THE RIDE

“For every man shall bear his own burden.”  (Galatians 6:5)

[At the outset I have to explain that this posting is NOT about the possible discontinuing (in Framingham) of the transportation service for the disabled called “The Ride”.  That’s a big controversy in Framingham and is a “loaded” topic.  I may write about that sometime on a future blog posting.]

Contrary to what probably 75% of Americans believe, there is no Bible verse which says, “God helps those who help themselves”.  That concept is not taught in the New Testament.  In fact, the message of the Gospel is that human beings could NOT help themselves and that’s why they needed Jesus Christ for salvation.  HOWEVER, the closest thing to “God helps those who help themselves” that I can find in the New Testament is  “For every man shall bear his own burden.”  (Galatians 6:5).  That verse teaches that we ALL have responsibilities which WE need to address and that we can’t be whining and expecting the government to bail us out or the church to bail us out or our relatives to bail us out or anyone else to bail us out.  WE EACH have responsibilities that WE EACH have to take care of.  When the load gets overwhelming (such as the 26-year-old widow  with several small children I wrote about on a recent blog posting) THEN that’s the place for many other people to step in and generously lend a hand.

I’ve got to vent about something!  It drives me crazy when people show up at church for a service, then whine when the service is over that they have no way to get home and they need a ride.  

About two years ago, a 55-ish woman that I’ll call Mabel who is on Disability and has had a background of psychiatric problems showed up for a Sunday morning church service by taxi.  (I know her background; a friend of hers used to come to our church many years ago.)  After the service, Mabel asked to use the phone and called for a taxi to take her home.  She waited for 45 minutes before the cab showed up.  This meant my wife and I, and a Deacon and his family “hanging around” waiting for the taxi to arrive.  We were SO glad when it finally came, but standing around for 45 minutes was, well, annoying.  The next week she showed up and the same scene was repeated, except that the cab never showed up.  Finally, my wife and I drove her home.  I knew she’d be expecting this every week.  I told her “Mabel, I don’t mind us driving you home ONCE IN AWHILE, but you really need to be responsible for your own transportation.  Slip out about twenty minutes before the service ends, and call for a cab in the future.:”  Mabel never returned.  You may think I’m heartless, but I was honestly relieved that she did not return.

Again, just in case you DO think I’m heartless, on Saturday a guy from our church was about to walk two miles to the supermarket to buy a couple of large bags of groceries and then walk home...in the heat and humidity.  His car is broken down and will cost at least $1500. to repair.  He did not ask me for a ride or anything like that, but he’d come to the church for a special Saturday prayer meeting.  I took him aside and said, “Bob, don’t walk to the supermarket in this heat.  It’s crazy.  Let me drive you.”  I drove him to the market, waited in the car while he shopped and then I drove him home.  I was glad to do it.  But he never pushed me nor manipulated me to drive him.  It was my offer to him.

On Sunday, June 8, another female with a background of psychiatric problems that I’ll call Susie attended our church’s morning service.  Susie used to attend our church but hasn’t been present in about seven years.  Susie lives about six- tenths of a mile from the church.  She walked to church.  After church, Susie went up to several people and said, “It’s HOT.  I want you to drive me home so I don’t collapse in the heat.”  I happen to know Susie routinely walks all over downtown Framingham and she hasn’t yet collapsed.  My sister was asked by Susie to give her a ride and she said “no”.  My sister privately told me, “I’m unsure about her.  What if she wouldn’t get out of the car or something.” I have the same concern, and I told my sister not to worry about it.  I’d feel even worse about a man driving her, if she’d then say he tried to rape her or something like that.  Susie was turned down for rides by a number of people.  Finally she came up to me and tried the routine on me.  (My wife was not going home with me, she had to do a special job for a teacher at the Marian High School office directly from church.)  I bluntly said to Susie, “Look, the rules around here are you provide your own transportation TO and FROM church and that’s the way it is.”

She did not like that!

Susie somewhat angrily said, “Oh, I get it FATHER!!! I mean PASTOR!! I get how it is!!”

A man then said, “I’ll drive her” and he did.  Of course I looked like a jerk, but he foolishly put himself at risk.

When someone becomes a “regular” at church, we’re very generous with them.  There’s an elderly woman from Wayland that  I’ve picked up and given rides to on a number of occasions.  There was another elderly lady for whom the church purchased an air conditioner.  There was a situation years ago where a man’s brother committed suicide and there was no money for any funeral.  The church donated the money for a cremation and burial.  So it’s not that we don’t help people.  But this stuff of :  "here I am, I’ve got psychiatric problems, I’m showing up, and I expect you to give me a ride...” or whatever else they expect... well, bluntly, I don’t like it and I think it’s very manipulative, and this is my vent about it.

What do you think?