A MORNING TO REMEMBER

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die...” (from Ecclesiastes 3:1-2)

In my fifty-five years on this earth, I have acquired a few nuggets of wisdom. One ironic fact I’ve observed is that WHAT THE WORLD REGARDS AS IMPORTANT AND WHAT GOD REGARDS AS IMPORTANT ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MATTERS! In just a few weeks as we get into the Advent season, many of us will be studying and preaching from the first couple of chapters of Luke’s Gospel. I’m always moved by the first part of Luke chapter 2 which talks about Caesar Augustus being Emperor and Cyrenius being Governor of Syria. These guys were big shots in the world, but as far as God was concerned the most important thing happening at that time was the birth of Jesus Christ in humble surroundings in Bethlehem.

You’ve got to be spiritually in tune with the Lord to truly discern and appreciate when this happens, but once in awhile God plunks you down into a situation that the world considers a yawn and of no importance, and yet that HE regards as supremely important. I was privileged to be part of such an event this past Saturday morning. Last Saturday morning I was part of the Memorial Service for Laureen (Swift) Todaro at Claflin House, 40 Taylor Street, just outside downtown Framingham. Pat Zampino, a Member of our church who was in attendance at this service commented to me on Sunday, “There was SUCH an anointing on that Memorial Service. I was SO blessed to be there!”

AMEN!

Claflin House is an apartment complex for the elderly and disabled. One of our Members, Tammy Perrault, lives there. Tammy suffers from arthritis and diabetes and is on Disability, but has pretty full mobility. Her neighbor Laureen (Swift) Todaro was born with spina bifida and was in a wheelchair most of her life. I didn’t know Laureen well, although I saw her around the neighborhood in her wheelchair quite a bit. Tammy was very close to Laureen and spent a lot of time giving her physical assistance as did Don Franklin, another of our Members. At our church, we all felt we knew Laureen, as we’d spent so much time praying for her and learning of her increasing physical challenges. I’d also gotten to know Laureen’s primary Personal Care Assistant Lisa Stowell from having left parking notices on Lisa’s car! We’ve found through the years that if we don’t leave notices on cars in the lots spelling out our parking policies, the lots will fill up with commuters for the train, and we won’t even be able to park! Please don’t misunderstand- I’d never tow away the car of a nurse or P.C.A. working at Claflin House, but I don’t always know whose car is whose! A few times I told that to Lisa; and each of us was subsequently relieved!

Laureen had gotten married back in the ‘90s to Sam Todaro, now deceased. He was also in a wheelchair and it was a marriage ceremony that was covered by the media. Sadly, it didn’t work out. A few years later, they were divorced. In more recent years, Laureen had found the love of her life, Arthur Ponticelli. I suspect Arthur has cerebral palsy. When Arthur walks, he literally staggers like a drunk. It’s honestly painful and uncomfortable to watch him walk...well stagger, and yet he’s constantly smiling. Arthur is hard to understand. His speech is badly slurred due to his disabilities. But Arthur and Laureen were deeply in love. In the South Street/Taylor Street neighborhood, we’d see Arthur pushing Laureen in her wheelchair down the street. It kind of made you feel the way you do at Christmas hearing about Tiny Tim happily telling that he hoped having the people at church see him would make them think of Him who healed the lame and opened the eyes of the blind.

Laureen had many health problems besides being in a wheelchair. Over the past six months, her condition had deteriorated and she had spent quite a bit of time hospitalized. Even so, she WAS expected to recover and come home to 40 Taylor Street, but it was not to be. A few days ago I received a phone call from a weeping and obviously devastated Tammy Perrault. At first I couldn’t imagine what Tammy could be THAT upset about, but after she struggled to tell me of Laureen's death, I certainly DID get it. Laureen was really like a sister to Tammy.

I was honored to be asked by Laureen’s mother and stepfather to conduct the Memorial Service here in Framingham. (There will be another service in a few days nearer to the family’s home in Connecticut.) Around twenty-one people packed into the small “Community Room” at Claflin House for the service. At first, I opened it up for those who wanted to share eulogies. I’d say at least eight people shared. Laureen’s counselor for the past ten years talked of how much Laureen inspired HIM. She never let her disabilities get in her way and was determined to succeed in life. Lisa, the Personal Care Assistant, shared of how Laureen had become much more of a friend to her than a “boss” and that Laureen had actually counseled HER through some difficult times. Arthur’s Mom shared that Laureen had made a tremendous impact in the life of her disabled son in ways she couldn’t imagine. I preached from the Book of Ecclesiastes a sermon entitled, “What’s Life All About?” While people are not always open to an evangelistic, Christ-centered sermon at a funeral, this group overall was quite open to it. A number of people told me of how the sermon had touched them.

This is humbling to admit, but I can be a very impatient person and a complainer. On Saturday, I learned from Laureen’s Mom that when Laureen was much younger, she began searching for a community where she could live on her own and where excellent services for the disabled were available. After much research, she concluded that Framingham, Massachusetts was that community. She made all the arrangements herself and moved from Windsor, Conn. (near Hartford) to Framingham. Laureen had taken a number of courses on-line to better herself and was always reaching for the stars, as it were. I could understand why her counselor had said he’d learned so much from her.

Yes, a lot was going on in Framingham last Saturday morning, but I think the most important event in God’s sight was Laureen (Swift) Todaro’s Memorial Service.

Once again, my deepest sympathy and condolences to Laureen’s family and friends.

Incidentally, this is Laureen’s Obituary as it appeared in the (Framingham, MA) MetroWest Daily News:

FRAMINGHAM Laureen (Swift) Todaro, 44, passed away on Friday November 6, 2009 at MetroWest Medical Center in Natick, MA. Born in Rockville, CT, daughter of Johann Swift-Steisel of Windsor, CT and Thomas Swift of Annapolis, MD, she grew up in Windsor. Laureen though wheelchair bound never let her disabilities consume her life. Growing up she especially enjoyed her many visits to Camp Hemlocks in Hebron, CT. Being independent was important to her and as an adult lived in Framingham, MA. She is survived by her parents, step father Donald Steisel, her sister Stacey Swift of Hartford, CT, brother Colby Swift and his wife Mary of Centreville, VA, and many other aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews and cousins. Laureen leaves her devoted boyfriend Arthur Ponticelli and his loving mother Ann Ponticelli. Laureen also leaves her special friends Donald Franklin, Tammy Perault, caretaker Lisa Stowell and other loving members of her Framingham family. A memorial service will be held on November 14th at 40 Taylor Street in Framingham, MA at 11:00 a.m. and on November 21st at the Poquonock Community Church, 1817 Poquonock Ave. in Windsor, CT at 11:00 am. In lieu of flowers contributions in Laureens memory can be made to Easter Seals Camp Hemlocks, 85 Jones St., P.O. Box 198, Hebron, CT 06248.