A VERY "FOOT IN THE DOOR" CHRISTMAS

“...and by good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple.” (Romans 16:18)

Monday, December 24 started off well enough.  Considering the snowy, icy, and just plain awful weather the Boston area has recently endured, this past Monday wasn’t bad at all.  I got some errands done during the morning, and I also spent a few hours at the church office putting the finishing touches on the Christmas Eve service.  Well, we DID take in a modest amount of water at the church facility which I had to “wet vac” up, but aside from that, it was a great morning.

I came home early with plans to enjoy a leisurely afternoon prior to the 7:30 p.m. Christmas Eve service.  In the mid-afternoon I was sitting at my home computer when I heard the doorbell ring and also heard someone pounding on the door.  I ran downstairs, but my two young adult offspring told me they’d gone to the door and whoever was there had already left.  I glanced out the front door, and I saw a man with what appeared to be a loose-leaf notebook across the street talking to the woman of the house.  He talked and talked and talked.  I think he was there for at least fifteen minutes.  I assumed he was some kind of a slick magazine salesman and I was really glad to have avoided him.

About two hours later I was lying down, sort of half asleep with my bedroom television set on.       It was now dark outside.  Suddenly, there it was again...the sound of someone ringing the bell and banging on the front door.  In sort of a tired, annoyed, and foggy state, I staggered down the stairs and opened up the door.  There was the same young guy I’d seen talking to my neighbor.  I noticed he was wearing a “Verizon” badge.  The guy was no more than thirty, IF that.  He was talking a mile a minute.  The subject was Verizon FiOS.  It seems Verizon FiOS is coming down my street in January and the young man strongly implied that all my neighbors are signing up. 

“You’re the last house!” he announced. 

He seemed alternately pleased that I currently have regular Verizon telephone service and dismayed (more like incredulous) that I have AOL dial-up for internet.  (Well, the demographic for AOL dial-up is very non-technically inclined people over the age of 50, so I certainly fit the bill.)  The young man continued talking excitedly through the screen door.  I was becoming more and more annoyed at the cold air coming into the house, but I was not about to invite this guy in.  My wife was sitting in the living room, my grown kids were upstairs, and we had Christmas gifts and “stuff” strewn about. The gist of his spiel was that the street is being hooked up for Verizon FiOS in January; that  “everything is going digital”; that Verizon wants everything regarding FiOS done before 2009;  and that I need to jump on board now, if not yesterday.  He also threw in the part about getting a new $400 High Definition television set just for signing up.

With the exception of our church volunteer secretary Claire, nobody hates being confronted by a “foot in the door” salesman worse than I do.  I could feel myself getting perturbed.   The next thing I knew, he commented about my “Rev.” title, and literally started talking religion and even sharing some personal problems which would require counseling.  No kidding.  Well, when someone’s “talking religion” and flattering you for being a minister while they babble about you needing to sign right up for Verizon FiOS, that just plain puts you in a tough and uncomfortable position.

As the Verizon salesman talked, inwardly I debated whether my wife was  awake or not and whether it would be rude to yell for her or drag her to the door.  We currently have Comcast digital and a 27-inch “regular” T.V.  My son has everything hooked up just the way he likes it, and since I’m nontechnical, that’s just fine with me.  I wondered if Jon would appreciate me switching to Verizon FiOS, and I doubted he would.  I wondered if I could get FiOS for internet and phone but not television.  I had a bunch of questions, BUT I was also tired, cold, confused, and just wanting to make this guy go away!

The next thing I knew I was signing and initialing a work order having agreed to a Saturday, January 12 installation appointment.  The moment I closed the door and walked into my living room, I felt more stupid and embarrassed than I have in a long time.  When I explained what had just happened to my incredulous family, I felt even more stupid and even more embarrassed and angry and ashamed.  I felt like an 83-year-old who had just spoken to a door-to-door life insurance salesman and signed up for $10,000 worth of life insurance at $750 a month for the rest of his life!

I don’t mean to sound like I’m putting down Verizon.  I am a Verizon stockholder and I have Verizon for cell phone service as well as home and church telephone service.  I’ve also enjoyed Verizon service and I always speak well of Verizon.

What I hate is this:  I want Verizon FiOS.  And I don’t want it.  I want high definition television.  And I don’t want it.  I sort of like Comcast cable.  And I sort of don’t like it.  I want to do the right thing.  And I DON’T KNOW what the right thing to do is!  I DO know I certainly don’t want to be given any more  unexpected cold turkey presentations in which I have to make an instant decision about ANY product!

My wife is frankly much more business-oriented than am I, and she is our church’s Treasurer.  She is going to call Verizon.  It’s possible we’ll get Verizon FiOS for telephone and internet but not television.  If that sounds like a financially foolish expenditure out of my pocket, keep in mind the church pays my phone bill and it’s a parsonage I live in.  As a family, we spent some time late in the day on Christmas Day talking the whole Verizon FiOS thing out.  My wife really wants to get the Verizon television.  My son and daughter really don’t want to.  I’m split on it.  At least we do have a few days to think about it and learn more about it.

I’m a VERY sensitive guy.  Too sensitive.  I hate feeling like I’ve been “had” and manipulated.  That’s exactly how I felt about what happened on Monday.  I know this will sound terrible to some of you, but this whole experience kind of spoiled my Christmas eve and even my Christmas morning. 

Receiving some nice Christmas presents and eating a nice Christmas dinner calmed me down - somewhat.

BUT...

I don’t like surprises and I don’t like to be pressured to make changes.
High pressure appointments on your doorstep at 5 p.m. on Christmas Eve when you’re trying to think about a Christmas Eve service and the birth of Jesus and holiday and family obligations and a million other things; well, if there had been a Verizon FiOS high definition picture of my face on Monday at 6 p.m. I would have looked like that Native American weeping on the anti-litter public service ads back in the late 1960s...

Sales?  There’s just GOT to be a better and less tacky way to do things...