Monday, March 26, 2012

THAT'S IMPORTANT?!

"For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost." (Romans 14:17)

Oh, the FLOW! Sudden; unexpected; quick; white dairy; wet; running rapidly into an instant creation of "falls"! Table, chairs, floor, napkins, EVERYWHERE!

Whoever coined the saying, "Don't cry over spilled milk!"? I don't know. But I do know one person who didn't CRY over spilled milk but rather "HAD A COW" over it! That would be my father, Gene Baril. We experienced that scene at least a dozen times at our home in Canton during our growing up years. Dad would start yelling confusing and angry instructions so fast it was almost like listening to a tobacco auctioneer. Then it would be, "MORE paper towels, MORE paper towels, MORE paper towels!"

My father was a very smart and talented guy. He achieved many successes. He also spent almost half his adult life upset about spilled milk, or fingermarks on the wall, or a tiny scratch on a new car's surface, or a missing pad of paper. Dad was a ROCK in times of true crisis. If some catastrophe happened, he was "Mr. Macho", strong, masculine, composed, and a guy you wanted to be in charge. He was the perfect police officer to arrive at a chaotic scene and assume total control; offering valuable help and wisdom. And, he was the guy who'd lose his temper over a broken door handle.

Am I trying to "trash" my Dad? Oh no, not at all! You see, in many ways I grew up to be like him. For years, I was very much in denial about this! As a pastor, I viewed myself as likable and approachable. I was the guy watching a Three Stooges short and having a belly laugh over it! I was the one doing impersonations, telling jokes, and giggling about anything and everything! Recently, a close friend of mine told me that over the years he'd heard from quite a few people who said they'd NEVER attend the church I pastored. They described Bob Baril as incredibly nit-picky and critical. Honestly, I never thought of myself as being like that. Yet, as I look back upon it, when it came to finding a broken faucet, or somebody's poorly done clean up job, or fingermarks on a wall, or clutter someone left behind, or...spilled milk...yeah, I was just like my father!

Yesterday, March 25, 2012, would have been my late brother Eddie's 56th birthday. His enexpected death at age twenty-seven devastated our entire family. I think about Eddie often. His birthdays are generally sad days for me. Eddie did not look like me. We had very little in common. But his loss is STARK. My son Jon was born just weeks after Eddie died. None of my kids ever saw their uncle. I wonder what children he would have fathered and what he would look like today. Eddie's death was the one tragedy that reduced my father to tears. I will say that following Eddie's death, Dad was a little bit less nit-picky.

Gene Baril died in 2000. If he could come back and speak to us, would he tell us the yelling over spilled milk and scratches was really pretty pathetic? I suspect he would.

Life and death.

Love and family.

God and Biblical spirituality.

THAT'S the stuff that's important.

I'm frankly sad and disappointed that people saw me as negative, nit-picky, and critical. I actually liked a lot of people, and I really wanted them to like me. In all my actions, I wanted to leave a positive impression for the cause of Jesus Christ with people. Of, I DID with SOME. Some folks do tell me my ministry very positively impacted and changed their lives; that I was a wonderful teacher, counselor, pastor, and friend. But there were times I obviously was very out of touch and I guess I scared and confused people. I desperately miss preaching, teaching, and pastoring. I miss it terribly. I think about that often. Listen, I know this piece could make it very easy for you to mentally throw tomatoes at Bob Baril. Can I tell you something straight out?! Look in the mirror! If you're an evangelical Christian, do you present an angry, negative, legalistic God to the world that no one in their right mind would want? Or do you humbly model the life of a follower of the God who so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son?
And, if you're an unbeliever, do you give the Lord a fair hearing, or do you insist on going your own way and putting up a selfish wall?

Hey, my brother's dead. My parents are dead. What's REALLY important?
Let's think about behaving in such a way that our lives make a positive impact on those around us- that we edify and do not destroy. And, if we "blow it", lets repent. And if someone else "blows it" let's forgive them! (See I John 1:9)

2 comments:

Pete from Colo Spgs said...

Our fathers were very much alike. I suspect that perhaps we have a lot in common too. I htink of myself as approachable and easy going, but my kids always tried to conceal their problems from me. So did my subordinate employees, at least to some extent.

The Pennsylvania Dutch say, "We grow too soon old und too late schmart."

MaryA said...

Great post and something that we all need to remember. Spilled milk is just a clean up job and not worth throwing a hissy fit. Thanks for the reality check.