BOB BARIL'S MOST WANTED!

I'm writing this a little before 9 on Friday night - on Friday the 13th of all nights; but I'm NOT superstitious!

I've got very mixed emotions tonight.

I know that the mood above says "Quiet".  AOL gives you several moods to choose from.  This was the best choice, but it's only about 40% accurate.  I'm VENTING right now.  I'm actually NOT angry.  I AM tired.  And my mood is really reflective and philosophical, and those choices are not available from AOL's list.  

Some of you know the church I pastor is very small.  If my wife did not have a decent full-time job with family plan health insurance, I'd HAVE to be a "bi-vocational" pastor.  Ironically, experts have found that pastors of churches of 50 or fewer people generally work much harder than do pastors of churches of 300 or more people, but that's a topic for another day.  Some of you know that our little church's attendance is down 30% in comparison to a year ago and our financial income is down about 40% compared to a year ago.  In addition, the losses of those "30%" people create other problems such as the one I faced tonight.  "Tammy" a 35ish woman at our church has many problems- most which are not of her doing.  She's overcome many difficulties and many unfair situations.  Tammy got some devastating news this week.  In comparison to how she'd have handled it a year or two ago, she's doing very well, but Tammy has few CLOSE friends and has only a minumal support system outside of the church.  Friday night is our Bible Study.  The Friday night Bible Study is the poorest attended event at our church, although it means a LOT to several people.  One of those "several" is Tammy.  Up until three months ago, there was a married couple who attended our church that attended Friday night Bible Study every week  ALMOST NO MATTER WHAT.  Occasionally the wife would have back trouble and would miss the study, but her husband, (a frankly well-meaning but very loud and very talkative guy) was always present.  Since that couple left the church in early January, I've had a problem on Friday nights.  IF my wife is unable to attend due to another commitment, and IF the only person who shows up for Bible Study is a woman, well, ethically and morally (and everything else) it's a very bad idea for me to meet with that woman alone.  I've had to cancel several Bible Studies for that reason.

My wife and adult son have a commitment in Worcester this Friday night, next Friday night, and the following Friday night.  

Tonight Tammy showed up in a very needy condition. No, she wasn't hysterical or anything like that, but she needed the study.  I actually tried to reach one woman from the church just to ask her to come and be at the study for Tammy's sake, but when I called that woman, all I got was her answering machine.

"Please, people," Tammy said aloud several times.  "Please come.  Please come.  Please come BACK."

Tammy actually covered her face and looked pained.

"Are you OK?" I asked.

"It's just that my sinuses are really bothering me," she replied.  "You know, I REALLY made an EFFORT to be here tonight."

I did the best I could to encourage her.  Actually, I was feeling just a tad resentful because I'd taken time to prepare the study, run off handouts, etc.

At 7:40 p.m. (ten minutes after the official start) I sent a disappointed Tammy home.

Some folks from OUTSIDE of our church may be thinking, "What's the matter with your Board and your Leaders?  What are they, a bunch of jerks?!"

Well. actually our Board is now down to five people counting me.  One Board member is 78-years-old and does a lot at the church- probably too much.  One is 64 and has suddenly had an onslaught of all sorts of health problems.  One is my age and healthy but lives over 30 miles from Framingham.  And the other is my wife.

The 78-year-old and the 64-year-old have each been leaders and workers at this church for 25 years and they are tired.  Honestly, they're about ready to be "retired" from leadership and have "new blood" take over--- people who are under 55 and filled with energy and vision AND who have a passion for Jesus Christ and His church.  Our church actually needs PEOPLE LIKE THAT even more than we need money!

98% of those who read this just don't fit the bill of what I'm talking about, but you can pray for our church and for me, and I'd appreicate that.  As I write there's a documentary on PBS about people who just can't lose weight no matter how they try...because of their subconscious mind, etc.  I can relate to that BECAUSE there IS a problem with people who pastor very small churches long term. They become SO into preparing sermons and preparing classes and preparing Board meetings, and repairing photocopiers, and trying to figure out how to pay the bills, and trying to figure out how to minister to the needy people under their care...they become SO caught up in all that stuff that they actually LOSE vision- and they actually turn inward and are almost crippled in their ability to "think outside the box" and reach out to new people.  Just like those fat people in the documentary who are ashamed to admit the mental trap they are in, I'm kind of ashamed to admit I fall right into the statistic of the small church pastor who's trapped in a limited way of thinking and functioning.

I was up VERY late last night.  I did not get much sleep last night.  I had a couple of stressful ministry situations today.  Part of me is glad to be home, in my pajamas, sitting at the computer with the TV in the background instead of teaching a Bible study.  If I were at the church, I'd be wrapping up the teaching right now, and taking prayer requests.  It HAS been a somewhat easier night for me.  But it STUNK for Tammy.

I don't mean to sound like a sensational Southern evangelist, but SOMEONE reading this just got an insight into the needs of churches and people that's blown your mind.  THAT'S the Holy Spirit talking!  Others wonder, "WHAT can I do?"  You can pray.  And,  for that Friday night Bible study, I honestly need a strong mature Christian man and a strong mature Christian woman from the Framingham area (whether or not you're from the church I pastor) who would say, "Unless I'm away on vacation or I'm very sick, I'm going to be at that Friday night Bible Study every week to help Pastor Baril but even moreso to help needy people like Tammy."  Of course, if you're a stranger to me, you don't have to join the church I pastor or anything like that, but I'd HAVE to have a recommendation from a pastor telling me you're a mature, reliable Christian of integrity and stability before I'd let you help me wtih this.

The Bible Study is only one area of need at our church, but right now it's one of our greatest needs.  I need help with vision and outreach.  I need Christians who are willing to pray and work.   There are athletes who train and train and train. It's their life.  There are people in various hobbies who devote unbelievable hours to the hobby.  There are gardeners who spend the warm weather months working their hearts out on the garden.

The large churches of MetroWest are filled with Christians who may not be doing a whole lot but who could come and help a pastor like me and a little church like ours and make all the difference for someone like a Tammy.

That's all, but in the spirit of "Most Wanted" (John Walsh) I will add :  "You CAN make a difference!"