HANDS DOWN, ALREADY!

“Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them:  for this is the law and the prophets.” (Matthew 7:12)

Sometime ago on her blog (http://rev-o-lution.blogspot.com ) , my clergy friend and colleague, The Rev. Mindi Welton-Mitchell, wrote a piece entitled, “Be the Buddah of the Road”.  I’d have preferred, “Be the Jesus of the Road,” but I got her point.  

Bluntly, I don’t know why so many people are in SUCH a HURRY and have SUCH an “ATTITUDE”.  I think the WORST drivers in America are in the New York City area and the second worst are in the immediate vicinity of Providence, Rhode Island, but pretty much anyplace in eastern or central Massachusetts would qualify for the third worst drivers in the country.  Driving is no fun.  And as for the “rules” that I learned in Driver Ed in the early 1970s: WHAT RULES?!  It seems they’ve all vanished!

On Monday morning I was driving in Framingham; specifically I was on Mount Wayte AVE at the intersection with Franklin ST, proceeding south (ultimately heading for the Pond Street, Ashland area).  At that congested intersection, a few cars coming from the opposite direction were turning from Mount Wayte onto Franklin to head towards the Route 9/Famingham Centre area.  A couple of cars were pretty much into the intersection to make their turns anyway, so I stopped and waved them through.  In my rear-view mirror was a disgusted woman (probably late 30s or early 40s) who threw her hands into the air as if to say to me, “You stupid goofy idiot.  Why don’t you let 63,000 people turn in front of us while you’re at it!?”

I think I’ve written about this before, but I HATE the “hands in the air” thing when people are driving.  Honestly, I’d rather have someone give me the finger.  It’s clear. It’s concise.  It’s abrupt.  I don’t like it, but O.K. I get the point; but the hands in the air thing?!  Thirty  or more years agowhen my Dad was with the Registry of Motor Vehicles, he’d stop a driver who gave him a gesture like that and he’d give them a condescending ten minute lecture that would ruin their whole day.  Of course, if they didn’t want the ten minute lecture, he’d just find some excuse to give them a citation and make them come into the old 100 Nashua Street Registry headquarters for a hearing.  Boy, I sometimes wish I had that power that my Dad had!  

As soon as I was able to pull through the intersection, I pulled to the side of the road and dramatically waved Mrs. “Hands in the Air” forward with both arms as if she was the Queen of England or something. Maybe that wasn’t the “Buddah of the Road” thing to do, but it sure felt good!  Ironically, Mrs. “Hands in the Air” made a right turn down that street that goes through the old Cushing Hospital property to Winter Street.  I say ironically, because as she did, a car was in front of HER on that side street “crawling”!  I knew she’d be disgusted and she’d be slowed down.  It couldn’t have happened to a more deserving person!

Maybe Mrs. “Hands in the Air” is married to Mr. “Are You With Don?” from the “Raining On My Parade” story.  Wouldn’t THAT be wild?!

My message to all drivers:  Slow down.  Lighten up.  Be courteous.  

One of the many jobs my father had over his years at the Registry of Motor Vehicles was investigating fatal car accidents.  I’ve seen some very gory photos.  I’m tempted to describe one to you, but I honestly might get in trouble with AOL for being too graphic.  We all want to get to Heaven, but do we want to get there THAT quick?!

And, this may offend some of my very strict born-again Christian friends, but a bumper sticker I saw about twenty years ago says it all:  “DRIVE LIKE HELL.  YOU’LL GET THERE!”