THE CHANGING OF THE YEAR

“Are thy days as the days of man? are thy years as man’s days,” (Job 10:5)

To some people a year is just a four digit number on a piece of paper and nothing more than that. I’ve always been one of those mystical types who somehow deep down in my soul really FEELS something about the turning of the calendar from one year to another. When I “hit” January 1 of a new year (as well as when I have my birthday every September 19) there’s that sense that, “Wow, I can’t believe I made it to this point!” It doesn’t seem possible that we’ve made it to 2009! It also doesn’t seem possible that 2008 is over!

Frank Sinatra sang that famous song with the refrain, “It Was a Very Good Year”. Conversely, at the end of the year 1992, Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom dramatically pronouced that 1992 had been an, “Annus Horribulous”, that is, a horrible year. (That year one of the royal family’s castles had burned down, and they’d experienced an unusual number of difficulties and tragedies.) My mother was the type who almost superstitiously believed in “good years” and “bad years”. If she was in a “bad year” she couldn’t wait for it to end, and if she was having (what was very rare for her) a “good year”, she feared its ending.

My life experience is that all years contain both good and bad events. I think there are very few years of my life that I could honestly label as particularly “good” or “bad”. In July of 1983, my brother Eddie (unexpectedly) DIED. He was only 27, and it was a terrible time for my family. Also, in July of 1983, my son Jon was born. That was a very joyous occasion! Was 1983 a good year or a bad year? It all depends on how you look at it.

I will say that a lot of (somewhat) extreme things happened in my life in 2008. My daughter Amy was married in March in Springfield, Missouri. There was a wedding and a small reception there, and a week later a big (by Bob Baril standards) reception here in Massachusetts. Amy was born on Mothers’ Day of 1985. I can still see her as an infant and as a toddler. The reality that she’s married and a nurse makes me feel very old! The weekend of Amy’s Massachusetts reception was also Easter weekend. That felt so WEIRD. Easter of 2008 was the EARLIEST it had been in something like 100 years, and in fact it won’t take place THAT early in a year again for over 100 more years!

I get unusually sentimental about the cars I drive and own, and some of you remember that I was kind of emotional junking “Whitey”, the 1993 Oldsmobile our family owned for over ten years. It was fun, though, to replace “Whitey” with a 2000 Saturn sedan which is mainly used by my daughter Rachel. I also get very sentimental about two events every year, the Boston Marathon in April, and the Natick Fourth of July parade every Summer. Many of you will remember my posting from July about the homeowner who was rude to my daughter and me and who somewhat “rained on our parade” this past July.

My wife turned 50 in September, so 2008 was a milestone year for her. It’s a little difficult to write this next part because it makes me both sad and angry, but of all the people who were invited to her very special 50th birthday event, MANY did not attend AND did not “R.S.V.P.”! As nice as her 50th birthday was, THAT really put a damper on it. We all get so busy- but these social graces....responding to invitations, communicating, etc., which were SO common 25 or more years ago are rapidly “going by the boards”. I hope that in 2009 you will be sensitive to invitations of people’s special events; and I guess that’s all I’m going to say about that one!

I really have to be careful about this and I can’t say too much about it, but I had a member of my extended family become incredibly angry with me this year, and now that person will not speak to me or communicate with me in any way. It’s deeply painful to me. (Yes, I’ve tried and tried to reach out to this person, and right now I don’t think there is anything else I can do.) One mutual friend of ours even said to me, “I don’t understand this because I DON’T COME FROM A FAMILY LIKE THIS. WE ALL GET ALONG.” I know that person was trying to make me feel better. Instead they made me feel like my family was The Munsters, only 100 times worse. There were also a number of other problems in various personal relationships. I suspect those people with whom I did have problems would appreciate me just leaving that stuff alone and not going into any details; and I’ve decided that in the spirit of forgiveness and “moving on” I’m NOT going to say any more about those relational issues! They’re past- let’s leave ‘em there!

Many of you know that the church I pastor is very small and is struggling in a number of ways. Several people left our church in 2008 and that was painful for me. Several others joined the church in 2008 and that was joyful for me. Our Sunday attendance is down compared to a year ago. Our midweek attendance (and general morale in the church) is a bit “up” compared to a year ago.

So, was ‘08 a good year for me or was it a bad year? It was both, and I think you can understand in reading this why I say it was a year of “a lot of extreme things happening in my life”.

Well, those are my reflections about 2008 ending. Whether 2009 is going to be a “good” year or a “bad” year, or more likely just a regular old year like most of them, I’m looking forward to the year ahead, and I hope you are, too!