JOSEPH in the Conference Room

[Please understand that this is a post of fiction and fantasy.  None of what I say happened to me in this piece really happened.  But, boy I sure wish it did!  If you're open to fantasy, symbolism, and sanctified imagination, this piece can be at the very least enjoyable and at the very most absolutely life transforming!]

"He sent a man before them, even Joseph, who was sold for a servant:  whose feet they hurt with fetters:  he was laid in iron:  until the time that his word came:  the word of the Lord tried him."  (Psalm 105:17-19)

I can't possibly provide you with all of the details of how this meeting was planned and arranged.  It involved a lot of praying and hearing from God.  Do you remember the story from the Passion Week when Jesus told his disciples to go into a certain village and find and loose a certain donkey's colt?  And that the disciples who were sent on that mission were told to just say, "The Lord has need of it".  Well, it was kind of like that!

I had been directed by the "still small voice" of the Lord to drive to a certain large church in a certain New England community.  I had never been there before, nor had I ever met the church's pastor.  I'm going to keep the specifics secret.  I did drive there and I arrived at the date and time which had been arranged by the Lord.

I walked into the very large and very impressive church facility.  I easily found a sign directing me to the church office.  I was greeted by a secretary who picked up a phone and informed the pastor I had arrived.  The pastor was a guy about forty of medium height and build with brown hair and a well trimmed beard.  He walked in and greeted me with a big smile.  He told me I was to go to the Conference Room (he gave me the directions to that room) and that after about five minutes I could expect my "guest" to arrive.

I found the meeting place easily.  The room was a little bit smaller than I'd expected.  Inside the room was a long table (actually two tables pushed together) and around fifteen or sixteen really nice black leather chairs.  I sat and waited nervously.  In about five minutes, the door opened and a man wearing an impressive looking black suit, white shirt, and red necktie entered the room.  I started to rise but he immediately and confidently told me to remain seated.  He took a seat directly across from me.

With a huge smile he announced, "I am Joseph!"

His voice was masculine and a tad loud.  The really weird thing is that he sounded a lot like Rush Limbaugh!

I told him, "You sound like Rush Limbaugh.  Do you know who that is?"

"I know who Rush Limbaugh is," he confidently replied.

"Well, since you're Joseph of the Old Testament, I wouldn't have expected that."  I countered.

"This is the accent the Lord has given me for this meeting.  It's the accent of southeast Missouri,"  was his answer.

"How do I know you're not just some actor?"  I asked, "Why don't you say a few sentences in your native ancient Hebrew language?"

Immediately he rattled off several sentences in what sounded like Hebrew.  Then he added in English, "And I'll give you some sentences from the language I spoke when I was in Egypt!"

He did that!  And the Egyptian language did sound pretty different from the Hebrew.

"Where is your coat of many colors?"  I questioned.  And I added, "Surely you didn't wear that black suit in the ancient world?"

"You know what happened to my special coat." he said, "My brothers took it, killed a goat, and covered it with that goat's blood.  I'm wearing the black suit because that's what the Lord wanted worn.  And I look as I did as a 38-year-old."

I launched into what became a very long and powerful conversation.  I asked how he possibly remained faithful to the Lord during his terrible ordeal.  He told me the one thing he thought about and thought about over and over again during that thirteen year period was, "The guy I ran into in Shechem who told me to go to Dothan.  My brothers were supposed to be at Shechem.  But this guy there told me they went to Dothan.  I went to Dothan, and all the rest of me being sold into slavery took place.  If I hadn't run into that guy, none of those horrible things would have happened.  I would have just gone back to my father and told him my brothers were not at Shechem and I couldn't find them."

It kind of haunted him that the strange man directing him to Dothan set everything in place for what happened.  He told me he'd wondered if that "guy" was an angel or some kind of a prophet, or if he was literally just some guy who was there at that time and place.  The main thing he told me was the events of our lives are no accident if we're truly following God.

