AN E-MAIL "KISS OFF"

“That I may not seem as if I would terrify you by letters.” (I Corinthians 10:9)

I was “kissed off” by someone (by e-mail) today.

First of all, I want to explain the expression “kissed off” just in case you aren’t familiar with it. It does NOT mean anything dirty or obscene or anything like that. It means someone in a civil yet curt manner rejected you. An example could be something like, “Harry kissed off those Jehovah’s Witnesses who came to his door.” When you “kiss somebody off” it does not mean you’re all loud and angry and overtly hostile. It just means you give them a soft but cold and definite rejection.

I know I’ve written my opinions about the etiquette of e-mail Forwards and mass e-mailings in the past. I don’t want to repeat all that. I will say I probably receive somewhere around 60 e-mail Forwards and mass e-mailings a week. I will always at least scan them. If the e-mail interests me, which is true about 40% of the time, I will thoroughly read it. If I feel the e-mail would be enjoyed by others or would be of some interest to others, I forward it on. (In the interest of full disclosure, I have also started at least 20 mass e-mailings in my twelve years on-line. I’ve found you’ve really got to be savvy when you do that, and exactly how you do that, or you can be “suspended” by your server. I’ve been twice “suspended” by AOL.) Of the 60 or so Forwards and mass e-mailings I receive per week, I probably forward around 7 of them along.

When I send along a Forward, I do NOT send it to my whole address book which has at least 110 names in it. Rather, I will go through my address book and click “send” for those to whom I believe the e-mailing might be of particular interest. (I did send a “Forward” last night which seems to have provoked an acquaintance of mine and I’ll share more about that later in this posting. ) If my memory serves me correctly, only 3 people have ever “kissed me off” after I sent them a Forwarded e-mail or mass e-mailing.

One was a female attorney here in Framingham that I do not know well. I had her e-mail address because we each belong to the same local civic organization. She wrote saying I’m “always complaining about something” and that she receives over 500 e-mails a day and does not have time for my mailings. I wrote her back a short apology by e-mail and assured her she’d never get any more mailings from me, and she never has.

Another was a guy I’ve known fairly well for over ten years. He sent me a short e-mail, similar to the attorney's, implying how important he is, and asking me to continue sending him personal e-mail but no Forwards or mass e-mailings. I was a little surprised, but I obliged. I happen to know he reads my blog, so maybe he is a little surprised I mentioned this! My friend D.C.M. of Stoughton, MA has some very good advice for people like the above two that get SO agitated by receiving an e-mail they don’t want. “That’s what the delete button is for!” says D.C.M. He is absolutely right!

Yesterday, I received a Forward from a very good friend who lives in Florida. He’s a clergyman who is semi-retired and who had a very active and effective ministry in the Boston area, especially in the MetroWest area, for many years. The e-mail was put out by the denomination he belongs to. It was a strong endorsement of the recent statements from the Vatican (my friend and his denomination are NOT Roman Catholic) about the hypocrisy and sin of “pro-choice” Catholic politicians.

I read it over and although it was “very Catholic” (well, duh!) and obviously anti-Democrat and very pro-life, I thought it was interesting enough to pass on to a number of people in my address book...at least for them to read and think about. Most of you know I’m a registered Republican who would be described as a “conservative” on most issues, although I think (overall) I’m actually a moderate who leans right; and I’m very pro-life/anti-abortion. I have family and friends who are pro-choice. I also have family and friends who are Democrats and independents. (Incidentally, I vote for SOME Democrats; I’m not one of these “party only” Republicans!) I decided I WASN’T going to forward that along to anyone I knew to be pro-choice or that I knew to either be Jewish, agnostic, or atheist. I ended up forwarding my friend’s e-mail to exactly 50 people.

To my surprise, this morning’s “kiss off e-mail” was from a clergyman here in the MetroWest suburbs of Boston. I will call him “Ron”...but that’s not his real name. Ron is in his 50s. Ron is an evangelical. Ron tends to be conservative theologically and liberal politically. Ron’s e-mail to me said, “Please remove me from your mailing list”.

Now, was that a “kiss off” or what?!

This is a guy I KNOW PERSONALLY. This is a guy I’ve had a number of personal conversations with. This is a guy I’ve been out to lunch with. This guy and I mutually belong to at least two local organizations. He didn’t even write, “BOB, please....” He wrote impersonally as if I was some e-mail sales spammer or something. The other two who kissed me off were actually a little more personal.

You know what’s really awkward? I happen to be this year’s Secretary of one of the organizations to which we mutually belong! That means I HAVE to send him e-mailings from that organization. I will continue to do THAT.

In the past, regarding another organization I belong to, I’ve sometimes sent this guy e-mails about what happened at the meeting if I happened to go and he happened to miss it. He’s always appreciated that.

I have to assume he’s voting for Obama/Biden which is fine. This is America. Our soldiers have fought and died for the freedom to vote as you please and to support the candidates of your choice. I assume he may be a Democrat; well, he probably is. I THOUGHT he was pro-life; now I’m not sure. As I wrote, I have pro-choice friends. I have Democrat friends. I SO wish this guy had just written me something like, “Bob, That was a very offensive e-mail to me. I felt you condemned my politics unfairly.” THEN, I could have contacted him and we could have had a dialog, even if we agreed to disagree.

I have not e-mailed this guy back.

Believe me, I know some folks on the political right can be real jerks. I do NOT defend conservatives or Republicans who act like jerks. But on the other side, the problem I see with SO many liberals and left-leaning Democrats is that if you say or write ANYTHING contrary to their beliefs they “kiss you off”. This is a perfect example of that!