PERCEPTION/REALITY

“He that is unjust, let him be unjust still: and he which is filthy, let him be filthy still: and he that is righteous, let him be righteous still: and he that is holy, let him be holy still,” (Revelation 22:11)

At least ten years ago, a woman named Barb who was an active Member of the church I pastor and who was one of the worship leaders brought what she stated was a word from God to and for each of the people who ministered up front during the service. Those people included me, all the members of the worship team, and all the “orchestra”. In our little church at the time, I think that was at least 7 people. Now, in Pentecostal and Charismatic circles, some people are constantly coming forward with “words from God” for various individuals or for the church as a whole. At least half of the time, the so-called words from God are “off the wall”. How did I know Barb’s words were legitimate? She “nailed” the glaring issues and problems of each “up front” person in the church, INCLUDING SHE AND HER HUSBAND. One other woman on the worship team at the time got somewhat shaken by Barb’s word, feeling that she was not worthy to be up front. I remember telling that woman, “NONE of us are worthy to be up front. If it went by our worthiness, we’d all have to step down. But the word from God is that despite our shortcomings, we are called of God to do what we do and we are to trust HIM to flow through us and enable us to minister."

(This next part will sound very conceited and prideful on my part, so PLEASE read this whole posting before you pass judgment on me!) Yesterday, I attended the WEZE Pastors’ Luncheon at Lantana in Randolph. I ran into my old friend Sam Hollo and his wife Esther. Sam pastored Westgate (Evangelical Free) Church in Weston for many years. It’s a fairly large church. We were in the same pastors’ prayer group for many years. Sam now has his Doctorate and runs “The Carpenter’s Shop” ministry. He has a radio program Mondays through Fridays from 6:45 to 7 p.m. on WEZE (590 AM). I hadn’t seen Sam and Esther in awhile. He asked me how things were going and he paid me a great compliment. Sam said, “Bob, of all the MetroWest pastors I’ve heard preach, I’ve always believed you were the BEST preacher!” Boy, coming from someone like Sam Hollo, I could get a really big head after that one. It’s ironic, however, that on Wednesday, I had been reading Revelation chapter 8 and studying it. I wanted to get deeper into my study. I dug out a sermon tape of mine from July of 2000 and played it. I was SO disappointed. It was bad. My Bible exposition was sloppy and weak. I spent so much time digressing and telling jokes and stories and so forth that I couldn't follow the sermon...and what sermon there was, well it was awful. I thought, “Boy, what a terrible sermon! If I ever candidate for the pastorate of another church I’ll certainly NEVER use that as a demo. tape!”

Upon reflection, I realized why the sermon was so bad. That was Sunday, July 16, 2000. My father had died in June of that year. In the same year, my mother was in the final stages of bone cancer. SHE died on August 2 of 2000. I remember that on Saturday, July 15 I’d gone to the bank with my then teenage daughter Amy and helped her open her first checking account. I called my mother when I got back and she was SO THOROUGHLY DEPRESSED. She was very sick. She could hardly get out of bed, was very weak and very depressed. I was heartsick about it. On Monday, July 17 she was admitted to Norwood Hospital, and I was there. She rapidly deteriorated and never went back home. It’s understandable that in the midst of that, my mind was not on doing a study of Revelation 8, nor was my mind even on the church.

Through the years, I’ve been told that I’m a fantastic pastor by some people. I’ve also been told that I’m a terrible pastor by other people. I’ve been told that I’m a great preacher, teacher, and Bible expositor by some people such as Sam Hollo. I’ve also been told I’m a terrible preacher who acts more like a self-absorbed entertainer and has nothing of value to say. I’ve been told I should get an award for being such an outstanding pastor, and I’ve been told I’m not functioning as a pastor at all, and in fact, that I’m a disgrace.

Which positions are true? Well none of them. And all of them.

Wednesday, I heard that sermon tape and thought, “I should be ashamed. I’m in the wrong calling.” Thursday, I heard Sam Hollo’s compliment and I thought, “That’s RIGHT! I need to get back into RADIO ministry!” Both are extremes.
Which is right?

Barb is right. Or more correctly, what God had her say is right! I know pastors WELL. I know MANY pastors. I’ve seen most of the pastors of MetroWest churches behind the scenes. I’ve seen them at their best and I’ve seen them at their worst. What are they like? Great, and stupid. Kind, and jerks. Patient, and impatient. Righteous, and profane. Selfless, and selfish. Godly and ungodly. They’re people. They’re people who God has called (at least most of ‘em, 2 or 3 may have called themselves) who at times let the Holy Spirit flow through them and thus are greatly used of God, and who at other times quench the Spirit and disappoint God and man.

We all, clergy and laity need prayer. We all at times need to repent. We all need forgiveness. We need to respect and love one another, and sometimes we’ve pretty much all blown it. Pastors can have big egos. That CAN be bad. We’re really NOTHING without the Lord. That goes for all of us. Barb’s word from God was a good one. At the time, it did not discourage me. It helped and encouraged me.

My experiences this week have caused me to do a lot of thinking. One of my biggest mistakes in the past has been not showing enough appreciation to lay people in the church. No pastor would be ANYTHING and no church would be much of anything without dedicated, committed laypeople. I miss D.C. who was one of our ushers for many years. He has no idea how much his big smile, optimism, and warm handshakes encouraged me. His wife J.C. has no idea how much her sweetness and ministry to children also encouraged me. I miss D.K. who forced me to learn to use a modern computer and who also first got me on-line. I miss his wife B.K. who was a great singer and a great cook and was the woman who gave that prophetic word I’m writing about today. I miss S.A. who was the worship leader who didn’t feel worthy . She has a very humble spirit, and a LOT of faith! I miss C.B. and G.B. and I often think about their music ministry. I miss B.S. She was very outspoken and opinionated, but not maliciously- she just cared A LOT, especially about children and the “least of these”. I miss M.R. - at the time, he was barely more than a kid and he could drive me crazy, but BOY what a passion for God and for ministry he had! I miss J.A. and N.A. They had a special heart for the Lord and the church. I miss A.McC. She’s a character; her accent could be hard to understand, but she had one of the BIGGEST hearts I’ve ever seen!

It’s always dangerous to start naming people ‘cause you’ll forget somebody. If I didn’t mention you, please don’t be angry! On the one hand, I’m letting you know in this piece that pastors are human. Some of our sermons are great, some are average, and some are terrible. Some of our decisions are outstanding, and some of our decisions are shameful. We’re very consistent about some things, and we’re very inconsistent about other things. We make mistakes. So do you. We ALL need Jesus! We’re all under construction! That’s some of what I’ve been thinking about over the last few days.

When I first got saved, I thought Christians were almost perfect and pastors WERE perfect. Well, there’s the perception, and then there’s the reality.