CAIN COMMENTS

If a camera crew had followed me around yesterday (Friday) they would probably have thought I'm a really bizarre guy.  I must say, yesterday I WAS even more bizarre and eccentric than usual!  First thing in the morning I watched a videotape of a "King of the Hill" episode.  It's from last season and the storyline is the crazy experiences that Hank and his family have when they join a megachurch.  I wanted that to be fresh in my mind, because I'm showing it for my Men's Fellowship this morning.  I even wrote several good (at least I think they're good) discussion questions to use after we watch that video piece.

Then, I began thinking about my sermon from Genesis 4 on Cain and Abel and I decided to create a monologue from Cain that he might give were he able to travel through time, speak English and speak to us.  I'm going to open my sermon with it tomorrow.  I realize that a few of our church people will read this blog before Sunday so they'll know about it, but I hope they'll just let everybody else be surprised when they hear it.  This piece is called: "Cain's Comments":

   I just can't win.  It's just not fair.  It's NOT fair!  I'm a very nice guy.  I'm a very talented guy. I'm a very capable guy.  I'm a firstborn - GUY that is.  My mother said, "With the help of the Lord I have brought forth a MAN."  Yeah.  She'd already had enough girls to fill 3  Girl Scout troops!  But I was the first guy.  That should count for something!

   I work hard.  I'm not lazy.  I believe in God.  What do you think, I'm stupid?  Of course I believe in God...and I worship God, and I serve God.  I'm very religious.

   I bring God offerings of the fruits of the ground.  It's not junk.  It's good fruit and vegetables.  I'm very faithful with that- with my offerings.

   My brother- oh, my brother.  He brought fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock as offerings.  ANIMAL KILLER!
And God just LOVED it!  I mean you should see the sappy look on my brother's face.  Sappy! Try to be around this guy for a few days.  Believe me, you'd be sick of him in 24 hours.

   Now, me. I've got ambition.  I'm going to build the first city, and I'm not some selfish jerk.  I'm going to name it after my son.  I know,I know, where did I get my wife?  How long do you think Adam and Eve lived?  Check it out. How many kids do you think they had?  Three?  Check out Genesis 5:4 among other places.  They had lots and lots of children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren.  And  I'm male number one.

   I really like most of them, too.  I really get along with most of them.  Except sappy, super-holy, animal slaughtering, "I'm right and everybody's wrong" Abel.

   God says I can't handle what's on my doorstep.  What do I look like, a dope?  I can handle it.  Don't YOU tell me I can't.  Who do you think YOU are, Abel the Second or something?

   Abel and I are going to take a little walk.  We're going to take a little walk out in the field.  We'll just see what will happen then!

   I know, I know, "Bad Boys, Bad Boys, Whatcha Gonna Do ... ?!"
   Listen, I'm not the bad boy- he is!

Well, now this is Bob Baril talking again.  I hope you liked that.  I just thought I'd share it.  If you are in the Framingham area and would like to visit our small church tomorrow morning, you're welcome!  We don't bite.  And no, we don't plan any "Cain" style murders, either!