I poured out my heart to Joseph.  I told him how difficult the past thirteen years have been for me.  I added that I was a very simple and naive young man when I was Licensed and later Ordained as an Assemblies of God minister.  I had hopes and plans and dreams for my life.  I did not expect to do this, but I broke down crying; sobbing really.  I'm glad there was a box of tissues in that room because I needed them.  

"I felt so discredited when the church closed and I was asked to step out of ministry.  I was humiliated.  I lost so much.  I was so ashamed."

"How'd you like to be a slave?" Joseph asked me. "How'd you like to be accused of trying to rape your master's wife?  How'd you like to have done time in the joint?"

"You called it the joint?"  I asked.

"No, but Rush Limbaugh would have!"  he replied.

We both laughed.  Joseph then told me some people are called to experience great detours, great changes, great disappointments, and great setbacks in their lives.

"Don't expect other people to understand this," he firmly cautioned me, "but it doesn't matter what other people think!  It doesn't matter what other ministers think!  It doesn't matter what your family thinks!  It only matters what God decrees!"

He told me Potiphar's wife was a "cougar".  Yes, he understood what that meant!  He told me that in an instance where a foreign slave tried to rape an Egyptian government official's wife, that slave would typically be executed.  He specified that Potiphar knew he didn't try to rape his wife.  But Potiphar had to save face with his wife.  Thus, Potiphar threw Joseph in prison.  I asked if there had been any sentence of time to spend in prison decreed for him, but Joseph said it was just left open ended.  

I asked if he ever got really discouraged in prison.  He told me, he did!  He fully expected the Chief Butler to talk to Pharaoh and that arrangements would be made for him to be released.  But after two years, Joseph said he felt he had no hope to get out of prison.  I asked if he then gave up on God.  To my amazement Joseph told me despite his discouragement and even despite his hopelessness he never gave up on God.

"It's hard to explain," he said, "but I always knew God was with me and I always knew God loved me."

We talked about his surprise release.  We talked about his wife and kids.  We talked about his brothers and father and family members coming to live in Egypt and the amazingly powerful and important position he was given in Egypt.  We even talked about Joseph's confusion when his father Jacob gave his younger son Ephraim the blessing that goes to the firstborn.  He described being kind of perturbed about it and trying to correct his father, but Jacob insisted it stay that way.

Then the subject came back to me.  I was shocked that Joseph talked to me about Nelson Mandela.  Would you expect Joseph to talk to you about Nelson Mandela?  He told me Nelson Mandela spent many years in prison under dire conditions.  Yet, Nelson Mandela eventually had his life completely turned around and spent several years as President of South Africa prior to his death.

I wanted desperately for Joseph to tell me exactly what my future will be and if things in my life will turn around for me as they did for Joseph and for Mandela.  So, I asked him.  I was shocked when Joseph bluntly told me, "I don't know."

He said God was absolutely not revealing that to him.  Joseph also told me my life may not substantially change from what it is now.  I admit, I felt a little angry.  Then he said, "Bob, the most important thing is your relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ and that God loves you so much!"

I began to protest, "But I don't even have much money or assets, and I don't even have any definite hope for the future."

Now it was Joseph who sounded angry.  

"God went to all the trouble to have me meet with you and talk to you.  God went to all the trouble to have me encourage you.  And are you going to be like the Israelites, complaining in the wilderness?"

It was very silent in that room.  I did feel very ashamed.  I told him I was very sorry for my attitude.  I thanked him for coming.  I told him I'll always cherish his visit.

I actually said to him, "You're right.  I don't care.  If the rest of my earthly life stinks, I don't care.  I have the Lord.  I'm going to Heaven.  I will be with the Lord in peace and serenity for all eternity.  You're right.  It's all good!"

Then - Joseph disappeared!

I wondered why he walked into the room like a natural person in the beginning, but then disappeared in the end.  I don't have an answer for that.

I stopped by the church office when I was leaving.  The secretary said "Good-bye" and the pastor suddenly walked into the office saying, "Glad you could meet here!" and wished me well.

I departed from the building, started up my Toyota, turned on K-LOVE radio, and drove out of the parking lot.