"DUFUS AND VALIANT"

“He that saith he abideth in him ought himself also so to walk, even as he walked.” (I John 2:6)

Nobody likes hanging around in medical waiting rooms, but it’s always a treat for me when I’m in a doctor’s or dentist’s waiting room and I spot some issues of the children’s magazine, “Highlights”!  I got “Highlights” magazine as a kid, and we got it for our kids when they were roughly in the 7-13 age group.  My favorite feature of  “Highlights” magazine is “Goofus and Gallant”.  In the old days, “Goofus and Gallant” took up a whole page, and I think today it takes up maybe two-thirds of a page.  “Goofus and Gallant” features comic book style illustrations of two boys who (I guess) are supposed to be around ten or eleven-years-old.  Goofus is always pictured as saying or doing something that’s really stupid or inappropriate, and Gallant is always contrasted with him and presented as kind, mature, obedient and responsible.  Reading “Goofus and Gallant” is supposed to be a subtle (or maybe not so subtle) way of telling kids how to behave.

As a pastor I’ve thought, “Too bad there isn’t some way to present a ‘Goofus and Gallant’ type of feature for evangelical Protestant church members so they’d get the message about how a Christian is supposed to act; and they’d be indirectly confronted with their inappropriate behavior!”  In that spirit, and considering that on this summer week I frankly have less study and preparation work than usual to do, I present “DUFUS” AND “VALIANT”.  Unfortunately, I can’t draw, and even if I could, I don’t possess all the equipment necessary to scan drawings and post them so you’re going to have to use your imagination, but try to picture “Dufus” and “Valiant” as 40ish, middle-class, suburban evangelical Protestant guys.

How do Dufus and Valiant differ?  Well, here we go:

-----DUFUS boasts, “I didn’t take Communion- my heart wasn’t right!”
    VALIANT asks God to forgive him, then takes Communion.

-----(on a beautiful Sunday morning)
    “God won’t mind if I skip church to go golfing!” says DUFUS.
    “Sorry I can’t join you, Jeff,” says VALIANT, “I need to go to church with my family.”

----- “Ten percent’s too much,” complains DUFUS, “But I throw a few bucks in  the plate when I’m in church.”
    “I’m happy to give tithesand offerings each week to support our church,”  replies VALIANT.

----- “Sunday School is old-fashioned.  I’ll sleep in!” exclaims DUFUS.
    “Is there a class you’d like me to teach, Pastor?” asks VALIANT.

-----(in the middle of a church service)
    “Yes, my cell phone is ringing,” says DUFUS, “I gotta take this call!”
    “I always keep my cell phone turned off during services,” says VALIANT.

-----DUFUS doesn’t donate any money toward the church’s missions program.
    VALIANT is happy to contribute to home and foreign missions.

----- “Midweek prayer meetings are for old ladies,” declares DUFUS.
    “Let’s go out for ice cream after the prayer meeting,” VALIANT tells his family.

----- “I say NO RAISE for the pastor!” says DUFUS.
    “Let’s give him a cost of living increase,” says VALIANT.

----- “Singing old-fashioned hymns is boring!” complains DUFUS.
    VALIANT (to a Senior Citizen) says, “I’ll help you find ‘The Old Rugged Cross’ in the hymnal.”

----- “I’m not speaking to that usher- he’s a jerk!” says DUFUS.
    “Sorry about last week’s misunderstanding, Norm.” says VALIANT.

----- “I enjoy an occasional ‘Adult beverage’!” DUFUS happily says.
    “I try to avoid doing anything which could cause someone who’s had a  drinking problem to fall into sin.” replies VALIANT.

    ----- DUFUS and his family usually arrive for church service ten minutes after it has started.
    VALIANT and his family are among the first people to arrive at church on Sunday mornings.

    ----- After the church fellowship dinner, DUFUS throws his soda can into the trash.
    VALIANT asks, “Pastor, do we have a place to put the soda cans for recycling?”

Can you think of more DUFUS and VALIANT scenarios?

AND which one are you more like:  DUFUS or VALIANT ?