"SUCK...SUCKS...SUCKED"

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth,  but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” (Ephesians 4:29)

“Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.”  (Colossians 4:6)

My wife Mary Ann and I really enjoyed “Congress 2007”, the big convention of evangelical Christians from all over New England, which was held at Hynes Convention Center in Boston this past Friday and Saturday.  Many of the “big names” of American evangelical Christianity were present, including some really important keynote speakers.

Bill Hybels, around age 50 but sporting a boyish, preppie look, spoke on Friday afternoon.  Many readers will know that he founded Willow Creek Community Church, a mega-church in suburban Chicago.  Hybels is controversial in Christian circles because he gears his church’s events to “seekers”- people who are not evangelical Christians.  There are no Christian symbols to be found at his church, and Christian clichés (the words we use such as “witnessing” “backslide” “got saved”, etc.) are scrupulously avoided.  I have my disagreements with Hybels, although I do credit him with reaching many “unsaved’ (well, there’s one of those words) people with the message of the Gospel .  I WAS taken back by one of Hybels’ first statements on Friday afternoon.  Commenting on the Bears success this season as well as on the Patriots’ elimination, Hybels asked,
“Doesn’t it SUCK that your team is not in the Super Bowl?!”

I’ve got to admit, I don’t think I heard one thing he said for the next three minutes!  Some of you won’t understand this, but I am so sick of hearing “suck, sucks, and sucked” that, well, I’m almost ready to say the whole language situation s_ _ ks ...oops- I’m hearing it SO much I almost did it myself!  Yup, we’re desensitized about language, and evangelicals are no exception.  I WILL say, I don’t think you’d EVER hear Jack Hayford or Billy Graham use that.  Could you imagine Billy Graham saying, “Boy, it really sucked that not too many people responded to the altar call tonight!”?  I certainly could not imagine that.

“Suck” and its derivations have become SO common, that I’ll bet there are some people who really don’t know the expression is not talking about a vacuum cleaner but IS talking about ORAL SEX.  I got saved (well there’s that cliché, again) in 1970.  For the couple of years before that I used so much profanity that my name could have been changed to Profanity Baril.  I used ‘em all CONSTANTLY.  Today, I’m ashamed of that.  I will say that in that era, “suck, sucks, and sucked” were only used (unless you WERE talking about a vacuum cleaner or a tornado) as very profane language and mostly by males under age 30.  I can attest that working in factories with guys my father’s age, they all used the “F” word and all the other stuff with regularity, but I honestly can’t remember ANYONE in the pre-1980 days who was much over 30 using “suck” and it’s related terms.  Yes, there are related terms...”blows” being one that certainly comes to mind.  

About ten years ago, a father in our church congregation told me he was having problems with his teenage son saying “suck” or “sucks” all the time.  

“He tells me it’s not a swear anymore,” that Dad said, and added, “but to ME it is.”  To me, it is, too.

Maybe it’s because I had SUCH a foul mouth as a teenager that it bothers me so much today.  I think the main reason is, again to use religious and cliched language that might offend Bill Hybels, because I honestly don’t want to say ANYTHING that might offend my Lord Jesus Christ.  Do I always speak with “grace seasoned with salt” as the above Scripture says?  Well, honestly, no.  Like all of us, I’m human.   I just think a 50-year-old  college-educated guy shouldn’t have to use “sucks” all the time!

I admit, I’ve driven people crazy with my fixation on some spoken terms.  For instance, many years ago I gave up using the expression “got the shaft”.  Let me clue you in- it doesn’t mean an elevator shaft, nor does it man the shaft of a sword or something, as I’ve heard people argue.  I also try to avoid the expression “screwed up”.  I’d try to explain that one, but ...well, I might screw it up!  O.K., I AM being just a little bit “tongue in cheek” but I’m serious in that if I could banish “suck”, “sucks”, and “sucked” from modern American vocabulary, I’d do that in a heartbeat!