THE JOURNAL (a "follow up")

“And he said unto them, Art thou he that should come, or do we look for another?” (Matthew 11:3)

This posting is a “follow up”.  It is the sequel to my previous posting entitled, “ZIP IT !”.  If you have not read, “ZIP IT !”  I think you should do so before you read this.

This has been quite a week of reflecting and repenting and renewing and praying and all sorts of “stuff” like that for me.  Most of you know I’m sort of doing a “partial e-mail fast” this week.  I’m writing a lot fewer e-mails than I usually do (and one pastor friend has called me, “The King of the E-Mails”!)  Well, this week, the King is more like the Serf!  I have been responding to e-mails 24 hours after I receive them, if at all, with just a couple of important exceptions.  I have been doing lots of soul-searching, and I have deeply appreciated thoughtful feedback I have received.

Several people that I respect a lot thought that I’ve become much too whiny and depressed over the events of the past few weeks and days and that I’ve forgotten how to be encouraging and edifying.  Those are difficult words to hear, but I’ve had to mull them over and to conclude there IS a lot of truth in these criticisms.  One of the things we all need to learn to do in life is to love people enough to correct them and to tell them the things they may not want to hear.  In the Book of Ephesians it’s called, “speaking the truth in love”.  (that line is from Ephesians 4:15)

On the one hand, I’m very “real”- I’m not at all a phony!  On the other hand, I guess one that take that “real” stuff too far sometimes.  Recently I watched a video piece about a relatively new church in Texas where everybody (including the pastoral staff) dress REALLY casual at all times, and everybody (including the pastors and leaders) are COMPLETELY real and open with everybody else.  Their slogan is actually, “No Perfect People Welcome at this Church!”  One woman commented that the pastors say things like that they’re in rotten moods or that they really messed up or failed here or there, and everybody thinks that’s great,   I must convince that as I watched that video piece, I thought, “Boy, except for the dressing really casual, THAT’S the place for me!!”

Well, maybe it isn’t!  Up until around twenty-five years ago, pastors of evangelical Protestant churches were expected to be perfect, and I mean PERFECT.  They looked perfect. The spoke perfect.  They prayed perfect.  They preached perfect.  They loved perfect.  They led perfect. They didn’t sin.  Well, maybe one little sin every couple of years, but that was about it!  There are still a lot of guys in the ministry over age 65 who come across like that.  THEN, we’ve got the new generation swearing, saying they’re in rotten moods, and going out to catch the latest R rated movies.  I guess there’s gotta me a middle ground someplace (doesn’t there?).

The Bible verse at the top of this posting is from the story of John the Baptist and his lapse of faith while in prison near the time of his execution.  It’s kind of a sad verse.  John the Baptist was a mighty man of God.  John the Baptist was a great prophet and a great preacher.  John the Baptist was the greatest of all prophets leading up to Jesus Christ, the Messiah.  John the Baptist proclaimed Jesus as the “Lamb of God”.  YET, in prison, John the Baptist got down and whiney and depressed and doubting.  The New Testament says John the Baptist was a man “in the spirit and power of Elijah”.  Like Elijah, he was a mighty prophet.  (Remember Elijah’s great victory over the prophets of Baal?!)  But like Elijah, he easily doubted and got depressed and whiney to the point that it’s embarrassing.  You may recall that Elijah felt sorry for himself, said he was the only one serving God, and said he just wanted to die.  It’s hard to read such whiney, self-pity and doubt coming from such great men of God.

Jesus actually commended John the Baptist in Matthew 11.  I think He did that because He knew John’s doubt and negativity would badly tarnish his previous good reputation, and Jesus was trying to save him from that.

While both men were much greater than I am, I’m so much like Elijah and John the Baptist that it’s SCARY.  I’m a powerful preacher and Bible teacher.  I’ve absolutely been used as a Prophet of God.  (Some reading this will believe it and some will not.)  I’ve absolutely been used in several spiritual gifts, including healing.  Yet, I’m capable of depression and fear and whining and self-doubt that would make even Elijah and John the B. want to kick me in the rear end!

So this week (actually the past few weeks) has been and IS very difficult for me, but I’m making changes.  On Sunday afternoon, I will go back to more of a “normal” way of handling e-mail, although I DO intend to never respond to a controversial or confrontational e-mail without letting 24 hours elapse, first.  AND, I’m going to do better with this blog.  I may still share about my struggles, problems, and bad days, BUT never without including something positive, motivational, and ministry-oriented.  At least that’s my goal.

Comments?  You can post ‘em or e-mail to revrbaril@aol.com