Thursday, November 12, 2009

STUPID...

“Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment:
but I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire,” (Matthew 5:21-22)

Surveys tell us that the greatest fear most people have is NOT flying, nor heights in general, nor snakes, nor closed-in places; rather the greatest fear by far is the fear of speaking in public. Ironically, I’m generally very comfortable speaking in public. Frankly, I can be very uncomfortable in a lot of one-on-one situations, and in THOSE situations I tend to be a very shy person, but I thrive on speaking in public. When I do speak in public I tend to have a style that’s folksy and what some people would consider somewhat unprofessional and lacking “polish”. It’s a style that tends to be easy to follow and listen to; although through the years, I’d say 75% of the people who hear me speak very much like it, and 25% of the people who hear me speak very much don’t like it.

Yeah, it CAN make you feel bad and kind of defensive when people don’t like your speaking style. I remember that around 25 years ago when I was on staff at the old Christian Life Center in Walpole, one pleasant African-American gentleman told me he really disliked that I used the word “stupid” a lot when I preached. And I did. It was statements like, “To refuse to give your heart to Jesus is STUPID!” Or, “To disbelieve the Bible is STUPID!” Or, “To swear a lot is STUPID!” and on and on it went.

What did I think of that African-American’s criticism? Well, I guess at the time, I thought it was stupid! I was pleasant to him, but I just kind of blew him off. I don’t think I use the word “stupid” QUITE as much as I did back in the 1980s, but I know I’ve still used it a fair amount. I guess I’m changing at least a BIT, because of late ,I’m coming to dislike the word, myself.

I’ve heard people say that it’s wrong to call someone “stupid” but that it’s NOT wrong to call someone’s actions or beliefs “stupid”. Honestly, I think that’s a distinction without a difference! The dictionary actually defines “stupid” as:
1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull.
2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question.
3. tediously dull, esp. due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party.
4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio.
5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.
6. Slang. excellent; terrific.

I have a feeling that the ORIGIN of the word comes from number 5. Yes, I’ve used and overused the word “stupid” and I’m now feeling regretful and ashamed about that. And, in the spirit of “true confessions” I must also admit that when I watch “Jeopardy” it’s RARE for me to get through a program without yelling out, “What a DOPE!” at somebody’s answer. I’d sure be embarrassed if I was in the studio audience and yelling that out!

Yes, we can be quick to call people stupid. People say things like, “That guy’s so stupid he’s just a grease monkey!” Well, think about this: If your car’s engine is dead at 2 a.m. on Bay Road in Sharon would you rather have a non-mechanically inclined Ph.D. in English Literature from Harvard come by, or would you rather that “grease monkey” came by? I think we all know the answer. My first pastor in the Assemblies of God was Lloyd A. Westover. He was a big, loud, older gentleman with a lot of old-fashioned country wisdom. I remember him saying, “Everybody has SOMETHING to teach you,” and then adding, “And that guy digging ditches, you can learn something from him!” It’s true.

Back in the ‘90s. I used to hear one of my neighbors yelling at his kid and calling him “stupid” and usually throwing in a few four-letter-words, as well. That father got divorced from his wife awhile ago; boy, I wonder why?! Today, that kid is probably around 20. I see him hanging around with guys and girls his age, playing ball, driving up and down the street, etc. No matter what the expression with of mouth is, his eyes are always sad and pained looking.

Incidentally, “raca” in the Aramaic language, which is quoted in the Bible passage above, is kind of like our word “stupid”. That word is presented as being very displeasing to God.

Yes, I kind of blew off that pleasant African-American guy twenty-five years ago. I was immature, and I just didn’t get what he was saying. But I think I do, now. Speaking habits ARE difficult to break, but I’m finding HEARING the word “stupid” to be so distasteful that I’m going to try to stop using it, or to at least drastically limit using it.

Finally, I hope you don’t think this posting is stupid...

1 comment:

jon TK said...

Indeed, the word does originate from being in a stupor. As such, though its usage has changed, the most accurate use of the word can NOT be applied to things or behaviors, but ONLY to people.

I hate to see the word considered like "retarded", a word which you can never use, even in a proper context. Curiously, I just dreamed last night about saying "retarded". Let's remember the Bible uses the word "stupid". So I'd hate to see it completely disappear. But overuse can be a problem. I think what people hate most about it is when it carries a dismissive air. So it's less the word, and more the way it's used. And I think I have a sense of why you've come to dislike it recently.