A WONDERFUL LIFE

“And Jabez was more honourable than his brethren: and his mother called his name Jabez, saying, Because I bare him with sorrow.
And Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, Oh that thou wouldest bless me indeed, and enlarge my coast, and that thine hand might be with me, and that thou wouldest keep me from evil, that it may not grieve me! And God granted him that which he requested.” (I Chronicles 4:9-10)

About a decade ago, Bruce Wilkinson wrote a bestseller entitled, “The Prayer of Jabez”, drawing inspiration, insight and encouragement from the prayer of this obscure guy named in the boring book of First Chronicles. As far as we can tell, Jabez did not achieve fame and fortune during his lifetime back in the ancient Middle East, but Wilkinson made his name a “household word” in the homes of North American Evangelical Christians. I continue to pray the prayer of Jabez every morning- when I’m in the shower!

Jabez “was more honourable than his brethren”. I wonder if he realized that. Maybe not. Speaking of the shower, this morning in the shower, I found myself thinking about that famous Christmas movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life”. WTKK’s Michael Graham recently wrote about, “It’s a Wonderful Life” on his blog. He hates the film. Michael sees George Bailey as a pathetic socialist kind of character, fighting the capitalist Mr. Potter, having a bunch of poor immigrants dependent upon him for housing, living in a run down old house, and needing people to rescue him with laundry baskets full of cash on Christmas Eve 1945. Well, I suppose that’s ONE way to see George Bailey, but I don’t see it that way at all.

Life is full of George Baileys. They’re often not understood nor appreciated. They just kind of slip into the background, mostly doing right things, and keeping others afloat in one way or other. I eulogized each of my parents at their funerals. My father was confident, brave, outspoken and achieved a number of honors in his life. My mother left most of her plans, hopes, and dreams unrealized. Yet, more people came to my mother’s funeral than came to my father’s. And, person after person came up to my sister and me at her wake to tell us how my mother had touched their lives. You see, my mother was a “George Bailey” type. That’s exactly how I eulogized her. She dreamed of getting out of Canton, Mass. the way George Bailey dreamed of getting out of Bedford Falls. She had no idea how many lives she touched, and she’d have been shocked to know her funeral was larger than my Dad’s.

My mother, Virginia Mary (Richard) Baril, had about a year’s worth of college credits from Northeastern University. She went there part time in the late 1940s. Mom’s parents discouraged her from going to college. From their point of view, college was no place for women. And, she was so “well educated” with a high school diploma! My maternal grandparents never went beyond grade school. So, Mom didn’t get to graduate from college which was one of her dreams. My mother was the most avid reader I’ve ever known...well, my wife comes in a close second! Mom devoured books of English literature and devoured books of British and French history. When any of those categories came on Jeopardy, she’d “ace” them! I truly believe she had the equivalent of at least a Master’s Degree in European history. Mom wanted so badly to travel to Europe. She never did. She also wanted to visit Prince Edward Island, her mother’s birthplace. I’ve been to P.E.I., but Mom never made it there. My mother hated math. Ironically, she spent many years as the Payroll Clerk of Draper Brothers Company (a textile mill). Mom depended on the computers and computer programmers to get her job done. Most of all, a wonderful Christian accountant there, Dorothy Anderson of Easton, gave her enormous emotional and prayer support. My mother hated her actual job, but she treasured her friendship with Dorothy Anderson who was in many ways a mentor to her.

Mom was deeply religious but struggled to understand life’s inequities. She believed that if a person went to church, prayed, and did all the right things, God should cut them some slack and give them a pleasant life. Mom felt God HADN’T done that for her...that He kind of cheated and failed her in life. We had a lot of long phone conversations in her final years that would leave me very drained. Mom didn’t understand that like George Bailey she was truly rich in friends. When my father became very ill with Alzheimer’s Disease, she became his caregiver. Dad absolutely should have gone into the nursing home about 18 months before he finally went there, but she felt she had to do all she could as a caregiver before it got to that point. My sister used to say that if things were reversed, my father would have placed her into a nursing home much sooner. That’s true. Mom, however, believed in doing not what was easy and not what worked out best, but what was RIGHT.

I’ve often exasperated pragmatic people when I’ve told them that I believe it’s far more important to do “what’s right” than it is to do “what works”. Yes, we George Bailey types (I’m one too) are the ones who vote for third party candidates and believe in “lost causes”. But we also tend to believe in people that nobody else believes in. My friend Jon had a older sister who had been a “druggie” and who’d call on the phone “talking ragtime” to use my expression. My mother would get on the phone, listen to her, and encourage her. She never considered her a bother.

George Bailey went to jump off a wrought iron bridge. At times, my mother at least verbally toyed with suicidal thoughts- and at times, I have, too. The message that the world would have been a far worse place if George Bailey had never been born is such an important message! Mom never went to Europe, never got a degree, never got a book published, never became famous; her obituary said “Virginia Baril, 76, Payroll Clerk”. She’d have been FURIOUS to be identified that way! No she was “Virginia Baril- caring person who touched many lives”.
I hope I’m similarly thought of! Are you a George Bailey? Don’t jump off that bridge, it’s a wonderful life! And, is there a “George Bailey” in your life? As my friend, D.C.M. says, “Don’t send them flowers when they’re dead! Do it now!”

Yes, let’s smile today get out there and make this world a better place! (And, Michael Graham, I hope you’re reading this!)