Monday, June 11, 2007

THIS MAKES ME SAD

"Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God."
(Matthew 5:9)

For this entry, I can't use the people's real names.

I won't even reveal their sexes. Maybe they're 2 men. Maybe they're 2
women. Maybe they're a man and a woman. For this piece I'm going to say they're
2 men...and they may be! I'll call them Don X and Fred Y. Don X and Fred Y
are essentially at war and I'm finding myself dragged into the middle of it,
whether I want to be there or not. Don X and Fred Y have had what I'll call a
"toxic" friendship over the past ten years or so. They've each faced a lot of
rejection and alienation in their lives. Both really need each other. Both
like each other. Both are capable of hating each other, and at times, they do
hate each other.

Early last week, Fred Y telephoned me. He was in an angry and
self-justifying mood. Fred Y wanted nothing more to do with Don X, and he spent almost an
hour on the phone letting me know that. Fred named fault after fault of Don
X's. Honestly, although Fred was NOT right in all of his indictments of Don X,
he WAS right about most of them. I tried to have a civil and pleasant
conversation with Fred Y without getting TOO involved in this feud.

Later in the week, I ran into Don X. Don X asked me if I'd heard from Fred
Y, and I told Don I had. Don X was in an independent and self-justifying mood.
Don named fault after fault of Fred Y's. Honestly, although Don was NOT
right in all of his indictments of Fred Y, he WAS right about most of them. I
tried to have a civil and pleasant conversation with Don X without getting TOO
involved in this feud.

Within the past couple of days, I've been in a situation where Don X, Fred Y,
and myself were all together. I felt like I was sitting in-between J.F.K.
and Nikita Kruschev during the 1962 Cuban missile crisis! Later, Fred Y made
some kind of nasty comments to me about Don X, but he made the comments because
Don X had made a nasty comment to him!

"Pardon me while I throw up" but Don X and Fred Y each profess to be
born-again Christians!

This is why all too often, we born-again Christians are not believable to the
world and are not respected by the world. The problem is not new.In I
Corinthians chapter 6, the Apostle Paul was dealing with his own "Fred Ys and Don
Xs" in Corinth. Paul didn't like it any more than I do.

Don X tends to be very independent and very opinionated and it drives Fred Y
crazy. Fred Y tends to be very manipulative and also very opinionated and it
drives Don X crazy. Interestingly enough, for all of you who are into the
significance of "birth order", but Don X and Fred Y are the youngest of several
children. Each is the baby of the family. Do you suppose that affects how
they handle life's situations? Probably.

I hate having to listen to them. Who's right in this feud? Fred Y is. And
so is Don X. Who's wrong in this feud? Fred Y is. And so is Don X. Is one
more in the right and one more in the wrong? Probably. But as much as I
wrestle with it, I can't come to a firm conclusion as to which one is MORE in the
wrong.

If they were each little kids, they'd be given a "time out" and then they'd
have to make up. What do you do when "adults" over the age of 40 act like this?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You pray, pray, pray.