TWO GOOD FORGIVERS

“And he was angry, and would not go in: therefore came his father out, and entreated him.
And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment; and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends:
but as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf.
And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine.
It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.” (Luke 15:28-32)

That’s maybe a bit difficult to understand in the old King James Version. It comes at the end of Luke chapter 15, the “Prodigal Son” chapter. I heard a GREAT sermon about this by Pastor Lloyd Westover over 32 years ago. If you recall the events of Luke chapter 15, there was a father who had two sons. The younger of the two asked for his share of the inheritance (a real insult to his father...an incredibly insensitive thing to request). Amazingly, the father gave this to the younger son, who went off and spent it all in wild living. He ended up dirt poor and working feeding and taking care of PIGS! That’s about as low as it gets for a JEWISH boy! He finally decided to return to his father’s place, and offer to become a hired hand there. He remembered that even the hired hands at his father’s farm lived FAR better than he was doing at the pig farm. To the younger son’s amazement, his father met him with open arms. He “killed the fatted calf” and had a big feast for him. But the oldest son would have none of it! He resented his younger brother, and now he resented his father, as well, for throwing the younger brother a party. You can detect what I’d call “a real attitude” in the older son. The older son was bitter and unforgiving. Pastor Westover said he believed the REAL prodigal son was the older brother. He preached a strong sermon against self-righteousness and unforgiveness . I never forgot it.

Yesterday as I was out in the yard doing a great deal of “Fall outdoor work” I found myself thinking about two good forgivers I’ve known. These were each men who had authority over me at various times in my life and who were each rather strong-willed and intimidating individuals. Yet, each set a tremendous example in the area of forgiveness.

Now, forgiveness is a COMPLICATED subject. Admittedly, it’s far more complicated than can be covered in a simple blog posting. I’m NO “bleeding heart liberal”! If a person commits murder, I have no problem having the State execute that person. If a person damages property, I think somehow they should have to make restitution for that. If a person rapes, or commits some other serious crime, though they repent before God and receive His forgiveness, they still DO owe a debt to society. Even so, I’ve found people are SLOW to forgive! They’re like the story in Matthew chapter 18 about the guy who was forgiven a huge debt (like ten million dollars) but wouldn’t forgive the debt of a guy who owed HIM a few hundred bucks! Many don’t mean it when they pray, “And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” They’re more like a cartoon of The Family Circus by Bil Keane that I once read and laughed over. In the cartoon, little Jeffy prayed, “And forgive us our trespasses, as we give it to those who trespass against us.”!

Back to the two good forgivers. They are my father, Eugene A. “Gene” Baril, and my old boss at Christian Life Center in Walpole that I’ll call by his initials D.C.M. These two authority figures had a lot to do with my formation as a person and as a pastor. They were amazingly alike. Each were “Type A” personalities. Each was the youngest of a large family. Each were exceptionally good public speakers. Each could be very intimidating. Each were perfectionists.
Each had great senses of humor and could be lots of fun to be around, but each could also be very difficult to be around. My sister has commented that despite the comment, “Don’t cry over spilled milk,” she’s never seen anybody get so angry over spilled milk as our father. That’s true! If you spilled milk at the dinner table, he’d flip out like you’d just committed murder! I don’t think D.C.M. got upset about spilled milk but he certainly had his own pet peeves. I learned to never forget I’d turned the heat off. If he came in and the room was 45 degrees, well let’s just say he’d get up to 145 degrees really fast!

You may be thinking, “Boy, these two sure don’t SOUND like two good forgivers!” They don’t, do they? But they were. Well, my father has been dead for 9 years, but D.C.M. is very much alive so I guess I need to be careful about using the past tense too much! Lately, I’ve been wishing I could just sit down and have a talk with my father...maybe go out for ice cream with him or something. I wish I could thank him for being a good forgiver. I was no perfect kid. When I was 10 I pulled a false fire alarm. I think I wrote about that one other time. As a young adult, I smashed up two cars. I had scores and scores of other offenses. My father would get mad and give a lecture, and BOY could he give a lecture. He should have been a U.S. Senator...he’d have been the champion of filibusters! He could deliver a very intimidating lecture for two hours straight! But the wonderful thing about my father is, when it was over, it was over! He didn’t bring it up again. Whatever the “it” was, it never came up again. When he was done with the lecture and whatever punishment may have been inflicted, then that was it. You got a fresh start. There was NO going over the same ground again and again and again. He closed the door on that and just moved on. That’s also true of D.C.M. He’d call you in his office, tugging at his pants and his belt, and his nostrils spreading like a bull’s and he’d verbally let you have it!

I’d be thinking, “I’m going to get FIRED for sure!”

But like my father, when it was over, it was over. It didn’t come up again and again and again. It was over. It was like it never happened.

My mother was much more “religious” than my father was, but she also was much more likely to hold a grudge. She was much easier to talk to and much more pleasant to be around, but she also could bring up a five or ten year old incident and start rehashing it. I’d rather my father’s way!

No, I can’t tell that to my Dad, but I know D.C.M. reads this so he may get a laugh out of it. After his time at Christian Life Center Walpole, D.C.M. went through some serious failure and mistakes in his life. I don’t think I need to go into detail here. But in 2001, he made things right, and he called a public meeting to apologize to those he’d offended. I attended that meeting along with a number of people. Sadly, some of D.C.M.’s former parishioners would have nothing to do with it. I remember one man in particular who was very bitter and who sounded very much like the older kid in the prodigal son story. But my wife and I had no trouble going to the meeting, accepting D.C.M.’s statement, and giving him a completely fresh start. After all the times he’d done that with me, it was not so hard to do that for him.

I had planned to write this early this morning, but I was rushed doing other matters and just did not get to it until now. (I know it will give the posting time as 10:15 a.m. or something like that, but that’s Pacific time. I’m actually writing this a little after 1:00 Eastern time.) As can happen during the day, there have been a couple of incidents which have taken place today which may lead readers to believe this was written as a specific response to those incidents. It was not. I just didn’t get time to write this very early like I’d planned to! So, please don’t read anything into it; but I think we can all learn from those strong, intimidating, Type A personalities, Gene Baril and D.C.M. the lesson of “forgive and FORGET.”