PULLING A FAST (Lane) ONE!

"There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death." (Proverbs 16:25)

Experts who've studied this issue at length have concluded that women's brains are designed such that they can multitask MUCH better than men can. I agree with that conclusion. If I try to multitask, sometimes I can make stupid mistakes, and sometimes I can even make dangerous mistakes. I realize this will "fire up" the anti cell phones behind the wheel crowd, but about three months ago, I was in an intense conversation on the cell phone with a friend. During this conversation, I got off the MASS PIKE at the 395/290 EXIT in Auburn. I have driven through this spot almost every day for over a year on my commute home to Webster from Framingham. I was so engaged in the conversation that I THOUGHT I was pulling up to the toll lane I ALWAYS pull up to. The overhead light was GREEN, and everything SEEMED normal. I pulled up to the window, and to my SHOCK there really was no "window". Instead, there was just a hunk of yellow metal. It was the WEIRDEST thing. I have a lot of vivid dreams in which totally unusual and unexpected things happen. This felt exactly like that. The exception is that often when that happens, I will suddenly wake up and think, "Boy, THAT was weird! What was THAT foolish scenario all about?!"

I sure wanted to immediately wake up and find myself in bed, but that did not happen. Suddenly it HIT me. I was in the FAST LANE...the lane for people who have windshield transponders. In fact, we DO have a transponder on our 2003 Honda sedan but NOT on the little old green 1995 Subaru Impreza that I usually drive. (I call it my "Lt. Columbo car". Now, HE had a 1950 Peugeot, but the car is of a similar ilk.) HOW could this happen? I was in the FAST LANE! Very quickly, I calculated my chances of BACKING UP and shifting to the cash lane. Had I done this IMMEDIATELY without one second's hesitation, I just MIGHT have made it. But one second was all it took for not one but two cars to come up behind me with angry drivers BLASTING their horns.

Talk about a NO WIN situation!

All I could do was drive through. And I did.

Several weeks later, a "VIOLATION NOTICE" arrived in the mail. It was a $50. ticket, due on March 19. There were all sorts of steps one COULD take to appeal the ticket. I thought about that. It just seemed very unfair. I've had very few violations in my driving career. Granted, I HAVE been stopped and gotten a few tickets, but in almost forty years, I think I've gotten maybe 3 or 4 tickets which is really not a lot. The most recent previous one was ten years ago. A brand new flashing red light had been added to an intersection in Framingham where there'd previously been no stop sign or traffic light. Just a few days after it had been installed, I habitually blew right through it, forgetting the new light was there. Suddenly there was a Framingham police car behind me with blaring flashing lights. I explained to the cop that I'd forgotten about the new light. He was very nice, totally understood, but still wrote me a ticket. And, I paid it a few days later.

I thought about it and thought about it. I really didn't want to mail in the $50. It seemed like legalized extortion. But today, I mailed it in. I don't suppose I will ever do that again. I know, you may wonder why I don't just get a transponder for the Subaru. Honestly, I don't prefer paying that way, and I don't like the fact that the transponder has a record of where you travel and where you pay tolls. It's a little too "Big Brother" for me, although my better half prefers the transponder and I see no reason why she shouldn't have it.

Of course, there's also the whole issue of tolls in general. Do you know that for every dollar paid in tolls on the MASS PIKE only twenty-eight cents actually goes to pay for road maintenance? The rest goes to pay for toll taker's salaries, executive's salaries, public relations, etc. Even so, the MASS PIKE is absolutely the best maintained and highest quality superhighway in Massachusetts, hands down. However, it's often argued that automobile commuters to the immediate Boston area from MetroWest and Worcester County are unfairly penalized by having to pay these tolls while North Shore and South Shore commuters get a "free ride" on Routes 3 and 93. Some have proposed tolls for those roads, and I don't necessarily have a problem with that.

No, I don't multitask as well as most women do, and I was distracted by being in a cell phone conversation, and today, it cost me!