TRUE CONFESSION

“And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3 New King James Version)

This past week, Lord caused me to “consider the plank in my own eye”.

Here is the story:

Around nineteen years ago, a man named Sam and his wife, along with their severely developmentally disabled daughter, moved from Cape Cod to Millis, MA.  They began attending our church in Framingham.  Some of our church people used to vacation on Cape Cod and worshiped at the church on the Cape where Sam’s family attended, so it was only natural  that when they moved to MetroWest, Sam and his family would want to worship with the people they’d met.

As I recall, at that time, Sam’s daughter was 24-years-old.  She was on the developmental level of (maybe) a 1-year-old.  We had sort of a nursery/crying room immediately at the back of the very small church’s sanctuary.  (We had a different church building at that time.)  Sam and his wife brought their 24-year-old daughter and put her in the nursery/crying room just as though she was a 1-year-old.  She was kind of big...well, not “fat”, but bigger than the average 24-year-old and there she was taking up at least one fourth of the small room.  I know this sounds terrible, and I KNOW God loves their daughter, but it just plain looked and seemed weird.  At that time, I had three kids under the age of 6, including a 1-year-old.  I’m ashamed to admit it, but I was really uncomfortable about the 24-year-old being in the nursery.  I knew that if I were a “lay person” and I visited a church with my family, and came upon this scenario, I wouldn’t come back.  I spoke to a few of our church’s Board members and got them to agree with me.  I then spoke to the parents (over the phone) and expressed my concerns.  Sam actually didn’t take it too badly. I ran into him outside of the church a few times after that and he was very friendly.  But Sam’s wife was quite offended.  They never came back to our church.  

Sam and his family began attending another small church in another MetroWest community.   It turns out, Sam is a very talented businessman and motivator.  Sam became the “right hand man” of that church’s pastor.  He became Men’s Director and a key Board member.  Over the next ten years, that church grew from 30 people to 250.  Several years ago,Sam and his family moved out-of-state.

I hadn’t thought about my phone call to Sam and his wife for years, but God brought it to my mind last week.  Many times I have felt sorry for myself because I’m a person that influential people have tended to marginalize and talk down to.  Suddenly, I realized I’d marginalized THEM.
I never prayed about my decision to call them.  I never even prayed about the fact that the disabled daughter made me feel uncomfortable.  I was way out of line.

Imagine if Sam had stayed at our church.   Would WE have been the tiny church that grew to 250 (now over 300)?  Maybe.  So, folks, learn a lesson from my stupidity!

I’m actually trying to get either a street address or e-mail address for Sam so I can write to him and apologize.  I know it’s about 19 years too late.
I admit this posting doesn’t make me look too great, but it shows I’m human.