"STATIC GUARD??" (extra entry)

“...tribulation worketh patience...” (from Romans 5:3)

We’ve all said, “Cars are great when they run, but horrible when they DON’T run!”  We’ve also all said, “Computers are great when they work well, but horrible when they crash!”  Well, I can add to that, “Telephone lines and telephone systems are great when they work, but horrible when they don’t!”

Last Sunday I taught an Adult Sunday School lesson about the Israelites complaining in the wilderness...you know, “Where’s the food?!  Where’s the water?!  Moses brought us out here to KILL us in the wilderness!”...all that stuff. There’s a verse in First Corinthians that tells us all that stuff about the Exodus was written as examples for US...that is The Church...people of the New Testament.  Do we act like that Israelites in the wilderness?  DO WE EVER?!

I must admit, I’m not always the most patient person, and this one is kind of trying and testing me!   About three weeks ago, I began noticing that when I’m on the phone at the church, about ten minutes into the call, often, (but not always) I will start to hear a slight static on the phone.  The static will get louder and louder and louder.  After about twenty minutes into the phone call, the static is SO bad it’s not worth continuing the call.  One thing that’s maddening is that the person on the other end of the call CAN’T HEAR THE STATIC AT ALL, so it seems to them like you’re not really listening to them and/or being rude.

After a few days of this, I phoned Verizon repair.  To my surprise, I was told that it was roughly 99% likely that the problem is in our church building and not in the outside telephone lines.  The person at Verizon told me that problem is frequently a faulty cordless phone.  I did not realize that the way TODAY’S phones and phone systems work is that if one phone on the line or one jack on a line has a problem then ALL will have the problem. Even if the bad phone is hung up, the problem will manifest on the other phones.  I was told I’d have to disconnect all phones and phone equipment (& the computer) for at least 5 minutes, then begin adding equipment and testing it to be able to isolate which phone or piece of equipment is faulty.  That may sound easy.  It’s not.  Keep in mind that the static problem doesn’t begin to manifest until you’ve been on the phone for at least ten minutes, and that it doesn’t ALWAYS happen.  In trying to troubleshoot the problem I’d keep being “sure” it was this or that phone, or caller ID box, etc. only to eventually find that WASN’T the problem!  To MY surprise our older model cordless phone has turned out to NOT be the problem. An old caller ID box attached to that cordless phone has also turned out to NOT be the problem.  A couple of days ago, I was sure I’d finally figured it out.  I realized the main office phone runs through an old modem we’d had hooked up to an antiquated MAC computer that I haven’t used for internet access in about 9 years. I figured that old modem must be the problem.  I disconnected the old modem.  For 48 hours the phones worked fine.  I was ecstatic (no pun intended, i.e. “ecstatic” and “static”!).  I figured I’d solved the problem.  Today, a guy from our church called me on his cell phone.  He talked to me for twenty minutes. At exactly ten minutes into the call, the static began. At exactly twenty minutes into the call it became so bad it wasn’t worth trying to hear, so I just politely told him I had to run.  

I’m NOT very technically inclined, but somehow in the next few days I’ve got to still try to isolate the problem to find out EXACTLY what is messing up.  We’ve got 3 traditional corded phones on the church number, one of which has a built in answering machine.  We’ve got one (old) cordless phone on it.  We’ve got our iMac computer hooked up to the phone line.  (It’s old fashioned dial-up service...please don’t laugh!)  I’ve got a portable Caller ID box hooked up in my office next to the cordless phone.

One of our Board Members sent me the following link to check out today.  I read it and WOW; I realized how complicated this thing can get:

http://forum.doityourself.com/archive/index.php/t-94044.html

So all you super-spiritual people, pray for me that I can get this problem solved.  And all you technical people, if you have any advice (in addition to what’s on the link) I’ll take it!