'm relieved that Amy was O.K. with it, but for me it's been a "wake up call" to carefully consider every bit of information I put out on the internet.
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