OUT OF MY TREE (extra entry)

“And if it bear fruit, well: and if not, then after that thou shalt cut it down.” (Luke 13:9)

Maybe I’m paranoid but you’ve got to admit a lot of weird things happen to me, and in life, I end up encountering (what I think is) more than my share of challenging situations!  Among the weird and challenging stuff going on right now is I’m doing battle with a huge double Norway maple tree in the back yard of my residence.  Ironically, it looks EXACTLY like a huge Norway maple that was next door to my parents’ home in Canton during the years I was growing up.

That tree in Canton was old and huge.  In heavy windstorms it dropped huge limbs and branches.  In the early 1970s., my Dad had a 2 car garage with an upper storage area built on his small lot.  Well, he lost most of his backyard, but he was a pack rat and this was pretty much before the days of those “rental/storage” places.  Anyway, I remember one time that a huge limb from that Norway maple crashed right into the roof of that garage.  I remember my Dad slapping a bunch of roofing tar in the hole area and not being very happy about the incident.  He was always picking up and hauling away limbs and branches from that tree.  I know that the tree ultimately came down in a hurricane.  I can’t remember if it came down in Hurricane Gloria of 1985 or in Hurricane Bob of 1991, but when it came down it did little actual damage to his property and he was relieved his battle with the tree was over.

Well,. now  when I’m not trying to solve the telephone static problem at the church, I’m doing battle with that Canton maple tree’s double!  Like the old Canton tree, this one is huge.  In 1991, the church paid a tree company to come in and “prune” it, at that time cutting and hauling away probably 20% of its branches.  At the very least that needs to be done again.  Every Spring, it takes me almost one full day to cut up and haul away the limbs and branches and debris that has fallen on the property over the winter.  (This is our little secret, but I dump all my leaves and tree debris in an isolated, somewhat overlooked and overgrown extremity of the church property, but that’s just between us, right?!)  Well, I had my day this April of cleaning up tree debris, but in ONE NIGHT in May more tree debris fell during a thunderstorm than in all of last winter!  Then, about two weeks ago, during one thunderstorm a twenty foot limb (probably at least five inches thick) DISLODGED and is hung, suspended up in the tree!  If it falls while I’m cutting the lawn or something, well, I want my funeral out of Boyle Brothers Funeral Home on Union Avenue.  Actually, the Church Board knows about it and we’ve talked about the need to get a tree company in there before the winter, but first I’ve got to get my unregistered Olds station wagon hauled away out of the driveway before a tree company can get a big bucket truck in there.

Today I came home and saw a huge limb down in the yard.  “Wow,” I thought, “That huge limb FELL.”

It didn’t.  It’s STILL suspended in the tree!

This was ANOTHER limb!  This one is about twelve or thirteen feet long and maybe three or four inches thick.  After I watch the Natick 4th of July parade, I’ll be cutting it up and hauling it away.

I’m getting an awful feeling that maybe a tree company will tell me the whole tree’s got to come down.  I know the prices for taking trees down are going through the roof.  Well, if they tell us that, I guess it will be better than the tree going through our roof.

My old boss Dave Milley used to say, “If Jesus returns before the next Communion service, I’ll see you just inside that Eastern Gate!”  
and I'LL say
if that tree DOES fall on me, in a sense I’ll catch you at Boyle Brothers Funeral Home!