40,000 CALLS - WHAT I'VE NOTICED

"If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men." (Romans 12:18)

My mother's uncle "Duke" MacDonald (who was obviously my great-uncle) used to love to spend the days of his retirement just going to some busy place like a subway station. He would sit and WATCH PEOPLE. He called this activity "people watching" and he said it was amazingly interesting to do. After working for sixteen months at a telephone answering service, I've probably taken 40,000 phone calls. No kidding! In talking to THAT many callers, I have noticed a LOT of patterns of human behavior.

Some time ago, I wrote a piece about the word "perfect". I'd noticed in taking phone calls, that women use the word "perfect" frequently, and men almost NEVER use that word. (I still stand by that!) In taking 40,000 calls I have also noticed other habitual vocal patterns. In telling a personal story, especially in describing a child's medical issue, many, many women start out using the word "SO". Calls go something like this:

"SO she came in from playing and I noticed a tick on her leg."

"SO he tripped on the steps and sprained his ankle."

"SO it started raining, and all my joints started to hurt."

It works for non-medical calls, too:

"SO the wind started blowing and I noticed shingles blowing around our front yard."

"SO I got a summons to go to court and I need a lawyer."

SO. Why "SO"?! Rarely, a man will use "SO" like that, but I'd say the ratio of women "SO" users to men "SO" users is easily 30 to 1.

Another thing about female callers: They have far less patience with the foibles of medical offices than do men. It's VERY common for medical offices to open up late, close for the day early, and take very long lunch periods. It just IS. When an office is supposed to have opened at 8 a.m. and in fact still has not opened by 8:20 a.m., that's frustrating to patients. Most men will deal with this situation somewhat good-naturedly , saying something like, "Hey, I guess they stayed up late watchin' the Red Sox! I'll call back later!" Women will much more commonly say in a somewhat sharp and annoyed tone, "I THOUGHT they opened at EIGHT!!" In all fairness, though, women are LESS likely to "totally lose it" over the phone than are men. Men take most frustrations and disappointments with medical offices pretty well, BUT there's that one in fifty who has absolutely no patience. They'll yell, swear, and threaten, and NOTHING will calm them down! That one in fifty type man is VERY scary! Such a guy is the type who may smash the windows of a doctor's car with a tire iron!

Imagine that a five-year-old child has a fever and is vomiting. It's 7:45 a.m. The pediatrician's office opens at 8. The call comes in at 7:45 a.m. I explain the options to the caller: I can page an on-call doctor; I can take a message and FAX it to the office; or the caller can call back in fifteen or twenty minutes and most likely reach the office. What do you think women will tend to do? What will men tend to do? Men will tend to say, "I'll call back." A lot of women will have me page the doctor, and some will have me take a message for the office.

I sincerely hope this will not come across as racist, and I DON'T mean it that way, but a person's ethnicity DOES make a definite difference in how they handle medical situations on the telephone. What I have written about a man calling about a sick child, for instance, does NOT apply to men who are originally from India. Typically, NO ethnic group is more concerned about the health of one of their children than those from India. People from India frankly SEEM like they expect all of society to stop and pay attention because they have a sick child. Seriously. Chinese parents, and others from the Far East are ALMOST as intense as parents from India, but not quite.

People who live in poor neighborhoods (who are of all racial and ethnic backgrounds) are usually very concerned about the health of their children but they tend to take disappointments and setbacks (doctors offices being closed; calls not being returned) as just part of life. People from wealthy neighborhoods expect their doctor and his or her office to be open "24/7"! If not, they consider that "UNACCEPTABLE!".

SO what do you think of my observations? If you make a comment, that would be PERFECT!