REMEMBERING THE "CONNECTICUTS"

“But as God is true, our word toward you was not yea and nay.” (2 Corinthians 1:18)

Despite the title’s implications, this piece has NOTHING to do with a tribe of Indians (or is it “Native Americans”?) from southwestern New England!  Rather, I’m going to tell you a story and draw some applications from it.

When I was a young kid growing up in Canton, Massachusetts we had a generally close relationship with the kids next door.  I won’t use their real names- I’ll call them the Banks family.  We grew up with the Banks family.  We played with them- rode bikes- went places- did stupid things which ended up in Mr. and Mrs. Banks punishing them and Mr. and Mrs. Baril punishing us.  All that kind of stuff.  But PERIODICALLY the Banks kids would go through an amazing transformation which would be sad and disturbing for us Baril kids.

The Banks kids had cousins from Connecticut...well to be more accurate, they had an Uncle and Aunt and cousins from Connecticut.  Once or twice a year, the Connecticut family would come to Canton and stay with the Banks’ for anywhere from 1 to 3 days.  You just didn’t want to be around the Banks kids when that happened.  Oh, the kids from Connecticut were nice enough.  They were not mean or bullies or anything like that.  But when the black ‘62 Chevrolet Bel-Air sedan sporting those deep blue Connecticut license plates pulled into that driveway, the Banks kids changed.  To look at them, it was as though they were INTOXICATED from ingesting some sort of a very powerful mind-altering drug. They looked happy and STUPEFIED.  All reason “went out the window”.  All manners “went out the window”.  All memories of the close friendships we had with them “went out the window”.  The Banks wanted nothing to do with the Barils as long as the Connecticut cousins were present.  Nothing.  Well, that’s not even accurate.  That would have been easier. It was more like they did not want us around but they wanted to TORMENT us by letting us know how wonderful it was that this family (we Baril kids referred to them as “the Connecticuts”) was present.  I remember that on one visit, the Banks’ kids and their cousins were given some sort of treats.  The Banks kids shouted gleefully and ecstatically, “None for the Barils!  NONE for the Barils!”

When “the Connecticuts” would leave, it would take Jimmy and Robbie Banks up to 48 hours to completely get the “drug” out of their systems.  They might seem O.K., then launch into a moment of making a cruel remark or a bragging statement about the people from Connecticut.  But it would quickly lapse.  We learned not to take this stuff too seriously.  We knew it would just take that two days to get it completely out of their systems.  Then they were their usual friendly selves again.  We eventually became conditioned that when we saw that ‘62 Bel-Air pull into the driveway-  we knew to just sadly go home and let the thing run its course.

I told that story, because I’ve found that the Banks’ kids are not the only ones who suffered from “the Connecticuts” disease.  I’ve learned that it can affect people of any age and any background.  For many years, there was a woman in our church in Framingham who would be fine until her parents came up from Florida for a week long visit.  She (granted in a somewhat more adult manner) would enter into the same trancelike state which would actually produce states of inconsistency and irrationality.  And, she ain’t the only one!  I’ve seen people who’ve make commitments and promises completely change when some relative or friend from out-of-town shows up.  You may think I’m making much too much of this, but I don’t think I am.  Imagine if Governor Romney’s brother (if he has a brother) showed up for a week, rendering him zombie-like and incapable of Governing the state.  (I know, I know, some of you liberal Democrats think he already IS zombie-like and incapable of running the state!)  Imagine if Simon Cowell just sat drooling and staring into space on American Idol because his parents from England were in the audience.   Imagine how you’d feel if your morning paper was not delivered because the delivery man’s sister from Brazil was visiting and he just forgot about his job.  

Am I saying we should not love our families, spend time with them, and be excited to see them?  Of course not!  I’m just saying that I’m AMAZED at the hold some people’s friends and relatives have on them... to the point that they will actually CHANGE, and can even become unpleasant to be around.

If I hadn’t seen that a number of times, I wouldn’t be writing about it.  I have many faults, but one thing I’m proud of (and I hope it’s not a sinful kind of pride) is that I’m consistent and I don’t let things like the stuff I’ve described above affect my commitments and my life in general.  I don’t think somebody’s arrival should totally change me for the duration of their visit.  If you’re like the Banks kids, I hope this at least makes you take inventory of how your STUPOR (over whatever are “the Connecticuts” in your life) may affect and even hurt others.   As the Scripture says, “...let your yea be yea...  Be consistent.  Don’t be manipulated.  And to quote the words of a minister friend from many years ago, “If you still love me, say Amen!”.