"PRESENTS" THEY GAVE ME

“...Surely thou also art one of them; for thy speech bewrayeth (betrays) thee.” (from Matthew 26:73)

Today is September 19, 2008.  Today is my 54th birthday.  Interestingly enough, I was born in 1954 and now I’m 54.  That seems weird to me.  I’m the same age as Oprah Winfrey, Ron Howard, and Bill Mumy (who played “Will” on Lost in Space).  The thought has occurred to me this week that whatever I do or don’t get for my birthday, there are a lot of verbal expressions I use that define who I am, and most of them came from other people.  Thus, in a sense, these expressions were “presents” from these people, and now I perpetuate THEIR expressions by my own speech patterns!  Some of you who know me well and know my verbal expressions will get a kick out of knowing where they came from!

From Dr. Paul Gastonguay, former Biology Professor at Stonehill College comes,
 “ANY QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, GRIPES, NOTES, JOKES, PUNS, ETC.?”  He constantly used that line at the end of a thought or at the end of a lecture.  I didn’t get a very good grade in his class but I still use his expression today!

From my father come a lot of  expressions such as,
“INCIDENTALLY...” He constantly began sentences and thoughts with “incidentally” and so do I.  It drives my wife crazy, but at age 54, I think I’ll be starting sentences and phrases with “incidentally” for the rest of my life.

“SOMETHIN’ FIERCE”  My daughter Amy will think this one comes from her husband David.  In fact “somethin’ fierce” is commonly used in the Missouri Ozarks and is not a New England expression.  Nevertheless, this one comes from my father.  I assume one of his buddies in the service used the expression and he brought it home.  He frequently used, “somethin’ fierce” in sentences such as, “That old Ford burns oil somethin’ fierce!” and I use the same expression!

(said with overconfident sarcasm): “...WELL...WELL...WELL...”  My father loved to be proven right!  When he was (often) proven right, he was not humble about it!  Rather, he would boast, and happily exclaim, “Well...Well...Well...”  I have the same tendency.  I’m NOT proud of it, and I try not to do it but sometimes when I’m proven correct, before I even have time to think about it, I find myself happily exclaiming, “Well...Well...Well...”

“ENOUGH FOR 27 ARMIES!”  My father actually used to say, “Enough for an army”.  I started saying, “Enough for three armies”. Then it was “Enough for six armies”.  Now, it’s  “Enough for 27 armies”!

(always said while driving) “WHAT A BEAUT!” My Dad didn’t want to be using all sorts of four-letter words while driving, so he’d yell, “What a beaut!” and get great satisfaction from that.  I do the same thing!

“...SHORTLY...”  He used that all the time. You’d ask, “When are we leaving?” and he would answer, “Shortly”.  “Shortly” could mean three minutes or three hours.  I frequently use “Shortly”.  When people ask ME what “Shortly” means, I tell them, “Shortly means shortly”.  That usually quiets them down!

From my mother comes,
“OOOOOOOOOO YOU CAN’T EAT MEAT!!” My mother didn’t have a lot of patience.  Well, neither did my father.  My mother was a devout Roman Catholic. If on a Friday during Lent we asked something like, “Why can’t we have hamburgers?” this is what she’d say!  Usually, it’s during Lent, that on a Friday I’ll announce in a comical tone, “OOOOOOOOOO YOU CAN’T EAT MEAT!!” even though we don’t usually give up meat for Lent!

From my sister Dianne comes,
“I HAVE NO CHOICE”  Dianne is a true Baril, and as a true Baril she likes to be in control of things...so do I!  When she is put in some situation where she has to do something she doesn’t want to do or has to put up with something she doesn’t want to have to put up with, she will announce, “I have NO choice!”  Now, when put in such situations, I will say, “As Dianne says, ‘I have NO choice’!”

From David C. Milley (my boss in the 1980s) come several expressions including,
“HASN’T GOT A CLUE”  Now, it’s true that many people use this expression, but believe it or not, the first person I ever heard use “hasn’t got a clue” was Dave Milley in 1981.  He used that one all the time, and now so do I!

“THE HEIGHT OF TOTAL STUPIDITY”  Specifically, Dave Milley would say, “It’s the height of total stupidity” when he encountered the kind of thing that would make Dianne Baril say, “I have NO choice”.  Well, Dave Milley felt he DID have a choice and he would say of the situation, “It’s the height of total stupidity”!  At times, I use that one, too.

From Denny Seler, now a missionary to Jamaica, and a coworker of mine in the 1980s, come a couple of expressions including,
“GOOFBALL”  Any incompetent person (to Denny) was a “goofball”.  I now tend to use the same expression. In fact, I used to refer to a faculty member of Marian High School as “Goofball”.  I will never reveal who that is!

“WHAT A LOON!”  To Denny, a “loon” was about twenty times worse than a Goofball!  Sadly, “loons” seem far more plentiful in today’s society than they were in the 1980s!

From Steve Clark, who was the janitor when I worked with Dave Milley and Denny Seler, comes,
“YA SEE YA TAMORROW!”  He would announce that around 90 minutes before his work was supposed to be over for the day...would walk out...and see if he got away with it.  It usually worked when he used it on me or on Denny.  It never worked on Dave Milley!  When someone does an inferior job and then walks off, I always think about, “YA SEE YA TAMORROW!”

From Bill Lincoln an active member at the church I  pastor comes,
(said in a monotone with slight cynicism)  “OH, WELL.”  Whenever something regrettable but inevitable happens, such as the electricity going out during the church service or something like that, Bill will say, “Oh, Well.”  It turns out that expression came from an old Italian lady who was related to his wife.  He heard it so much that he started using it.  I’ve heard Bill use it so much that I’ve started using it!

From Joanne Lincoln, Bill’s wife,  comes,
(in a feminine and very certain tone) “IT’S NOT ALL BAD!”
No matter WHAT happens, she typically says, “It’s NOT all bad”.  I think it annoys my wife, but sometimes when something bad happens, I will put on a feminine voice and announce, “It’s NOT all bad!”

From my daughter Rachel comes,
(in a slightly bored, annoyed tone) “YEAH HOLD ON”
Rachel has been saying “Yeah HOLD on” when she takes phone calls since she was a little, little kid.  She (now almost 22) can’t believe she was saying, “Yeah HOLD on” when she was 6, but she was!  And if I’m not careful, I say it, too!

From my daughters Amy and Rachel comes,
“WICKED!”  I actually first heard “wicked” used as a compliment like, “That’s a wicked good turkey sandwich!” by my fifth grade teacher Ellen Ennis, but in more recent years, no one used “wicked” more than Amy and Rachel and so I’ve really picked it up.

My son pointed out that I often say,
“TO MAKE A SHORT STORY LONG!”  He doesn’t know where I got that one and neither do I.  Could it be that I actually made THAT one up?!

Well, Happy Birthday to ME!