FEELING LIKE JIM BRAUDE!

“And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.” (Luke 6:31)

When it comes to most “stuff”, Boston media personality Jim Braude and I have nothing in common.  Jim is what commentator Bill O’Reilley calls a “secular progressive”.  Jim Braude is liberal, pro choice, pro gay marriage, is not comfortable with the religious right, etc. etc. etc.   When it comes to most political and social issues, Jim Braude and I are on opposite sides.  But there’s an area where Jim Braude and I are very much alike.  Neither of us fits the bill of being cool, mechanically inclined, strong and silent blue-collar types.  I find that cool, mechanically inclined, strong and silent blue-collar types often rub me the wrong way.  (Not always, but OFTEN.)  In the story I’m about to tell, I believe Jim Braude  (another white-collar, college-educated, idealistic guy) would have reacted very much as I did. 

Ironically this incident occurred on Monday, December 31 (New Year’s Eve)...I say ironically, because a previous emotional disaster in my life occurred exactly one week beforehand on Christmas Eve (please see the “A VERY ‘FOOT IN THE DOOR’ CHRISTMAS” posting).  It was New Year’s Eve DAY...around 10 a.m.   I had shoveled snow at home, and my wife and I were taking her 2000 Dodge Grand Caravan over to the church so both of us could get some things done.  Mary Ann had not had breakfast, so we went to McDonald’s on Route 30, and she got a take-out breakfast.  As we drove along Concord Street southbound heading toward downtown Framingham (I was driving) suddenly there was a loud sound that sounded like wind...almost like a jet plane engine or something.  I was startled and I could not understand WHAT that sound could be.

“What IS that SOUND?!” I asked my wife. She lowered her window, looked out, and informed me that the right rear tire was COMPLETELY flat.  The sound we heard was the sound of me essentially driving on the rim!  I was only a quarter mile away from the mechanic we use.  I wanted to try to get there, but Mary Ann (probably wisely) was dead against that, telling me I’d ruin the rim if I tried to go that far.  We both decided the best thing to do was to pull into Dunkin Donuts at Concord and Lincoln Streets.  I backed into a space and got out.  The tire was totally flat and I could see that part of the rim WAS bent slightly. 

It’s ALWAYS bothered me that I’m terribly unhandy.  My father was quite a handyman, and my brother was a handyman’s handyman.  Both have passed on.  I inherited my mother’s mechanical ability which is ABSOLUTELY NONE.  For some reason, women can get away with being terribly unhandy, but men who are terribly unhandy are often made to feel like they’re stupid or effeminate or both.  Now, I actually HAVE changed a few tires in my life, but changing a tire on a Dodge Grand Caravan would have been a bit of a challenge even for my father.  I called AAA and I was told they’d have someone out within an hour.  Interestingly enough, two AAA tow trucks came to the Dunkin Donuts lot during the next hour that were NOT for me!  They were just guys getting coffee!

I was really feeling guilty that I might have ruined the rim.  I had also not had the best final week of 2007.  In fact, for me, the last week of 2007 was easily the saddest and most stressful week of the year.  So, this was just “par for the course”.  But that’s not the end of the story.

After being at the Dunkin Donuts lot for around 30 minutes, 3 men in blue-collar uniforms  (I did not recognize their company name) came to me and told me to move my Dodge Caravan.

“I can’t,” I told them.  “I’ve got a tire that’s completely flat...right down to the rim...I’ve called AAA Emergency services, and I’m waiting for them.”

They looked at the tire and looked at me as though I were the stupidest and most unmanly man they’d ever seen.  With ear to ear grins, they again demanded I move my vehicle.  It turned out they were arriving in a Dunkin Donuts eighteen-wheeler to deliver supplies to that Dunkin Donuts store.  I’ve seen this truck there before.  When it arrives, it renders the bulk of the parking lot for the Dunkin Donuts and the neighboring bank USELESS. 

Well, what was I going to do?

Drive on the rim?

Forget the service call?

Get into a much wore predicament?

These guys were not going to take no for an answer.  My wife did not think their request was unreasonable at all.  She could not understand that I was shaken, distraught, and furious.  I could imagine my late very macho father saying to me in an authoritative tone, “Don’t ever move a vehicle when you’ve done damage to a rim. I don’t give a hoot WHO is telling you to move it!!”  On the other hand were the grinning, sarcastic blue-collar Dunkin Donuts eighteen-wheeler guys who were not going to take no for an answer. 

I ended up moving the vehicle across the lot to a bank parking space.  I felt as VIOLATED as I did one week earlier by the Verizon salesman.  My wife means well but she proceeded to sweetly speak spiritual platitudes to me.  She really does mean well.  But here I think Jim Braude would be in agreement with me.  That moment was not the time for spiritual platitudes, however well meaning.

Well, I am happy to say that several positive things DID happen.  The AAA man named “Joshua” finally did arrive.  I think he was a Brazilian.  He was VERY nice and did a super job changing the tire.  Mary Ann took the Dodge Caravan to Ron’s Tire and was able to buy a new tire.  Although the rim did have minor damage, it was only minor and was still usable.

I have a ravenous appetite.  I’m ALWAYS hungry and I typically eat too much. I was so upset I could not eat any lunch, and when it comes to me, THAT’S saying something!

I can tend to get very strict with what I call “illegal parkers” at our church parking lot.  But if I encountered a guy who had a flat tire and possibly damaged rim at our church lot even on a Sunday morning, I’d just stay out of the guy’s way!. I would figure he had enough problems and I did not need to make things worse for him.   I know, I know, those 3 guys had to make a delivery.  Maybe they shouldn’t be making deliveries at 10 a.m., tying up the bank and Dunkin Donuts parking lots and causing all sorts of problems.

So that’s my latest brush with human nature.

Any comments?