WAS MY FACE RED?!

“And he that bade the and him come and say to thee, Give this man place; and thou begin with shame to take the lowest room.”  (Luke 14:9)

My wife reads a supermarket womens’ magazine which has a regular feature entitled, “Was My Face Red?!”.  It always features the most embarrassing moment in some woman’s life.  (O.K., I read the magazine, too, that’s how I know about it!)  I could not think of a better title for this posting than, “Was My Face Red?”.

Most of you know that I pastor a very small church.  In our District (like a Diocese in Catholic or other liturgical churches) I really don’t have very much clout.  When you’ve been around for many years, your church is small, and you’re eccentric (as I am), you just don’t have much clout.  That’s just how it is.  Our big annual District meeting (kind of like a Convention) is usually held in early May. A few days ago, I received an official letter from our District Superintendent (like a Bishop in liturgical churches) asking me to serve on the District Resolutions committee.  I have served on that committee before, but it was a long time ago.  I think I served in 1989 and 1991.  The letter stated that I needed to refer to the “enclosed sheet of paper” to learn the details of EXACTLY what I was being asked to do.  I looked at the other piece of paper, and nearly gasped when the heading said, “CHAIRMAN OF THE RESOLUTIONS COMMITTEE”.  I was stunned.  “Chairman?”  I was being asked to be the “Chairman”?! 

I nervously phoned my wife.
“Bob,” said, “You shouldn’t hesitate to take this position.  The Superintendent has great confidence in you.  He wants YOU to be the Chairman.”
I knew she was right.

I phoned the District Superintendent’s Secretary and told her I’d received his letter and that I was saying “yes” to his request.

“Do you have any special instructions for me?”  I asked.
(Usually the Chairman would be told the names of those who would be on his committee and some other details.)  I was a bit surprised when she replied, “No, nothing for now!”.

I told the Board Members of our church and an old ministry friend or two that I’d been asked to be the Chairman of this year’s Resolutions Committee for District Council.  I was nervous, but I did feel somewhat important and validated.  Over the next few days, my wife stressed to me how encouraged I should feel and that being placed in this position meant God’s blessing and the respect of the District Superintendent.

On Tuesday of this week, I went to (what we call) a Sectional meeting at Leominster Assembly of God.  (Our District is divided into  Sections.  Framingham is in the Central Mass. Section.)  Pastor Mark Boucher of the Leominster church enthusiastically greeted me.

“Bob,” he said, “so YOU are going to be on the Resolutions Committee.  That’s great.  Well, we’ll be meeting on April 15, and I’m sure we’ll get more information by then.” 

He said that like a guy in charge.  Too much like a  guy in charge.  He knew the DATE we’d meet.  He knew who was on the committee. ..... stuff the CHAIRMAN would know.

It hit me.

HE was the Chairman.

Suddenly, it was obvious what had happened.  A Secretary at the District Office had put the wrong job description in my letter.  Now, it made SENSE that I was asked to be on the committee but NOT as the Chairman.  It made perfect sense.  It made good sense.

Ouch!

For the “umpteenth” time in my life, I’d felt validated and important, and suddenly that was all taken away.  I felt embarrassed, ashamed, and a little stupid.
Was my face red?  Kind of.

For the first fifteen minutes of Tuesday’s Sectional meeting, I wasn’t there.  Mentally, I asked God, “How could that happen?” and “How could I think I was the Chairman?”  and “Well, they TOLD me I was the Chairman.  How could they do that?”  Mary Ann would be disappointed.  My friends and Board would be hurt and embarrassed FOR ME. “HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?”.

You know what?
Not audibly.  But in that “still, small voice” deep in my spirit, the Lord spoke to me.
“This is quite a teachable moment,” God said.

“Really?!” I disgustedly thought, “How so?”

“Bob, imagine if you had done something like this to someone in your church.  Imagine if you’d have promised them some big position, and then abruptly taken it away and said it was all a mistake. How do you think they would react?!”

“They’d be FURIOUS.” I mentally replied.  “They’d tell me off. They’d turn others against me.  They’d probably leave the church. They might get others to leave the church.”

“Exactly right.” said the Lord.  “This is your opportunity to show them how a mature and godly Christian handles such a thing. You’re going to serve on the committee and be pleasant and respectful to the District leaders and workers.  In doing so, you’re going to show them how I want them to handle disappointments in the church:  with forgiveness, with class, and with grace, and with love.”

I wasn’t upset anymore.  I was actually very happy.  I almost started laughing.
So my face was red.  Now I’m beaming with happiness!